Not Happening

I've been crying on and off for the last seven hours. It's more about feeling very lonely than about what happened. I failed my glucose screening by two points today. Anything under 140 and you're good, no more tests. I tested at a 142. Afterwards, all I wanted to do was get out of there as fast as possible because I could tell I was going to start crying. I get in the car, start crying and all my husband has to say is why are you crying. And proceeds to tell me all the reasons I shouldn't be feeling any of the things I'm feeling. I told him I didn't really feel like talking about it before we were even out of the parking lot. They made me an appointment for my three hour screening today which I fully intend on canceling tomorrow. At first, I wasn't sure what I was going to do and I'm still not completely but one thing is for sure, I absolutely will not be going back there for future blood draws. I always tell them that I pass out so that a) they'll hopefully put me reclining and b) they don't freak out when/if it does happen. The lady who took my blood decided to use a rather large gauge needle because in her opinion, my blood would flow faster, thus less time with a needle in my arm. I tried to explain to her that my veins are fine, it never takes any time to get blood and I usually pass out AFTER the blood draw. She just smiled at me condescendingly and grabbed the large gauge. I've never had that much pain during a blood draw. She's lucky I didn't pass out. I heard the whoosh, whoosh of blood in my ears that usually tells me it's going to happen soon but Jasmine started picking her nose and distracted me. (I was telling her to knock it off) If I decide to go back for another test, it will be at the blood bank, downstairs from my OB's office. One of the girls that works there has drawn my blood two other times this pregnancy and if I have to get stuck three times in one day, I want her to be the one to do it. I just have to go in on a day she works and find out what her day off is so I don't go in that day. My OB's office also only schedules the blood draws for 8:30am. Ok, you all know I don't do mornings. On top of that, there's no one to watch my kid and on a three hour draw, I would most definitely have to have someone drive me. So, my husband can take the day off work, sit with me and Jasmine for three hours at the OB's office (let me tell you, an hour with her in that office was ENOUGH) or I can go in at noon to the blood bank, have less people around so Jasmine can be a little more... well, bad/noisy/playful. The main reason I'm not concerned about having diabetes is that when I was pregnant with Jasmine, my test was 138. I don't test well on the one hour. I didn't have a three hour with her and I KNOW I didn't have diabetes that time. I'm at two week appointments now so I don't plan on doing anything till after I talk to my OB. (my 3 hour was scheduled for three days before my next appointment so I don't think an extra few days is going to make a big difference) Like I said, I'm more upset with my husband than about the results. Although I think he believes that it's just because I have to be stuck with a needle. Yes, that's a big part of it but that's not why I'm upset RIGHT this moment. My pizza is done. For now I'm going to go eat something for the first time in over 24 hours. (I fasted to be on the safe side for the glucose test and then was too upset to eat afterwards)