Evan's birth

I figure while I have a moment, I'll try and post this whole birth story. Jasmine is watching cartoons and Evan is sleeping pretty good for the first time today.

I woke up around 1am on the 20th feeling very crampy. I knew they were contractions but they weren't real strong and they were only lasting about 15 seconds or so, at least that I could feel. I found out once I got to the hospital that they were starting before I could even feel them and ending after I could feel them. I watched some tv with my daughter, talked to my mom and got some things together in case I was going to need to go to the hospital anytime soon. My husband left for work around 4am and by then I was having a contraction every 20 minutes or so and they still weren't very strong. An hour went by and I was talking to my brother and told him they were starting to get worse and closer together. I eventually decided to call my husband and tell him he needed to get the process going of getting off the line and coming home. It took him an hour and in that time, I was beginning to get very uncomfortable. Jasmine and I just sat watching tv during this time and I kept writing down when I would have a contraction. When my husband got here, they were ten minutes apart and within a half hour or so, we left for my mom's. When we got there, they were less than five minutes apart. I broke down and called my OB to find out when he would like me to come in. I had been putting off leaving my daughter for as long as possible and even after he told me to come in, I still was dragging my feet. I got to the hospital around 8am. There was no nurse at the desk and no triage nurse around. Someone who wasn't yet working, took us to a triage room and then the nurse came and hooked me up to the machines to see when I was having contractions and to keep an eye on Evan's heart rate. I was told it would be a little while before the OB (hospital, not my own) would be in to look at me because she was in a c-section. I don't know what the hell went wrong in that surgery but she never came. My triage nurse eventually took it upon herself (thank you woman!!!) to check me and send me to labor and delivery. At that time I was around 4cm and in a ton of pain. It's funny how when you're in labor it seems like you go from mild contractions to break some one's arm contractions. I'm fairly certain that my nurse was new, if not to nursing then at least to that hospital. There was another nurse that was telling her how to chart things and whatnot. They knew I was going to be getting an epidural so they wanted to get my IV started. When I told Julie, the new nurse, that I tend to have issues with needles, she got the other nurse to stick me. She was fast at it, thankfully and I never felt anything, not even the numbing medication. I still hadn't been given anything for pain at this time. They were trying to get an anesthesiologist in to give me my epidural but he was in c-sections for at least an hour. I was starting to feel a little panicked and thought for sure I was going to have to give birth without drugs as it felt like to me, he was going to be born any second with the pain I was in. Finally, they decided to give me some Nubain and I shit you not, the second all of that drug was in my IV, the anesthesiologist came in and said he had a moment and could give me the epidural. I really don't like the drug Nubain but was willing to take whatever they could give me for pain. I tend to... hallucinate pretty easily with drugs and Nubain is one of those that makes me bug out. There were several times in the four hours after I was given the drug that I thought there were bugs crawling on me and was certain that I had stopped breathing, despite the fact that I could hear myself breathing. At any rate, I was so high off the Nubain that my epidural was easy, besides the fact that I really couldn't focus on anything that anyone was saying to me. The guy was really cool as well, which was awesome considering the anesthesiologists that I've had in the past have been... not nice. And then there was immediate pain relief. No pain at all, whatsoever. Right before I got the epidural, my OB came in to check me and I was almost 6cm. That was around 10am, I want to say. I tried to sleep over the next few hours but it never happened. As I said, I was flipping out thinking I was some how suffocating and actually told the nurse that I felt funny. My husband was able to get a little bit of sleep but he felt bad sleeping if I was awake. I tried my best to pretend to be asleep. Eventually, I started feeling... uncomfortable. It was barely noticeable at first but was starting to get worse with every passing minute. I began pushing the button to give me more of the epidural but it wasn't doing anything. I told my nurse that it wasn't working and she began to get the anesthesiologist back. By this time, a new OB was on and came in to check me. I was at 9cm, almost 10 so he went to go get changed into scrubs. My nurse asked me if I was feeling pain or pressure and I lied. I knew if I said pressure, she wouldn't let me get more of the epidural and I would have to deliver with all at least some of my nerves feeling pain. My OB already didn't want me to have anymore drugs as he didn't believe I could push Evan out in a timely fashion if I was completely numb to feeling. The anesthesiologist got in the room and pushed more drugs into my back just in time for my OB to walk into the room and frown. ;) The next time the OB checked me, I was at 10cm and the head was down as far as it would go on it's own. He still didn't believe I could push without feeling anything, despite the fact that I did it with my daughter. We did a "practice" push and I did a good enough job that he could see the baby's hair. I wanted to stick my tongue out at him. I pushed for 15 minutes before he was born. I had similar bleeding problems this time as I did with Jasmine but not to the same extent. I was given two full bags of pitocin after he was born as well as a shot of some drug that makes me sick to my stomach. (I'm still feeling the effects of it today, over a week later) He stayed with us from the time he was born, 3:57pm, till about 7pm that night. My mom brought my daughter up to visit during that time. Jasmine was kind of iffy about the whole thing and just wanted to go back to my mom's house. That's about it. I'm sure I left out a few things here and there but you get the idea. ;)

A week gone by

A week ago I was crying in a hospital room by myself. I thought that moment would never end and I'd never be home. Funny how all other moments pass by so quickly and those other, awful times seem to drag by. When you really want it to be the other way around. The good moments to slow down and take their time, while the misery speeds by. Evan is doing well when he doesn't have a gassy tummy. Jasmine is... about the same as she was before he was born although you can tell she is paying attention to who I am spending my time with and doing the math in her head. I've been doing my best to spend more time with her than with him but it's going to get more difficult now that my husband is going back to work tomorrow. She'll adjust but it's going to be hard on everyone. And to answer the questions, there is no one to help me besides my MIL and I'd rather gnaw off a finger or two. I had to be on my own eventually, might as well get it over and done with. I'll post pictures of him soon. I just don't have very good ones on my camera so I'm hoping to get some off my mom's camera, which turned out better. Other than that, I'm feeling better this time around than I did with my daughter. I was in pain for weeks after I had her. With Evan, I have to remind myself to slow down or else I'm in pain later as my body just isn't ready to return to life as normal. My only real complaint is my chest hurts almost all the time. He sniffles and it hurts. If my husband is feeding him in the other room, I wake up because my chest is hurting. It's weird. I'm not breastfeeding so I'm just waiting for these things to go down. And then I'll be able to take hot showers again.

