tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74366440848607330232024-02-19T09:56:03.068-05:00An Animal Rescuers' LifeJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.comBlogger392125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-2570395015815300612013-04-01T02:21:00.002-04:002013-04-01T02:21:44.102-04:00Last Call.This will be my last post on this particular blog. It's not been a "safe" place for me for years. Too many people read it that would like to hurt me. The new blog that I will be starting will be by invite only. It will not be open to the public. You can request that I add you but if you have any association with my father or my ex-husband, you will be denied. I will not have a sarcastic comment or joke that I make being used against me later. This has truly been one of the hardest years of my life and I just don't want to give anyone, any reason to make it any harder. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-68507806832619501612012-07-22T19:06:00.001-04:002012-07-22T19:08:06.399-04:00Kindle giveaway<br />
<a class="rafl" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/e10bee9/" id="rc-e10bee9" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a><br />
<script src="//d12vno17mo87cx.cloudfront.net/embed/rafl/cptr.js">
</script><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-77004585144489600792011-12-26T01:19:00.003-05:002011-12-26T01:22:32.557-05:00Work place hellI hate my job. I wake up every day wishing I could just quit or that they would find some reason to fire me. I'm wondering if there's a way for me to quite my job and go back to school and get my BA in veterinary medicine without starving to death. If I didn't have kids, I'd have already done it. I have to find some way out of what has become my every day hell. I tried to get up with a positive attitude and find something that was good about my job but when every word you type makes you want to drive off a cliff, it's kind of hard to look at the positive.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-69986236787721771592011-02-14T02:17:00.003-05:002011-02-14T02:33:17.316-05:00Icky KittyIf you are easily (or hell, even not so easily) grossed out... you may want to turn your back on this entry. I will get back to the 30 days meme. I had pneumonia and pleurisy for two weeks so my life was quite literally put on hold.<br /><br />At some point while I was sick, Jake, aka cat from hell, aka fire kitty, had gotten out of my bedroom and lost the usual fight with my mom's kitty. A week or so later, I noticed he looked a little funny. The right side of his head was swollen and tender. Not the first time he's gotten an abscess from a cat fight. Eventually they get big enough that they pop open on their own and then are easily drained over the course of several days. I don't recommend this if you've never had to deal with a cat abscess before. I was concerned that it wouldn't open before this weekend (when I don't have the kids, I stay the weekend at my boyfriend's house, coming home briefly to feed the animals) so I used a syringe to make a small hole, however I wasn't able to get much drainage from it. A few days later, it popped on it's own. No animal enjoys having a pus filled wound squeezed and pinched to try to remove all the infection and then having a syringe full of water put in that same wound. I opened the wound daily and drained it repeatedly. Saturday, I left it alone as Jake was getting rather volatile. I knew I'd be home Sunday and could re-open it then if needed. I waited till the kids were asleep to take Jake in the bathroom and begin the process. He had a scab on his head where the first abscess had popped but I thought it was just from scratching. While I was using a warm cloth to soften the scabs so they would be easier to remove, the scab on his head came off. You know it's bad when I have to pause and turn my head for a moment. Holy cow that was a big wound. I moved on to where the infection remained. The scabs came off rather easily but nothing was coming out. I could feel that there was still infection on the side of his head. I figured the wound had healed too much and nothing could pass through. I massaged the area for a minute and when I was getting ready to try a different method, it happened. *shudder* A steady stream of pus and blood shot out of his neck. I had to stop and hold pressure to his neck before I could continue. I hope like hell tomorrow is less explosive than today. I don't know how much of that my stomach can handle on a regular basis.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-45106386074147696962011-01-27T05:41:00.001-05:002011-01-27T05:42:19.448-05:00I no longer wonder how I fell out of love with you but how I ever fell <strong>in </strong>love with you in the first place.