Thursday, January 27, 2011

I no longer wonder how I fell out of love with you but how I ever fell in love with you in the first place.

Something you love about yourself

I love that I'm one of the weirdest people I know. I love every quirk I have. The fact that I can open doors using only my feet, that I clap three times before I sneeze or that I eat the corners off of most hot foods that are square/rectangle before eating any other part. I love that I'm willing to give just about anyone a second chance, no matter how they've wronged me in the past. That I always have a shoulder to lean on, no matter what I'm dealing with in my own life. I love that I laugh from the depths of my soul, that I throw my head back and let as much noise out as possible. And that when I sing a song, really sing it, that I cry. I love that I will dance in the middle of a bar that has no dance floor and not feel the least bit self conscious. I love that after everything, I still wear my heart on my sleeve and have managed to keep my walls to minimum. I love the things that make me, me.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself

I hate that I put every single thing I do off till the last minute. I hate my selfishness. The fact that I can't take criticism without feeling insulted and hurt. I hate my inability to have patience, that I'm always on edge. I hate that I let you use me. And while you do, I say it's ok, no big deal, don't worry about it, let me know if you need anything else, call me. I hate that I need constant praise in one form or another in order to have a good day. I hate that the people I crave that from the most, never give it freely. I hate my inability to trust anything at face value and my suspicion of everyone's motives. I hate that you made me that way. I hate that my heart can feel broken with just a casual phrase. I hate that I don't stand up for myself to you or you. That I'd rather deal with the hurts than fight for myself. I hate that I never truly let anyone in aside from Abby. That I don't trust anyone to love me, for me. That I'd rather sugar coat who I am in hopes that, that will be enough to see past the ugly pieces of who I am. I hate that I have to feel broken in order to eventually feel whole again.

30 Days of Truth

I was having a hard time deciding on doing the meme 30 Days of Truth that is going around right now. Then I woke up one day and realized I NEED to write. Most of what goes on in my life, I can't write about anymore, therefore, I needed a topic. For now, I have 30 days worth of topics. After that... I guess we'll see if I keep up on anything.