Panic

I can't help but feel panic at the thought of my husband going back to work on Wednesday. I wonder how I will ever stay sane. Evan doesn't sleep for me. When you put him in his bed, he wakes up every fifteen minutes. He sleeps great anywhere else but not there. I don't want him to be in the habit of sleeping in a bouncer or some place else. It makes it really hard to get them to sleep where they're supposed to later on. I would know. And yet, it's the only way we can get him to sleep for any period of time. I have only slept a total of two hours during the same time he's asleep since he's been home. The rest of the time I've been able to sleep has been when I wake my husband up in the morning to take him for me. By the time I wake up, it's as if my brain has been in a full panic throughout my sleep and I wake up feeling the same. I immediately started crying this morning when I walked out in the living room and told my husband I was sorry and I just don't know how I'm going to do it. It's not too hard to think things will be ok in the middle of the day but first thing in the morning and in the evening, I feel totally freaked out. I don't know how I would've gotten through the last few days if my husband hadn't been able to stay home. Oh and I can't sleep when the baby sleeps like I did with my daughter. Why? Because I have to watch my daughter if she's awake. She may not purposely hurt Evan but she can be clumsy when she gets playing and easily hurt him. She can also hurt him on accident just because she doesn't understand how delicate babies are and that they can't eat anything except their bottles. By the way, I've still been reading all of your blogs but I doubt I'll be commenting much over the next few weeks. I'm still visiting however.

Evan Keith

Evan Keith was born on 1-20-09 at 3:57pm. He was 7lbs. 11oz. and 20 1/2 inches long. We're all home now and doing well. He looks a lot like Jasmine did as a baby. I was in labor for 15 hours, which is still better than the 28 with Jasmine. I did have a little problem with bleeding again but they got it stopped without the massive panic they had the last time. Every single person I encountered while during my hospital stay was awesome. Last night was a little rough being away from Jasmine. Particularly when she got on the phone sobbing and begged me to come home. I cried for hours after that, even though I knew she had stopped and was playing with the dog. I'll explain more after we've had a little more rest. I've had nine hours of sleep total in 4 days so nothing I say can be held against me. ;)

Going to go to my mom's soon. Don't know how long it will be after that before I go to the hospital. I'm having good contractions about every 10 minutes now. It's really hard to not let on to my daughter that I'm in pain. Every once and a while she seems to know something is up but not enough to ask. She just looks at me funny. My poor husband. I sent him to work and before the bell even rang for him to start working, I called him home. This is almost the exact same way it happened when I was in labor with Jasmine. Send him to work and call him back.

Tiny Update

Still at home. Contractions have slowed. Time will tell I suppose.

Finally

In labor but not sure how long it will be before I go to the hospital. I didn't even know I was having contractions till I got to my OB's office and was hooked up to the machine. I'm now 3cm and completely effaced. My OB thinks I'll be in tonight at labor and delivery... I hope not as the one doctor I really didn't want to see is the one on call tonight. Right now I'm just uncomfortable every so often. I probably still wouldn't know that I was in labor if I hadn't went it because I feel more crampy than in labor. I suppose I should get a bag together for the hospital.

Toxic

I don't have much to say today but I keep meaning to post something on this before I forget. (but I keep forgetting... haha) A couple nights ago, several of my dogs became sick and I assumed it was from the chili peppers. A day or so later, my mom was reading an article and found that it wasn't the peppers at all. (although I'm sure they didn't help) Turns out, onions are extremely toxic to dogs. The enchiladas I made were supposed to have an entire onion in them. Luckily, I don't like onions so I used less than half of an onion. They also only got a very small amount of the food mixed in with their dinner as what we didn't eat, went to work with my husband the next day. There were probably very few pieces of onion in the food and yet, it still upset their bodies. My mom read in the article that the amount of onions that come on a whopper are enough to cause toxicity in a medium sized dog. So if you have dogs, or plan to have some in the future, onions are a no-no. I'm sure I read something on it before and thought why the hell would you give a dog an onion? I won't forget it again.

Don't read while eating, I'm serious

I'm going to try and quickly explain my labor/delivery with my daughter again since it's been... geez, almost four years since it all happened. It will give you newbie's an idea as to why my family might be a little nervous about the upcoming delivery. Ok, so I doubt it will be as quick as I want it to be but I only said I'd try. ;)

