Monday, January 5, 2009

The evasive sleep

Here it is 7am and I am just now getting to relax. Jasmine just would not go to sleep. When she finally fell asleep, I got up to pee and she woke up. When she wakes up, you have to start all over again trying to get her to sleep. It took two hours of trying to get her to sleep from the last time she woke up. If it happened again, I think I would just give up, put a movie on and wait till she passes out, probably several hours later. To top it off, the one that lives inside me has not stopped pushing on my innards for the last several hours. The kid is so strong that when it pushed on my back an hour or so ago, I felt and heard it pop, as if at the chiropractor. Now I'm just waiting to feel one of my ribs snap in two.

I hate when my husband goes back to work after vacation. It takes weeks for me to feel comfortable being alone in the house after he leaves for work. Every noise is a cause to be suspicious. I just lay in bed in a sort of paralysis, waiting for the next noise. Tonight, I decided to bring one of the phones in the bedroom, along with a charger. I don't know why I haven't done it before. It's not infrequent that I feel uncomfortable without a line to the outside world and bring the phone with me to bed. Now it can just stay in here. The next time I hear a strange noise, I won't have to come to the realization that I didn't bring the phone with me that night. When this baby is born, Shawn is taking a week off work. I'll be glad to have him home again, not just for the help but also for the security of just knowing he's there next to me. It also means, I will have to get used to him being gone again after that week. My hope is that I'm so exhausted that it won't be so hard to sleep without him.

I am so hungry right now. I really want to eat something. Why won't I? The heartburn isn't worth it when I know I'll be going to sleep soon. In the evenings, I can't eat even a cracker without wanting to throw up an hour or so afterwards. *sigh* Sleep may not come easily. That's the second set of sirens to go past my house in the last several hours. There have been several home invasions over the last few weeks. Yet another reason to have trouble sleeping. The only solace in all of it, most of the offenders have been caught. There's always another to take their place however. I'm going to be tossing and turning for the next few hours I think. And there's another siren...

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