Easing Stress

I was having trouble relaxing tonight and knew if I didn't work things out on paper, I wouldn't be getting much in the way of sleep later. The bills don't normally freak me out but occasionally (about once every three months) they keep me up at night. At this point, I'm pretty sure we have enough money coming in to cover the bills, gasoline and grocery's. This wasn't always the case. A year or so ago, we had more bills than money. Ok, so we could pay the bills on time every month but we wouldn't be eating or driving anywhere, literally. Now, looking over the bills and incoming money, I think we actually have enough coming in that if we really wanted to, we could actually do that thing... what's it called? Oh yeah, save some of it. I'm not completely certain as I couldn't get on a few of the websites that we have bills through so I had to guesstimate. Anything I wasn't sure of, I guessed anywhere from $25 to $50 higher than what I thought. Now why is every single bill we owe, always, always late? We piss it away to be quite frank. This is what was a problem for me tonight. I needed to know exactly what needed to be saved back weekly for bills as opposed to monthly. We have always had better luck paying bills that were due at the end of the week rather than the end of the month. I figured out how much each bill was divided by 4 and then added those figures up for a weekly amount. It would be great if when taxes came, we could use that money to fix up some of the house and possibly even do that saving thing, rather than have all of it go to late bills. Yes, it's more fun to spend it when you have it but it would be nice to feel secure. I'm still adapting to this adult thing. When I was a kid and into my teens, I occasionally heard the "adults" say things similar to "Just because I'm an adult, doesn't mean I know what the hell I'm doing." I think most of us are just winging it. There is no instruction manual on how to do everything correctly all the time. You can be told a hundred times, the easiest way to do things (i.e. pay bills on time) but you have to learn to do it and stick to it on your own. I have a great deal of self control in my life, unless you throw money into the mix. Particularly if I'm hungry. Eating out is always easier than spending the time cooking the meal and then cleaning up after it. Everyone close to me knows that my stomach rules my life. If I'm hungry, everyone around me is miserable. If I'm hungry, I will spend money to immediately fix it. And then feel guilty for spending it afterwards. I need to get control of my stomach. Bad stomach, on time out for you.
We did not go to a movie today. We were out most of the day doing the shopping we haven't gotten done. Afterwards we went to dinner with my dad. It went well, other than the fact that Jasmine insisted on itching her butt the entire time. I'd get her to stop and then look over, she's itching again. She'd finally stopped by the time we went to do our grocery shopping, thankfully. It aggravated me all through dinner however. When we, finally, got home, we put on a movie. The Happening... sucks. Ok, I guess sucks is a strong word but it wasn't a great movie. I wanted to see something that was in line with this month being October and Halloween so it was between that and The Strangers. Husband thought The Strangers looked scarier for a toddler so we went with The Happening. I had to cover that poor kid's eyes so often she might as well have kept them closed through the whole thing. I just didn't want her seeing person after person commit suicide. I mean, how do you explain that to a 3 year old? Every time she asked me what had happened I would say something completely opposite of what had happened. (guy sits down to slit his wrists, I told her he was playing with rocks on the ground, since the last thing she saw was him sit down by rocks) As long as it stopped the endless questions, I was pretty ok with it. ;)