I started having contractions at 4am on the 9th of June, 2005. I woke up my mom and she said go to bed. haha They weren't bad at that time and was more uncomfortable than anything. I finished packing my hospital bag (which I have yet to do with this pregnancy... and quite frankly when I was in labor was when I packed the last one... my husband says that's why I'm still pregnant, I never do anything on time) and went to bed. My husband was at work and I decided not to call him and freak him out. I woke up the next day after only about six hours of sleep and just didn't feel very good. The contractions were still there but I was in pain pretty much the entire day. There didn't seem to be an end to one contraction, it was just never ending. I called my OB around 1pm, still on the 9th and told them what was happening and that I was having a small amount of bleeding. I was told it was probably just from my exam the day before. I knew better but for whatever reason, doctor's offices never seem to listen to me. I don't remember doing much that entire day. I know I stayed in my mom's room for several hours, just laying on her bed and waiting for the day to end. I felt sick, not really in labor. At some time during the day, I had the sense to take a shower but to be honest, I don't remember it or when I did it. I don't remember a lot from those 48 hours or so. As the day wore on, I started having more pain and getting a fever. Eventually I believe it got to around 101. I sent my husband to work, figuring I would still be in labor for a long time. The pain was there but it's not like I was in immense pain and I had no plans of going to the hospital until I, at the very least, couldn't talk through a contraction. We (me and my mom) called my doctor's office to tell them that I had a fever and was having irregular contractions. He had me drink a large glass of water and lay on my left side but told me if the contractions became regular and within 5 minutes of each other, that I should come in. The fever didn't seem to be a big concern to him. When my husband made it to work, he called home and asked my mom how I was doing. She told him he may want to consider turning around and coming back. I now know that he drove at a ridiculous speed to get back in the short amount of time it took him to make what should've been at least a half hour drive. By the time he got to the house, I was having regular contractions and waking the dead with the amount of noise I was making. My brother looked a little green and probably thought I was going to drop the kid right there on the living room couch. One minute I told them we wouldn't be going anywhere for a while, as I still didn't feel I was in an adequate amount of pain and the next I was basically shoving their asses into the car. They did the routine stuff when we first got to the hospital and the first nurse I had sucked. Thankfully I only had her long enough to put a gown on and answer a few questions. The nurse that would be sticking me with needles throughout the night was an absolute angel. I can honestly say, I could not have had a better nurse. I was at 3cm when I was admitted (the day before I hadn't even been at 1cm) so I still wasn't at the point where I was allowed the pain relieving epidural. (drug from the gods) Don't think I wasn't begging for it though. I think I was nearly to 5cm when the doctor from hell came and stuck me in the back. He hit something he wasn't supposed to (I couldn't exactly see but my husband told me later, that blood came back into the needle instead of clear fluid) and he had to start over. I don't think the guy was gone very long when I told my nurse (in what to me sounded like a panicked voice) that I could still feel pain. She called in a doctor from home... at 3am. By the time he got there, I was extremely doped up and don't remember much other than the dude was pissed to be called in for what appeared to be no reason. He, not wanting to get another phone call, shot me up a second time. From that point on, I slept on and off. The only time I woke up was when the nurse told me I needed to roll over (the baby was having heart decels) or when I heard the monitor making the noises telling me she would be in to check me again. I was awakened to, 'Let's check and see where you're at. Oh, 10cm, time to start pushing.' And I was also aware of a weird smell in the room. My water had broken just before the doctor came in to check me. (yes my water waited to break until I was fully dilated) My mom and Shawn both said the smell was like something dead and they'll never forget it. My senses were a little dull I guess. I pushed for an hour before Jasmine was born at 7am on June 10th. (28 hours of labor) We had been told my entire pregnancy that I was having a boy. So when my jokster OB said it's a beautiful baby girl, my Mexican huband turned a shade of pale unknown to him. (my entire pregnancy he was saying he doesn't "make" girls, only boys... whatever buddy) It was about this time that things started to take a turn for the worst. There was a resident doctor who had never witnessed a birth from the time mom was admitted, to the time baby was born. He was in the room but hadn't really done anything except watch. (which is a good thing because I may have told him under no uncertain terms to step away from my who-ha or else... it would've been a meek threat considering I couldn't move from the waist down) My doctor told him to help remove the placenta. Dr. Doogie then told my doctor 'It won't come out.' I felt bad for the guy. He sounded pathetic and as if he felt like the biggest idiot ever. My doctor had just ended his 12 hours on call and I think he was a little snippy by then. 'Well, it has to come out.' What I heard was more along of the lines of 'Jesus you're an idiot.' ;) Alarms were going off in my brain but they were far away, nothing that made me wonder what that meant. My OB removed the placenta and then the blood came... and didn't stop. You see, when you have a baby, your body continues to contract afterwards. The contractions are there to close the blood vessels that were once attached to the placenta. If you uterus stops contracting, you bleed uncontrollably and without some kind of intervention, you die. My uterus had become severely infected by the time Jasmine was born. We have no idea how it happened, it just did. I was bleeding to death. And I was so doped up that I was pretty unaware of it. You could tell the mood in the room changed quickly and I noticed that my husband kept looking at my mom, over and over again. No one was saying anything to me though. I was being stuck in my legs with needles and I to this day, have no clue what was in those needles but there were a lot of them. It seemed they'd try one drug and it wouldn't work, so they'd shoot me up with something else. I remember thinking 'I have the effin' IV, why don't they use that instead of sticking me?' (remember I have an extreme needle phobia) I don't know how much blood I lost or what caused the bleeding to stop. I do know that at one point and time my OB's arm was in my uterus forcing it to contract. Yeah, try and get that image out of my husband's head. And suddenly, I remember very little from that point on. I vaguely remember getting stitched up, and remember that it took forever. I don't remember holding my daughter for the first time. The only image I have of her in those first few hours was after she had the goop put in her eyes and remembering why it was there. There are pictures of me holding her and smiling like a drugged up hippie at Woodstock. But I have no memory of holding her or those pictures being taken. (later I asked what the hell my mom and husband were thinking letting me touch her at all when I was clearly out of it... apparently their hands were never far from her little body) The next time I woke up, there was a nurse over me telling me she needed to check my fever. I don't remember what it was but I know I had one. (they checked every single hour that day) The next thing she said was that I had given them quite a scare and they were starting to wonder when I would wake up. (it was 1pm the same day that she was born... they had been trying to get me to wake up the entire day) Eventually, I was able to make it to the bathroom on my own... and glance in the mirror. It looked like my face had been beat to hell. The infection had spread so fast through my body that it left my cheeks bright red. When my mom came back to the hospital that day the first words out of her mouth were 'what the hell happened to your face.' And it was pretty much the same thing I asked the nurse. ;) I was on IV antibiotics for two days and they never stopped bothering me with thermometers, blood pressure checks and changing my IV bags. I hated the night nurse the most. Young girl who was entirely too chipper for 3am and who was also waking me up over and over again. I wanted to pull the IV out of my arm and stab her with it... repeatedly. By the 11th or 12th (I can't remember which day) I was begging to be let out. Let me go home. I'll do anything, just let me the hell out of here. I was eventually granted my walking papers at 9pm. And given large doses of antibiotics to be taken at home. A few weeks later, I got another infection. In my boob. And was put on more antibiotics. I would be on antibiotics three different times for different infections after I left the hospital. The only time I've been prescribed them since, was when I got an infected cat bite. Oh and they gave them to me for the rat bite as well but I don't remember taking them... it had been days since I'd been bitten by then. Both of the doctors I trust the most say that they've never seen a person get that infection twice so I shouldn't worry too much about it. It was enough of a concern after Jasmine was born however, that I wasn't sure I wanted to ever risk being pregnant again. Now that I've done some research, I know that if the bleeding had stopped soon, I would've been off to surgery and may have lost my uterus completely, if not died. So that's the story, as best as I can remember it anyways. ;) I know, that wasn't quick or short. But now you're up to speed.