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-90418605754991158852011-01-27T05:36:00.002-05:002011-01-27T05:41:19.387-05:00Something you love about yourselfI love that I'm one of the weirdest people I know. I love every quirk I have. The fact that I can open doors using only my feet, that I clap three times before I sneeze or that I eat the corners off of most hot foods that are square/rectangle before eating any other part. I love that I'm willing to give just about anyone a second chance, no matter how they've wronged me in the past. That I always have a shoulder to lean on, no matter what I'm dealing with in my own life. I love that I laugh from the depths of my soul, that I throw my head back and let as much noise out as possible. And that when I sing a song, <strong>really</strong> sing it, that I cry. I love that I will dance in the middle of a bar that has no dance floor and not feel the least bit self conscious. I love that after everything, I still wear my heart on my sleeve and have managed to keep my walls to minimum. I love the things that make me, <strong>me</strong>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-20963322871944602382011-01-13T03:54:00.003-05:002011-01-13T04:04:55.688-05:00Day 1 - Something you hate about yourselfI hate that I put every single thing I do off till the last minute. I hate my selfishness. The fact that I can't take criticism without feeling insulted and hurt. I hate my inability to have patience, that I'm always on edge. I hate that I let you use me. And while you do, I say it's ok, no big deal, don't worry about it, let me know if you need anything else, call me. I hate that I need constant praise in one form or another in order to have a good day. I hate that the people I crave that from the most, never give it freely. I hate my inability to trust anything at face value and my suspicion of everyone's motives. I hate that you made me that way. I hate that my heart can feel broken with just a casual phrase. I hate that I don't stand up for myself to you or you. That I'd rather deal with the hurts than fight for myself. I hate that I never truly let anyone in aside from Abby. That I don't trust anyone to love me, for me. That I'd rather sugar coat who I am in hopes that, that will be enough to see past the ugly pieces of who I am. I hate that I have to feel broken in order to eventually feel whole again.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-43585536906220668312011-01-13T03:52:00.002-05:002011-01-13T03:54:09.245-05:0030 Days of TruthI was having a hard time deciding on doing the meme 30 Days of Truth that is going around right now. Then I woke up one day and realized I NEED to write. Most of what goes on in my life, I can't write about anymore, therefore, I needed a topic. For now, I have 30 days worth of topics. After that... I guess we'll see if I keep up on anything.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-78211164098595392492010-10-19T16:50:00.002-04:002010-10-19T16:52:45.506-04:00If you're reading this, don't ever contact me again. What you have done to her is unforgiveable in my opinion. She's your mother for christ's sake.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-33984820814012570372010-06-30T22:09:00.003-04:002010-06-30T22:20:35.502-04:00YeeshBeen a while. A long while. First off, my little conundrum. I've been looking for a new home for my doberman, Cash and my pit bull, Rocky for several months. I finally get a guy interested in Cash and after a month of deciding, he comes to get him with his wife. I get a call a day and a half after they take him saying that it's not going to work out, could I call them back. (I was at work) I called back and left a message and have yet to hear from them. My mom says I shouldn't call again, that they probably changed their minds, however I don't want them to take a dog that I love and drop him off in the middle of no where. If I haven't heard anything by Saturday, I might call again just for peace of mind. Rocky went to a new home for about an hour before he was returned. Not because he did anything but because their little tiny dog attacked him and Rocky cried. They thought that eventually Rocky would get sick of the little dog and eat him. <br /><br />Everything is the same with my place of employment. All good there. I've been with my boyfriend for about six months but it was icky for about six weeks. I was to the point that I was done. I didn't even hear from him for a full week at one point. Something must have bit him in the ass however as he's done a total turnaround. However, while we were on the outs, I made some awesome new friends and had a lot of fun. I'm learning about myself as I go on. It's just been slow going. <br /><br />Kids are doing great. Jasmine has the attitude of a 15 year old girl. Evan has the attitude of a pissed off two year old. Someone is always throwing something or screaming. The quiet days are a blessing. I hate that I seem to have to work on the nicest days and the days I have off it's either raining or too hot to move. I want to take them to the zoo, the park and the woods. I just need a nice day to do one of them and a day off to do it. I'm thinking of just getting up early one day and driving them to Fort Wayne and going through that zoo. Oh and I want to take Jasmine to Deer Forest due to the fact that one of her little friends told her that all deer's are mean. I'd like to show her that they are not. For now we've been looking at bugs outside. haha<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-28337760483736697142010-03-19T02:15:00.003-04:002010-03-19T03:46:37.471-04:00When I was about 12 or 13, my family used to volunteer for a place called Reins of Life. It's a place for therapeutic horseback riding for disabled people. We would feed the horses every Friday morning. My brother and I only did this in the summer, when we were out of school or if we had a Friday off for some reason. I think it's the <strong>only</strong> thing we ever did as a family. We had been doing it for quite some time and were in a routine. It wasn't unusual to spend a couple of hours feeding 20-30 horses and we had