Sunday, November 23, 2008

Oh no she didn't ;)

I don't normally post anything in detail about my MIL but today, well I just don't care if she reads this. I draw a very strong line in the sand when it comes to my daughter and she crossed it today as far as I'm concerned. Her main tactic with my husband has always been manipulation, usually with guilt. It stopped working a long time ago with him but she continues to try any way. We have had this conversation with her numerous times on where Jasmine will be when I go into labor. She WILL be with my mom, at my mom's house. I've gotten very frustrated the last month or so that she has known about my pregnancy as she just won't listen. She has went as far as to say that Jasmine will cry if left at my mom's. Well, she'll have a frickin' panic attack if she's left at my MIL's house for ANY length of time. My husband and I were in the kitchen (which is open to my living room) getting dinner on plates for everyone when we heard his mom ask my daughter 'Are you coming to stay at my house when your mommy has the baby?' It wasn't really said as a question but more of a fact, as if this had been decided. This is the second time in as many weeks that she has tried to use my daughter to get her way. The last time we were with her, she asked if we had found out the sex of the baby, which we said no and then she immediately turned to my daughter and asked her if we were having a boy or a girl, as if since we're not telling her, my daughter will. Since my MIL has left the house, I have had to reassure my daughter SEVERAL times that she will NOT be going to stay at my MIL's house. Do you have any idea how hard it is on a three year old when major plans suddenly change in her little mind? It takes a lot to get her to understand what is going to happen while this baby is being born and then get her to accept it on top of everything else. For my MIL to go in and completely destroy all the work I've put into this, is just maddening. She upset my daughter for no reason other than in hopes of personal gain. I was so beyond pissed that I literally almost had to go outside in order to keep from losing it. My husband was standing next to me, yelling into the living room that Jasmine was not to listen to her and that she was NOT staying with her. (my MIL was completely oblivious to this as she is almost totally deaf) Do you have any idea how many times I'm going to have to reassure my daughter that none of that is going to happen? Normally, when my MIL does these types of things, I say nothing to my husband, at least not till I calm down but this was one of those times where the words 'WTF is wrong with your mom?' just managed to come out. I just don't know how much more crap I can take before I can't keep quiet anymore. My husband has told me many times that he doesn't care if I blow up at her but I'm a keep the peace type of person. I typically take the stand that if I don't have to deal with someone often, then there's no need to make future visits with them uncomfortable, particularly when it doesn't change them or the way they act. (my dad is the king of manipulation so this is nothing new to me but I hate dealing with it from anyone)

On the other end of things, I have most of my Christmas presents picked out for people. My husband is pretty much the only one that I have no idea what I'll be doing. It's a relief because I usually agonize over it for weeks at a time before I either a) find the "perfect" gift idea for each person or b) say screw it and get them a gift card. I also found a new recipe for cookies that I'm going to try out before Christmas. You actually use cake mix in these and I can mess with the recipe a little to make them fluffy. Unfortunately, they all have to be eaten with about two days or they start to get gross. I'm off to find some more things that sound good to make. (oh and the macaroni and cheese I made in the oven today, new recipe, was really good... next time I'll just use a little less cheese as this was more cheese soup than anything else) Then I'm going to create voodoo dolls and stick them till I feel better. ;))))


Beth said...

Jeez. I'll be happy to create a voodoo doll of the MIL on your behalf!

That is just beyond appalling. It is yours and Shawn's decision about where your daughter will be when you are having your baby. Her willingness to confuse the issue and to confuse JASMINE is just horrid. What does she hope to gain from that? Is she that petty that she can't step aside and let you, your husband, and your daughter BE A FAMILY?! UGH!

Yikes, if she reads this, she won't like me very much. Please don't give out my address! ;)

Hang in there, hon. Oh, and it's really not enough to have your husband's permission to blow up at his mom. That's not your job. It's his job to tell her to back the f*** off.

Okay, now he's going to hate me, too.

Love, Beth

Wes said...


I'm out of it, I posted thinking that you were going to see her tomorrow. I realized after reading this , that it did not go well. I have only talked to my MIL 8 times since MJ has been born. Lisa has not seen her but maybe 10 times. It seems to be better this way, I have been trying to let MJ connect with her. Sometimes people are just stuck in hteir ways, and can't behave themselves. You can speak to some people without blowing up, but will they listen? I hope things get better for you and your family. Please take it easy and enjoy yourself this week!


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Yea, what Beth Said :o)

It is amazing how some people think they know what is best, or how oblivious they are to reality. Hope the rest of the visit gets better.

online casinos gambling said...

I really now can say that MIL are not good and best as they seem. I hope so too that things will turn out right for your family.

Robin said...

There's a cake mix I use for a cookie recipe. People really like it. You MIL trying to manipulate the little girl is so not right. It is hard, and I hope it can stay nipped in the bud NOW. As she grows older, as in teen years and up, she'll have learned more, and can understand and deal with it better. Right now, how would she know MIL wasn't correct, etc.? Shaking my head....... let hubby handle, and you relax!

Indigo said...

I think your MIL is related to my daughters. What the hell is wrong with her! If she has a problem with you and the decisions you've made thats on her. But to put Jasmine in the middle is horrendous. She's lucky you allow her to be around Jasmine. I'm not so sure If I would if she kept this up. (Hugs)Indigo