The days, I forget them

I figure I should write something on here today so you all don't think I've actually gone into labor. You know, as if that would happen. I have a killer headache today. I should feel lucky. I went about four months without a single headache. (I did, however have a headache every day for two months straight between June and August) But a headache is a headache and it hurts just as much if I have one every day as it would if I didn't have one for a long time. If I wasn't pregnant, I would take a cute shaped pill and like magic, the pain would go away but I can't take those while I'm pregnant. I'm stuck with tylenol. (and by the way, those pills are for migraines, it's not like vicodin or anything) I think a lot of it is the weather. It's so dry and I broke our humidifier last winter so my nose is paying the price. I feel a little like I've been snorting sand straight up to my brain. I don't recommend it.

Wasn't it just last weekend I swore I would never go to Walmart on a Saturday ever again? It wasn't till my husband mocked me on our way there today that I realized that it was Saturday and I did it two weeks in a row. I was in a hurry so I don't think people bothered me as much. Or maybe they just weren't that bad this time around. I wanted to get what I needed and get to my mom's for dinner. Normally I don't mind a little bit of browsing. (I don't get out much, I'll take browsing where I can get it) I'm going to claim that I won't do it again but I'm probably lying. We try not to go anywhere on Sundays, unless it's to my mom's for dinner (it's what we call our lazy day) and if I go anywhere on Friday's, it's to the mall and with another kid coming eventually, Saturday's are the only weekend day left.

Joe The Plumber

Wow

It's currently -17 here with a wind chill of -34. Yeah, it's effin' cold. The kind of cold that sucks the breath straight from your lungs. I only had to go out in it for a second but it was long enough. The extreme cold seems to have messed with our garage door and it keeps opening on it's own. The first time, I woke my husband up to go shut the thing but after that I felt bad waking him up again. It didn't help that I was seriously pissed at the dogs the first time around. I walked into the backroom to start grabbing bowls for their dinner and find that all of the aussie's have had nasty, disgusting, make-you-gag diarrhea. Word of advice, don't feed your dogs human food which contains chili peppers. Cash threw up last night (doberman) and then the aussie's get major sick today, I don't think it's a coincidence. I know I'll never make that mistake again.

I'm sick of being pregnant in a major way. My skin is stretched so tight that if anything touches it, I start to bleed. And the muscles under that skin? They hurt constantly. If Jasmine tries to touch my belly (which she does a LOT), I flinch. They're stretched and the baby is kicking them all the time and of course I seem to use my stomach as a bumper car. Every day, inducing seems like less and less of a bad idea. I just don't like the statistics on the rate of c-sections that happen when they attempt to induce.

A peek at my crazy

Beth's post today at Nutwood Junction (http://nutwoodjunction.blogspot.com/) got me thinking about the person I used to be. The person that only those extremely close to me "really" got to witness. I was needy, clingy and unstable. I had always had issues with being a little too... leach-like with boyfriends but my poor husband got the worst of it all. I'm sure some of it was hormonal, I was only 16 when we started dating but the rest of it was pure crazy. The first year or two, he was almost as obsessed (also known as in love) with me as I was with him. He didn't seem to mind that I would always be calling him and it was particularly evident for when I wasn't the one calling, he was. We were always together... always. The first several years we were together, we never spent a single full day apart from each other. At the time I thought it was romantic, now I realize, it was unhealthy, for both of us. I couldn't stand to be away from him for any period of time, to the point that I became truant at school and eventually, expelled. I was allowed to return for the second semester but chose to drop out rather than be away from my beloved. He didn't want me to but he didn't exactly push the issue either. As I said, at that time, the obsession was pretty mutual. As the years went on however, and the newness of the relationship wore off, he wanted what any normal person wants. Some time to think, relax and just be themselves without that other person constantly there. There were numerous threats that if I didn't change, he didn't know if he could handle it and that he might leave. I didn't change and to be honest, I wasn't really trying at that time. If he wanted to go out with his friends, I would sob uncontrollably and say he didn't want me anymore or he wanted to be with his friends more than with me, etc. He would almost always cancel his plans with his friends, usually at the last minute. I could control the crazy until it was within hours of being without him and then it would all come out, hence many last minute cancellations. I didn't have many of my own friends by the second year. I only wanted to be with him and if I was without him, I was a miserable mess that no one wanted to be around. I remember the first time I left the house and he stayed behind. It was on a trip with my mom to Walmart. I cried almost the entire way there. I was absolutely pathetic. That first outing however, showed me that I would not, in fact die, as I felt I would without him by my side. There were other times I would leave with my mom and go out. A day came when my husband got a job that would take him away from me for a full 30 days. It was 30 days of training and there was no way I could go with him. I thought I would be ok and I told myself over and over that everything would be fine. The morning we drove him to the bus station however, I was worse than I'd ever been. I threatened everything in the book to try to get him to stay. I told him I would hurt myself if he left, that I would stop eating, that I couldn't be without him. Knowing all along that I was hurting him, I continued on with it, begging, crying and pleading. He left anyway. I'm sure it was one of the harder things he's had to do. I survived. I found that I was ok after the first night. The second night, even better. I missed him, of course but I didn't feel that weight crushing down on me, the impending doom, that I feared would always be there if he wasn't. He called at least once a night, when he could. He was miserable. I knew he wanted to come home. I don't know if I made it harder or easier on him by not being a complete mess as I'm sure he assumed I would be each and every time he called. I think it was day seven that he called me and said that he was coming home. Not only did he miss home but he was quickly finding out that all the promises they had made to him beforehand, were more maybe's than would be's. By that time he was in Kentucky. It was the middle of the night and we had no money to send him back via the bus again. Luckily, we have friends literally all over the country. A friend in Louisville drove him to the Indiana border and then a friend that lives near Indianapolis picked him up and drove him back to their house. We drove the rest of the way and brought him home. I was happy to have him home but even happier that it had all happened. It was the beginning of a huge change for me. That's not to say I immediately was a normal girlfriend who wasn't afraid to let her boyfriend out of her sight for more than a few minutes but I was loosening up, little by little. It's taken a really long time, many years but now I think I'm the wife that my husband wished I would've been back then. I frequently tell him I don't know how he did it. I don't know if I could've put up with that for so long. (it was at least four years of full blown crazy) During those years, I also had horrible mood swings. (later diagnosed as depression) I would get extremely angry for no reason based on little comments made to me. My husband wasn't the only one getting the brunt of that however, my mom and brother suffered my angry tirades as well. I don't know how anyone put up with me. Nowadays, my husband asks to go out with his friends but to be considerate, not to get the type of permission he was asking for back then. And so long as it doesn't interfere with something we had already planned, my answer is 'ok when will you be home?' It's a change that I think some are still getting used to. But good god is it nice not to have that weight on me all the time. The fear of him leaving, of not being good enough. It completely consumed my every thought. It was like having a fear of breathing, of your heart beating because it was always there. To be free of that... is like being given a second chance to really live your life. To really be happy without those boundaries.