gotten used to being around them and knew their personalities. One horse was not used for therapy. He was the directors horse. I'm still not exactly clear on the details as to why the horse was there but I believe it had to do with the fact that they couldn't afford to pay her the salary she was asking and they compromised by letting her board the horse there. I remember it was warmer than usual, even for an August morning. It had also rained over the days prior, leaving the normally hard and dusty paddocks to be slightly squishy but not exactly muddy. We were on the final paddock of, I believe, four with an average of five horses per paddock. We were hot, tired and getting cranky. The directors horse, Sully was a stallion and impossible. I usually tied him down as I seemed to have a bond with him. One of the most awesome and dreamlike moments of my life was with Sully. It was just him and myself in the field. I was running and suddenly, he was next to me, galloping beside me. I ran several times around the field, him next to me the entire time. It's strange but that is the most "free" I ever felt in my life. He must have been feeling just as cranky as we were because he just would not allow me to tie him to the lean-to. Each time I would almost get the knot and he would jerk his head as if to hit me in the face with his jaw. After about five minutes of this, I became frustrated and made a mistake. There was a tiny voice in the back of my head <strong>screaming</strong> as to why what I was about to do was idiotic. But as I said, tired, cranky, hot. So I bitchslapped the voice and continued on. First off, I put myself in between a horse and a solid object. Not the best place you want to be with a 1500lb animal. Second, I went behind him, knowing the state of agitation he was in. As soon as my left foot was behind his right hind hoof, He stepped back onto it. And then he shifted his weight onto the foot. It seemed very intentional and to this day, I believe it really was just that. I'm sure it was only maybe twenty seconds but it seemed like a lot longer that he was standing on me, my foot sinking further into the soggy ground. I was punching his hindquarters and telling him to move, but not quite as nicely as that sounds. On the third shove, he stepped off of my foot. It was at that moment that my dad came around the corner. He had no idea why I basically said to hell with this horse, YOU tie him down. I just walked out of the paddock as if nothing happened. I felt not pain. The tears that stung the back of my eyes were not from pain but frustration and anger at myself. I walked to another pasture with one of the other volunteers as she was there to give some medication. All the way there, I was pissed at myself but on the way back, I was beginning to wonder how I had escaped with not pain. When I got to the hay barn, I removed my shoes and socks to see if there was any damage, since I couldn't feel anything. My foot had a goose egg growing on it and was a nasty mix of purple and blue. I have never seen a bruise before or since. My mother wanted to take me to the ER, my dad said I was fine. Therefore, I decided I would BE fine. We gathered the rest of the buckets after everyone was done eating and headed home. Again, still not really feeling much but maybe a dull ache like a sore muscle. As I did every week, I immediately went to get into the shower to wash away the sweat and smell of horse manure. The exact second the first water droplet hit my foot, I felt extreme and unbelievable pain. I showered quickly and with my foot elevated so as not to get any large drops of water hurled at it as they felt like hot coals being hurled at light speed. By now, my foot was grotesquely swollen and even more bruised. I still refused to go to the hospital. It was so swollen that I couldn't even put a flip flop on to hobble to the neighbors house later in the day. I had to go barefoot and hop. Six months later, I was still bruised, visibly. I never received any treatment for my foot and have no idea to this day exactly how badly injured I was but I'm sure I should've been to an ER as I am still, approximately 13 years later, bruised. You can only see it if I've just taken a really hot shower or it's ridiculously hot out but the bruise is there. Major changes in temperature cause my foot to be very tender. I cannot have that foot massaged as it's painful to have any pressure applied to the webbing between the big toe and his skinnier neighbor toe. I don't even like to have that foot touched to be honest. One of the toes on that foot no longer bends. It should be no surprise that I am overly cautious around horses now. I never saw Sully again after that day. I know many other volunteers had gotten to the point that they refused to feed any horse in that paddock. Our family was one of the last to still be willing to feed him. And I only went back to volunteer a few more times that summer before I was back in school. I will never forget Sully. Not just for the very painful lesson I learned but also for the few fleeting moments of freedom he gave me in the pasture that day.