Brrrrr... oh wait, I have hot flashes, not so much brrrr anymore

It's cold. It's going to get colder. A mere -2 right now. I have to put Rocky out at some point. I think I'll wait till after Shawn leaves as it's supposed to warm up to 4 by then. Gee, I just can't wait to walk out in 4 degree temperature to chain up the pit bull, only to turn around five minutes later to let him back in (hoping in that amount of time his paws haven't frozen solid to the ground... and really hoping he doesn't choose tonight to try to lick something metal... it's something he would do) and be yanked back to the door by the leash. I used to be the nice one. I would let him out without a leash or tie out and just watch him. He only jumps the fence right by the back door, so as long as I stand there and keep an eye on him, he's not going anywhere. I could stand in front of the picture window and allow him some freedom. However, he has recently decided that he will NOT come to me when I call him. I end up, nine months pregnant (and counting) out in the snow, making my best attempt at faking happiness to get him to come to me, when what I really want to do is yank him up by his collar and drag him back in the house. Now the only time he's able to go off leash is on days when it's not quite so frigid.

The honeymoon is over. As soon as the full moon hit, Jasmine changed back into her normal, less sweet self. Yesterday was full blown attitude. Today, it's been more of a not listening thing. You honestly feel like you're talking to a wall or that she suddenly went deaf. There were a couple of times today where I actually asked if she heard me because she showed absolutely no reaction at all when I would speak. A few minutes ago, I very nicely told her to be quiet because daddy is sleeping... less than a minute later she howled like a wolf... inches from daddy's head. *sigh* She even cupped her hands around her mouth to make sure the sound carried. (it's Harry Potters fault... in one of the movies the little girl howls to save stupid Harry's life... now my kid does it all. the. time.) I'm trying (really I am) to keep my patience and not wring her neck.

The kid really picked a bad day to purposely be irking me. And it's making me try even harder to be nice but I've failed quite a few times at it today. I've been getting very frustrated over the last few weeks and I didn't even realize it. I've become a person that I normally bitch about and if nothing else, pity. I've been letting people walk all over me for a while now. No matter what is said to me, I don't really respond to it. I always have an excuse for myself... I don't feel like arguing at that time... don't want to fight with that person right now... it's just easier to let it go. I need to stop it. It's making me a very bitchy person and I think it's part of what my problem has been these last two weeks in particular. Now it's a matter of just doing it and stopping making excuses as to why I just let it all slide. It should help when I go back on my pretty pink pills after this kid is born. ;)

Chances you believe

Definitely whilst watching sports. ;)

A lot of pain with only a little progress

Today was my due date. (the 12th) I had an OB appointment. I figured I would've made a lot of progress with the amount of pain I've been experiencing in my nether regions. Not so much. Only 1cm dilated and 75% effaced. I was betting on 3cm. My next appointment isn't till next Thursday, at which time I'll have a nonstress test to watch the baby's heart rate for twenty minutes. On that day, they will schedule me to be induced for sometime the week of the 25th. Here I was worried I would have a baby really close to Christmas and it's getting closer to February everyday. The doctor I saw today thought it was neat that I had Jasmine on her due date. It doesn't happen often. And it's apparently not going to happen again, at least not for me.

After my extremely uncomfortable exam, (hey doc, stop trying to exam my tonsils from there!) I went out to dinner with my mom. We had some really greasy, very bad for you food at a local bar/restaurant. When I got home, I put together a wire dog crate that my mom is letting us use. Good thing I've done a few of them in the past since this one is old enough that the instructions are lost somewhere, probably in a garbage bag far away. Savannah now has the wire crate that she has so been wanting. (she had started refusing to go into any other crate if it wasn't a wire) Soon they'll all have rubber mats in their crates as well. Shawn was able to get some really expensive mats from his work that they were getting rid of... for free! He's going to cut them all to size and put them in the crates. We've tried giving them dog beds and padding at various times. Cash pees on anything soft. (minutes after putting it into his crate) Rocky and the other dogs eat anything edible that is put into their crates. The rubber mats will give them something softer than the crate bottoms to sleep on and are solid enough that I don't think the dogs will be able to chew them. (the guy told Shawn today that the mats are $1200 new so they're pretty heavy duty) Now only two of the dogs have travel crates and Rocky prefers the travel crates over wire. Molly is only in a crate when we leave the house so I think she can handle it.

They're calling for snow. A lot of snow. We're under a blizzard watch and a winter storm warning... until Thursday. It doesn't sound like the amount of snow we'll be getting is what is causing concern, it's the wind. It's supposed to get pretty bad over the next few days, causing snow drifts. (mainly across MY driveway... stupid hay field next door allows the wind and snow to just keep coming) Plus, we may have a low of -13 overnight in a couple of days. Ick. I REALLY hope I don't go into labor any of those days. I can wait the extra couple of days rather than drive through a blizzard.

Missin' my colorful world

I have to apologize for my lack of commenting on some blogs recently. Or at the very least the lack of me in the comments I'm leaving. I've been in a funk for the last two weeks or so. It could be that I'm sick of this pregnancy and ready for it to be done or other things that are just piling up. Maybe it's the winter. I miss the sun. And GREEN on the trees. Oooooh and pretty flowers. I would go buy some indoor flowers but as most my family is aware, I torture them and then kill them. My husband bought me a rose last Valentine's Day and I kid you not, I've managed to kill the thing three times and bring it back to life twice. We're still waiting to see if it will survive my last attempt at it's death. It's a good thing we plan to sell this house some day because it's this time of year that I would lose my mind and paint the walls lime green or something just as odd in order to bring some color back into the dull winter months. (and I have been known to do odd things to the house in the winter... like suddenly ripping all the paneling off the walls of one of the bedrooms one night... they're still bare and need new paneling) Worse months are to come, in my opinion. I hate spring. Spring isn't pretty until it's almost summer. The kid's books always show pictures of new flowers and trees budding in Spring. They leave out the pictures of rain and mud, more rain, lots more mud. Yuck. I really should've been born in a different part of the country. ;) My favorite part of winter is here and gone. The only colorful part. Christmas. Pretty lights were everywhere. I was one of the last people in my neighborhood to turn off all my lights. I had left on a set in one of the windows till about last weekend. (my tree however was taken a part the day after Christmas... mostly because it was VERY much so starting to look the part of a dead tree)

I'm also going through some bitchin' hot flashes. I never, ever want to go through menopause. It may seem selfish that my husband is forced to shiver night after night because I turn the heat down repeatedly but he can put some more blankets on. I, however, would be naked if I removed any more clothing. My only option is turn down the heat. We are supposed to have a high of 5 two days in the next week. A HIGH of 5. Because of how hot I always am, I'm almost looking forward to it. It will make the house seem a whole lot cooler than when the high is 28. I swear, there are times I think I could plunge my face into the snow outside and it would all rapidly melt away as steam poured from my face. And I would still be hot. ;)

General chitter chatter

For a fairly boring day, it was quite enjoyable. Even though Saturday is apparently idiot day at the local Walmart. (your side of town Beth) We do half of our grocery shopping at Walmart, basically the stuff that you can get anywhere, we buy there. Now when it comes to meats, cheeses and such, we normally go to either the meat market just down the road (all the meat comes from local farms and I find that reassuring) or to a grocery store that is located only in this area. (correct me if I'm wrong Beth, but Martin's is locally owned and operated?) I was so glad to be out of Walmart tonight. I must have said to my husband a dozen times that we will never, ever go there on a Saturday again. To me, it's always extremely stressful to be surrounded by morons. I just don't deal with it very well. And these were inconsiderate morons, making matters worse. At least I was able to get most of the ingredients I needed for the chicken enchiladas I'll be attempting to make this week.

After we made it home, I made tacos for dinner. We haven't had them in a while since neither me, nor my husband are huge fans but we were really in need of a change of pace for dinner. Jasmine was definitely NOT a fan and when we make them in the future, I'll have to make her something else. (I don't cater to my kid at dinner but I'm not going to force her to eat something that she so obviously did not like) Afterwards, I made some hot fudge sauce (for the first time) and we all had ice cream. Even Jasmine liked the hot fudge. Next time I'll use a little more chocolate but other than that, I thought it was much better than the store bought stuff. I love being able to make my own food (rather than buy a jar of something and heat it up) but it's always more expensive that way. At least I really KNOW what I'm eating when I make it myself.

Normally, I don't do this but if you get a chance, I really think you ought to check out Ken's most recent blog. It makes some really good points about dealing with changes that occur in life. I think far too often, a major change happens in someone's life and they don't deal with it properly. Most often, it seems to affect marriages. I've heard of many marriages going to hell the first year after having a baby for example. The first year with a screaming crying baby is hell. I always tell people not to give up on their marriage that first year because it's GOING to be hard. It's not easy dealing with changes and nothing ever goes exactly as you plan it to. You just have to roll with the punches and deal with what may come in the best way you can. Sometimes it's easier to bail but it's not usually the right thing to do. More often than not, the hard decision is the right one. So, go visit Ken at Bucko's World http://buckoclown.blogspot.com/.