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-36689593145224233642010-03-19T02:05:00.004-04:002010-03-19T02:15:05.760-04:00Spoons and ForksI've been quite introspective lately. Doing a lot of thinking and not a lot of writing. Kind of at a fork in the road and not exactly sure which road to take kind of thing. Nothing I'm posting about on here, at least not till I figure it out. You have your gut saying one thing and then you have people you trust saying another and have to decide which one to go with. I'm not sure if either is right however. *sighs* <br /><br />I don't speak to half of my family. The half I do speak to, I never see because I'm always at work. Which is going well actually. I think I could easily be a bartender with as quickly as I picked up on the whole coffee thing. (there's a lot more involved than it sounds, I swear!) Only reason I wouldn't go that route is the hours. The money would be better however, as would the tips. Most I've made in tips so far was four bucks last Saturday. Enough whining. I have another post to write.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-89313169086616482492010-03-03T01:41:00.002-05:002010-03-03T01:47:39.090-05:00sleep, work, eat, repeatI'm in a fairly good place right now overall. I started my job as a barista in a coffee place last Monday and have been thriving. I was worried the fast pace would be stressful but you just kind of zone out and make coffee. It's nice to have a few hours that are completely thought free unless it's dead at work. I like my co-workers but then I knew them before I started so I was pretty sure that wouldn't be an issue. <br /><br />I've been dating a guy for a while now and that is going quite well, in a scary way considering that I'm in the middle of a divorce. But I like him, I adore his kids and we like each other's company so I'm trying not to think too much more into it than that at this point. <br /><br />I'm still on very good terms with my eventually, ex-husband and I think I always will be. I love him but not in the way you're supposed to love someone you're married to. He will always be my family, and my friend. I'm sure we will have ups and downs along the way, hell we already have but we'll work through them. My brain can't function any longer tonight so it's off to sleepyville for me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-20149425757147871722010-02-18T23:50:00.003-05:002010-02-18T23:59:15.562-05:00Frustration, I haz itIt's been a while, I know. I'm getting divorced, living with my mom and have a job, which I haven't started yet. There, you're caught up. Kids have been sick with colds for over a month now. I'm tired of melodramatic men and their excess amounts of baggage. It seems that the only way to date someone who is halfway normal is if you only date in your early twenties because after that, your choices go downhill. Men nowadays act more like women than ever before. They're needy, emotional and moody. If I wanted to deal with that, I would've become a lesbian a long time ago. Some days I just want to turn off my phone, disconnect the internet and hide. I've been spending a ton of time with men who are ONLY my friend and who are always just going to be my friend because at least that way I can enjoy myself without all that extra pressure and emotion. And of course with my female friends as well but having some kind of male company is nice. I think I just need a break in a major way and I have no idea how to get it.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-90232488645574610982010-01-07T02:26:00.002-05:002010-01-07T02:42:47.953-05:00Blech, blahHusband still isn't living here. We're still going to marriage counseling. It's been a stressful month to say the least. In next month or so, I'll be moving to my mom's so that we can turn down the electric and gas and turn off the internet. It's going to be an adjustment not living in my own place again. *sigh* <br /><br />Today was... interesting. Shawn came by to visit the kids and help me out a little as I have had a nasty cold. He pulled in and noticed the garage lights weren't working so he went in the basement to flip the breaker. As soon as he flipped it, it turned off again. The only thing that he thought it could be was the extension cord going out to the cat house for the heat lamp. When he got outside, he saw smoke pouring from the shed and called 911 as he was grabbing one of the cats. The other cat is terrified of men and fled into the fire. Once I was aware of the fire, I ran outside to try and coax Jake out of the burning building. He would only meow. I grabbed the flashlight from Shawn before he had time to protest too much and ran inside to get my cat. I found him just as I ran out of air. (couldn't hold my breath any longer!) It seemed to take forever but in fact it was probably less than 30 seconds from the time I entered to the time I exited. I got up to the garage and Shawn went to reach for the cat to take him inside, forgetting his fear of men. Jake flipped out. I tried to hold onto the scruff of his neck but he used his back legs to spring from my hands, his nails gauging my right hand. I followed him into a large patch of bushes but couldn't see him, only hear his meowing. I knew he had at least been singed some as his fur was melted and black. (he's an orange tabby) By then the fire department had arrived so I was pretty sure he wouldn't be coming out. We continued to look till they were leaving. The shed is a complete loss. They took the walls off of it to stop the fire. I finally went inside to wash my hand and get a better look at it. One gauge is all the way to the bone. They are both nasty looking, made even more so by the fact that there is soot in both wounds that will not be washed away. Eventually, I took another trip outside to look for the cat, who