Surprises all around

I know am fairly sure that it was a trash company who tossed all our recycling. When I looked out the window at about 4pm, the recycling was gone. I can't see the recycling company guys tipping our stuff over just so they would have to pick it up later. Our trash company isn't happy with us at the moment and did something similar with our trash last week but I had forgotten all about it till today. If anything like this happens next week, I don't care how much more we have to pay, we'll be switching trash services. It's like dealing with spoiled, pissy little kids. Well, your bill is late so we're going to knock your shit over so you have to come out and pick it up. Do they train these guys to do this? For now, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that a snow plow came by, threw all of our recycling and then neatly tipped the bins upside down. Hmpf. When the doctor's office called me back to reschedule my appointment, they were surprisingly nice and I go in on Monday... in the afternoon. ;))) Like I said, I'd never had that issue with them before so I had no idea how they would handle it. My regular doctor's office receptionists want it in blood as to the exact reason why you missed your appointment and why you didn't call them to let them know. Seriously, I think a note from the ER stating you had been in an auto accident and were bleeding to death (an accident you got into on your way to their office for your appointment) would not be a good enough excuse for that place. I'm all for taking blame for screwing up and not making excuses for what I may or may not do but sometimes, shit happens. One good thing came out of missing the appointment... I didn't sleep all day. I had to first wait for them to call me back and then I was super pissed about the recycling incident so I couldn't fall asleep for a nap. When I finally did, it was only for about twenty minutes, tops. It was nice to be awake for a while, for once but it sucked only having about four hours sleep.

I suppose there are worse ways to start the day

We lost power this morning. Normally that wouldn't make any difference to me one way or another as long as it stayed warm in the house long enough for it to come back on. Normally, I have no reason to get up early in the morning. This morning, I had a doctor's appointment. This morning, the alarm didn't go off. I've never had a no call, no show to this place before in all the years I've been going. I don't know what their policy is on it. With my regular doctor, you get two missed appointments and then you're completely cut from their office. I don't think it really matters what the reason was for missing the appointment. I know with them as I've received a warning because I had missed two appointments in a TEN YEAR period. Yeah, ten years ago, I was 16. In my opinion, my record should be wiped clean on my 18 birthday. I mean, hell, if I had done something illegal (so long as it wasn't murder) it would've been wiped clean on that day. Any way, I called the office and left a message to re-schedule. I'm sure they will make re-scheduling as difficult as possible. Kind of a you didn't think our time was important so we no longer think yours is either thing. I don't like the appointment people at this place right now either. Most of them a new and either follow the rule book to a T or don't know what the hell their doing at all. Now to be honest, I REALLY didn't want to go to this appointment in the first place. For starters, it was an early appointment, strike one for the appointment and on top of everything, we got several inches of snow since about 8am this morning. I don't drive well on little sleep to begin with, throw in a good amount of snow and you're just asking to have me hit your vehicle. (not that I ever have but I'm not very optimistic of my driving in this weather) When I got up, I looked out the window to see if it had, in fact, snowed as they were calling for and saw that my recycling containers had been VERY deliberately knocked over. We have a new company that is supposed to pick up recycling. It's already been a nightmare with them. They were supposed to drop off new bins (96 gallon bins, in comparison to the 18 gallon bins we currently have) and they never did. Supposedly, we should have those by the next pick up date. And I have heard other people complain that if the recycling isn't put out EXACTLY as they specify, they won't take it. Apparently, ours wasn't what they specified and instead of just leaving it in the bins, they tossed it ALL out into our yard and then tipped our bins upside down as if to get their point across that we are dumbshit customers. Oh, and I have no choice as to WHO picks up my recycling, it's something done through the county. We are forced to pay to have it picked up (you have no choice, which I think forces people to do the right thing and recycle BUT and I'm getting to that), however, I think if I'm forced to pay for something, I should be able to choose which company I give my business to. The last company only screwed up once in all the years we've been doing this recycling program and yet, they were dropped and a new company replaced them. A new company who I am, so far, VERY unimpressed with. I have a feeling they will be getting a nasty phone call from my husband tonight or on Monday. In my opinion, it was very unprofessional and not a good way to start off a relationship, whether I'm paying of my own free will or not. They do this again and I will start bitching to the county on a regular basis. Now I suppose I will lay here with my daughter and watch endless amounts of cartoons until my brain totally turns to mush or I fall asleep, you know, whichever comes first. In my current condition, I'm betting on the mush.

Note to Self

Check to make sure you have all ingredients BEFORE deciding to bake something at midnight. I had everything mixed together, except for the eggs, when I realized, I only had one egg. I needed two. Oh well, I guess we'll see how chocolate chip cookies taste missing an egg. Not bad, just a little crunchy. I liked the taste of the extra brown sugar however and next time will omit 1/4 a cup of flour in place of an extra 1/4 cup of brown sugar. I had read that some other people had done similar things with similar recipes but was afraid to try taking out any flour. Now I realize, the brown sugar is worth the risk. ;) I actually wanted cupcakes tonight but I knew ahead of time that I didn't have the ingredients needed.

Being so pre-occupied with this whole pregnancy thing, I feel like I'm losing my brain. Last week, I forgot that I'd put Rocky (pit bull) outside to go potty. He was outside in the cold for four hours before my husband got up for work and let him in. (and told me the dog about gave him a heart attack... when he's excited, he runs at you and it sounds like a herd of elephants) Tonight, I completely forgot to let the dog out at all. It wasn't until I went to let everyone out for the last time (something I only do during the week as my husband gets up early enough in the morning that I don't need to do it on the weekend) at about 4am that it dawned on me that he hadn't been out. He can't go out with any of the other dogs (unless supervised and then only with the two black female dogs) so he had to wait till everyone else came back in. As I was walking out of the back room he smacked his cage with his paw as if to say 'Bitch I KNOW you're not going to leave me in this cage AGAIN.' When he was able to go out, he ended up getting his tie out tangled up around a tree and he looked so guilty as normally he's able to untangle himself.

As if you haven't gathered by now, there's still no baby and I'll be 40 weeks on Monday. I don't want to be induced but if I make it 41 weeks, they will all but force me to make the appointment to have it done. Jasmine came on her due date so I nothing to go off of with previous births. Speaking of Jasmine, another quiet day with a nice child. I'm not going to believe it's going to be that easy. Every day I've held my breath, waiting for the flood gates to open but so far, nothing. It's hard to enjoy it however, when you're always waiting.

Just Another Day

Two full days of Jasmine being nice. Minimal stomping, and screaming, very little attitude. Where's the full moon? Should I be worried that she's just finally decided she'll kill us in our sleep and be done with it? I'm sure it will all return tomorrow or the next day, but for now, I'm just happy that I haven't had to "really" yell for the last two days. My husband wondered aloud when the baby would finally come and I said "If you heard all that, would YOU be in a big hurry to be born?"