by then, I figured was probably dead. He had breathed in a great deal of acrid smoke and I was unsure as to how badly burned he was when he had gotten away. I found him almost as soon as I crawled into the bushes and carried him inside. The cat *shakes head* must have a thousand lives. Aside from the melted fur and missing a few whiskers, he is completely fine. This, if you remember, is the evil cat from hell. I have multiple scars from this cat and have had infections from him biting me. I may end up with an infection this time as well. My hand is swelling and doesn't feel too great at the moment. By the time it was all said and done, I had soot and ash from head to toe. Even Evan managed to get soot on his legs from the stuff we brought in on us. Both cats survived however and there wasn't anything in the shed except for straw and cat food. I think I'll be coughing up tar for a while but my lungs will heal. The firemen were here within three minutes of the call. I will miss that security when we move to my mom's who lives in the middle of nowhere. Right now I can walk to the fire station it's that close. <br /><br />My birthday was quite awesome. I spent it with Beth. It doesn't sound glamorous as all we did was go to a bar and play pool for a few hours but when you're with a good friend, having fun, it makes all the difference.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-47652334210085833722009-12-25T02:54:00.002-05:002009-12-25T03:01:44.259-05:00Happy/Merry Whatever you celebrateMerry Christmas to everyone. Santa still hasn't come yet and it's 3am. My kids are going to be exhausted tomorrow. I just finished making maple creams for my grandmother's Christmas present. She is the only one who isn't one of my kids that is getting something. We just don't have the money this year. <br /><br />Cash started limping a few days ago on one of his back legs. Now he won't put any weight on it at all. I took a closer look at him tonight and almost got my face bit off. He seems to be in a good deal of pain. I don't think anything is broken, I'm more worried about something being dislocated at this point. We need to find a way to get him to the vet soon. He's a clumsy dog and always tripping or falling over his long legs. I gave him a good dose of anti-inflammatory's tonight and will do so again tomorrow. Between stress and the holidays, I am exhausted. This next coming week I still have people to bake for. Two batches of kiflis and one batch of chocolate crinkles. I have an angel food cake to make at some point but it might not happen for quite a while. My birthday is on Sunday and I'm hoping to go play some pool with Beth. We have to make sure her family doesn't have any other plans for her for the holiday. ;) It feels a little selfish that I just want to spend the evening with her but I know it's the only way I can truly relax for a few hours.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-64343993024126312392009-12-17T01:28:00.003-05:002009-12-17T01:37:18.329-05:00Oooooh 2 in 24 hours! :DHoly smokes batman! I just realized how much food I have to bake in the next week. I have kifli's to make for my husband and a friend of ours, chocolate crinkles for another friend and an angel food cake for yet another friend. Plus, I want to bake something for work as they are taking lunch to one of the local shelters as a show of our appreciation for all they do. (kissing ass so it's easier for us to pull animals from area shelters) And then I'll need to make some of the yummy stuff that I'd like to eat around Christmas for myself and family members. Oh and we haven't even started our Christmas shopping, my birthday is in ten days, I have two marriage counseling sessions between now and then, plus the foster dog needs to go back to the vet, I need to see the doctor for pain I've been having... leave anything out? Trying not to lose my mind in the meantime. Holy hell it's going to be a long month.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-49465600621383527172009-12-16T06:23:00.002-05:002009-12-16T06:35:32.318-05:00Thought I should say something after so much timeIt always shocks me how long I can go without posting anything on here and then at other times in my life, I will post several entries every day. My husband and I are in marriage counseling now. The first session wasn't too bad but she's warned us that it will be much harder at the next one. I am not a "feelings" person so sharing them takes a lot out of me. The last one was easy and I came out feeling like I needed air in a big way. I can only imagine how I will feel after some of the next ones. We have two before Christmas and then one after before we get a little over a week break. I think I will dread every single one of them. As I said, I'm not a feelings person. I don't like to talk about them and I don't want to know about them. Many say I sound like a guy but it's just how I am. I'm at a point in my life where I've come to realize that thus far, I've been living my life for other people. That would be ok for me to accept if it was for my children but it's for every single person in my life. I do what makes them happiest, say what makes them happiest and put my own needs aside. Unfortunately, now that I've started to do, say and act in a way that might make me happy, it's having a negative effect on all those relationships. To them, I'm a different person and changed overnight. In reality, this is who I've always been but I chose to keep it inside. That doesn't mean I don't still want to make those people in my life happy and for them to have happiness but I feel like I deserve some of that as well and I don't think anyone gains anything over time if one is constantly making sacrifices for someone else. Eventually, everyone pays for it. <br /><br />On happier notes, Evan is very close to walking unassisted, can clap quite well and says Uh-Oh. We never say uh-oh in my house. It's just not something we say. I'd have been less surprised to hear oh shit, than uh-oh out of his mouth. Turns out, one of my daughter's toys says uh-oh when you press the wrong button. He loves this toy and plays with it often. At least now I know where he picked up uh-oh at. Jasmine flipped off one of my friends today when he pissed her off... twice. I'm not sure if she meant to use her index finger as a 'Hold on now mister' (she was using it and her thumb to hold a sucker) or if she had actually seen one of us use that form of sign language at some point. She was told not to use that finger anymore.... through gasps as we were laughing so hard. ;)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-19835738423320073502009-12-08T02:02:00.002-05:002009-12-08T02:23:09.720-05:00cousinI'm so grateful my cousin was here this weekend. I don't know how I would've gotten through it without him. I love him dearly. He just seemed to know what I needed, whether it was to be distracted from things or to talk about them. Somehow, we managed to have a lot of fun over the weekend, playing cards and just talking. <br /><br />I went and got my lip pierced today. It's called a monroe. It was actually fairly painless and only a little achy now. I have an excellent piercer, who also happens to be a friend. He truly cares about what he's doing, how it looks and how it's going to look later down the line. I'm not supposed to have alcohol for two weeks and try to avoid spicy foods for four. I'm making lasagna for the boys Wednesday. I just have to be really careful when eating and then rinse my mouth afterwards. There's not too much more I want to get pierced right now but that could change. I just seem to get bored. I said after the last facial piercing, I wouldn't get anymore on my face. A few years later and I've got this one. ;)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-39879991341540502012009-12-03T04:35:00.002-05:002009-12-03T23:27:18.097-05:00Slightly unexpected house guestsMy cousin and his friend, Brittany have come for a visit. There's no word on how long they'll be here but I enjoy my cousin a great deal and I'm always happy to have him. They weren't supposed to be here till tomorrow.<br /><br /><br /><br />Me (driving home from the mall): Hello?<br /><br />Chad: Hey, what are you doing?<br /><br />Me: uhm, driving. where are you?<br /><br />Chad: Oh, I'm here.<br /><br />Me: You know it's Wednesday, not Thursday?<br /><br />Chad: I know. Sooo, you're not here?<br /><br />Me: No, meet me at my mom's. I have to pick up the kids.<br /><br /><br /><br />And that's how I discovered they were here. :) Good thing I had done a little bit of cleaning before I left earlier in the day.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-80256751974270689712009-12-01T03:18:00.003-05:002009-12-01T03:27:18.579-05:00I'm fairly fairly numb off vicodin and alcohol at the moment. The reason I haven't posted regularly? Well, tonight I am living with just myself and my kids. I don't know for how long. I don't know where my marriage is. Counseling will be had at some point but right now, I think my husband needed some air. And I think I've broken the heart of the only man to ever truly love me for the second time in our relationship. I don't know who I am anymore or what I want and I don't know how to figure those things out or find them again. I know, it's not at the bottom of a bottle but cut me some slack. I know that I have definitely found the truest friend I have ever had now that I have went through some of the worst times of my life and she has been there through it all. And never judged me for one single awful thing I have said. I can't say it enough right now Beth. I absolutely love you. I'm so glad that fate (or Dan, whichever... don't tell him I called him fate... shit his ego would kill us all) brought us together. And now I'm going to eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-26193206878636422532009-11-30T03:57:00.003-05:002009-11-30T04:09:28.806-05:00See, I really can cookI made lasagna and garlic bread from scratch tonight. Normally I buy two jars of sauce (prego) and make it that way. Tonight I actually mixed it all myself. Took three hours, whereas it normally takes half that with the jars but it was very good. The fresh loaf of french bread with garlic, rosemary and basil was excellent as well. It really wouldn't have been the same without that pinch of rosemary. I thought the whole meal was excellent, as did the boys. It's a lot of work but well worth it. Although next time I want a higher quality of ricotta cheese. :) <br /><br />My throat issues are gone as quickly as they came. I had white patches covering my tonsils, they were swollen to three times their normal size and then it was better. Like crazy voodoo. And it really didn't hurt much. I took a vicodin on Thanksgiving because I was certain my throat would be on fire and I wouldn't be able to eat but that never happened. <br /><br />Speaking of Thanksgiving, ours was great. My cousin and uncle came up from Indy. And the usual relatives were there along with a few new girlfriends. I think my uncle's new woman is a keeper from what I've seen. She's very easy going and different enough from the rest of us to be interesting without being the odd one out. <br /><br />Saturday we watched ND lose their asses for the last game of the season. I got very drunk in the first quarter and sat outside of half of the second. You know, I really don't know where I was for most of the second or third quarters. :D I was sitting outside for some of the time because they had a fire going and it irritated my asthma. Eventually I got used to it or was too drunk to notice anymore. Earlier in the day my mom took me out shopping without the kids. That was definitely much needed. I think I could've walked around the mall with her for the entire weekend and been happy as a clam.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-22546891856313013192009-11-26T02:08:00.000-05:002009-11-26T02:09:02.482-05:00Happy Thanksgiving. I feel like hell. I think my tonsils are trying to escape.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-5618498540474178832009-11-25T03:56:00.002-05:002009-11-25T04:05:48.518-05:00We be boring, yoYes, we're all still alive. ;) I've just been super lazy about blogging. This week, I've been watching the first and now, the second seasons of True Blood. OMG! Love this show! Makes me wish I had HBO so I could watch season 3 on demand. However, it would be the only reason I would have HBO and it's not worth it to me. I've been reading, listening to loads of music (obsessed with Regina Spektor at the moment) and listening to audio books before I go to sleep. My iPod has been getting a workout. The rest of the week will be busy. Wednesday, helping a friend move a new bedroom set into his apartment. Thursday, dinner at my mom's house for Thanksgiving. Friday, no plans yet but I won't be surprised if we end up with one or both of the boys. (I have NO plans of shopping and I don't feel like getting a tree yet) Saturday, ND football game with one of the boys. Sunday, having our own kind of Thanksgiving dinner with the boys. And I think my dad will be getting back into town this weekend as well so we may end up over there during the early part of next week. I'm not even sure where in the country he is right now but he was in Virgina and heading or Pennsylvania if I'm not mistaken. <br /><br />Security is gone now. They were supposed to stay one more night but I asked Shawn to tell them not to come. I just want to be done with it. I want to be able to go get the mail in the middle of the day without having some guy watch me walk to and from the mailbox and then have to stop and make idle chit chat. Although, they were helpful today when the UPS guy came today and had a package that needed to be signed for. I don't open the door during the day for anyone so they could've knocked till their finger bled. Luckily, the security guy signed for it before they left. Back to my show....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436644084860733023.post-17714547694197921382009-11-16T20:17:00.002-05:002009-11-16T20:29:05.179-05:00The reason why we need security outside my houseSo apparently, there have been threats made against Shawn's life. Basic rundown, on Friday a guy he works with said that he was going to come in on Monday and shoot people. He told two different people this. My husband is the union steward for that area and they came to him with their concerns. Shawn was on the phone, literally, till about 11pm Friday night, trying to get someone to take him seriously. Finally, it was decided that he would be fired and his badge would be de-activated, therefore making it impossible for him to get into the building. (at least that's the idea) There was still some concern the guy could be in the parking lot however so they are having the people who's life has been threatened, park in back and are being clocked in by management. Now we come to today. The guy heard that Shawn was the main person behind making sure no one died and made a comment about coming after him. (the guy is mentally unstable at best and they believe he's doing meth) The company my husband works for decided that it would be safer for us if we had a security team outside of our house during the hours that my husband is at work. Starting tonight, I will have a guy armed in my driveway. One of the boys is also going to be staying the night tonight. We have a gun now as of last week. It's not supposed to be here but due to circumstances, it is. I have never fired something with that much power so I'm a little nervous if something were to happen but at this point, I really don't think it will. I think the guy has far more important people he wants to kill over Shawn. Starting with his ex-wife. (who is aware of the situation) So there you have it. Tonight I'll be watching a large amount of xbox and acting like there's nothing going on. I should be more concerned, I'm sure but I just don't see anything happening. I woke up to my husband telling me I would be staying at my mom's. I don't like being told what I'm going to do or what I'm not going to do. I usually do the opposite. I am staying in my home.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54486/308/713F8CFC11B8BAD8DA9734A949C18A26.png" style="border: none; background: transparent;"/></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02809818104596108203noreply@blogger.com2