Watched Righteous Kill tonight. Can't really say anything without giving away spoilers so I'll just say it was a pretty good one and worth the watch. Appaloosa comes out next week and whether this baby is born or not, I'm making some time to watch it. I love westerns.

I was actually able to sit on the floor long enough to give Mia, the border collie a good grooming. She looks so much better without all that extra hair. (I only took off the stuff that doesn't do much for keep her warm, I left everything she needed) I would love to be able to groom my Aussies but they freak out when ever I turn on the trimmer. You'd think they were tiny horses the way they buck if it even gets near them. I can groom our flat coat retriever as long as she's had some time to chill out. Oh and I got most of Isaiah, the siamese, shaved tonight. He's not pleased with me. The cat could actually wear a small sweater around the house and still manage to look cold so he's never happy when I take away his natural coat. He has fur that is very long and sticks to everything it touches. I have to shave him occasionally or else the humans go nuts. On one occasion, my husbands female cat, Willow seemed a wee bit too smug about her friend being naked. She hasn't looked that way since, seeing as how I shaved her immediately afterwards, despite the fact that she's short haired. I've had to eliminate the poof at the end of Isaiah's tail however, as Saffron would chase it through the house endlessly. Thus, it's not quite a lion cut but close.

I'm such a whiner today

I think I'm about done. Get the hell out of me already. I'm sure it would be a nice story to have two kids born on their due dates, but really, I'm over it. I'm definitely still freaked out about leaving Jasmine for the night (or more if I go into labor at night, have the kid in the morning, they'll keep me the next night) I'll regret saying any of this when both of them refuse to sleep or they refuse to sleep at the same time but for the moment, I'm over being pregnant. I'm sick of waking up with my hips hurting, over my feet hurting constantly and definitely DONE pulling muscles just by rolling over. I want to be able to slouch again. If I even attempt a small slouch, I get the crap kicked out of me, not to mention the fact that there's just not much room for slouching. Oh and then there's the heartburn, which I didn't experience even once when I was pregnant with Jasmine. Now, to be honest, I haven't done anything to bring on labor, as I did with Jasmine. Again, it's because I'm freaked out about leaving her. I'm sure when I feel the first signs of labor I will panic at least a little bit. I don't even like leaving the kid for a few hours of shopping. Sleeping in that hospital is going to be nearly impossible as the entire time I'm going to want to be with her. At the same time, I just want my body back to myself. It's mine and I'd like to reclaim it as such. I'd like to be able to take whatever OTC drugs I want, without being forced to do online research about whether they could affect someone else living inside me. And I would like all hiccups to belong to me only. *sigh* Sorry for the complaining.

Jasmine has been, dare I say, good today. *gasp* Could she actually be well behaved for an entire day? Well, she's still awake so there's always a possibility that she could "change" suddenly. For now, she's being an angel.

I'm getting quite annoyed with the Packers Proshop. I ordered something from them on the 28th and it didn't get sent out till a few days ago, despite the fact that UPS was sent the billing information. I don't live that far from Green Bay that it should take this long for them to send it out and then for it to actually get here. I wish they would've used FedEx instead. It should be here tomorrow as it was in some hick town in Indiana this afternoon. I've gotten things from California quicker than this package is arriving. I hate waiting for things that I order. I usually just go somewhere and buy what I want, cutting out that waiting issue. This was one of the few times that wasn't possible.

Oooooooh, I just remembered, some movies come out tomorrow AND my pizza place opens back up. They were closed for the holidays since it's family owned and tomorrow, I get my pizza!!! I'm actually not a pizza person. I've never been really head over heels for the stuff but I absolutely love Rocco's pizza. We usually get the biggest pizza they have, along with an order of their garlic bread. It's usually enough to feed all three of us. Once this one growing inside of me is big enough to eat it however, we'll have to buy two. Maybe I'll tell it that it's lactose intolerant and keep it to one pizza. ;)~

The evasive sleep

Here it is 7am and I am just now getting to relax. Jasmine just would not go to sleep. When she finally fell asleep, I got up to pee and she woke up. When she wakes up, you have to start all over again trying to get her to sleep. It took two hours of trying to get her to sleep from the last time she woke up. If it happened again, I think I would just give up, put a movie on and wait till she passes out, probably several hours later. To top it off, the one that lives inside me has not stopped pushing on my innards for the last several hours. The kid is so strong that when it pushed on my back an hour or so ago, I felt and heard it pop, as if at the chiropractor. Now I'm just waiting to feel one of my ribs snap in two.

I hate when my husband goes back to work after vacation. It takes weeks for me to feel comfortable being alone in the house after he leaves for work. Every noise is a cause to be suspicious. I just lay in bed in a sort of paralysis, waiting for the next noise. Tonight, I decided to bring one of the phones in the bedroom, along with a charger. I don't know why I haven't done it before. It's not infrequent that I feel uncomfortable without a line to the outside world and bring the phone with me to bed. Now it can just stay in here. The next time I hear a strange noise, I won't have to come to the realization that I didn't bring the phone with me that night. When this baby is born, Shawn is taking a week off work. I'll be glad to have him home again, not just for the help but also for the security of just knowing he's there next to me. It also means, I will have to get used to him being gone again after that week. My hope is that I'm so exhausted that it won't be so hard to sleep without him.

I am so hungry right now. I really want to eat something. Why won't I? The heartburn isn't worth it when I know I'll be going to sleep soon. In the evenings, I can't eat even a cracker without wanting to throw up an hour or so afterwards. *sigh* Sleep may not come easily. That's the second set of sirens to go past my house in the last several hours. There have been several home invasions over the last few weeks. Yet another reason to have trouble sleeping. The only solace in all of it, most of the offenders have been caught. There's always another to take their place however. I'm going to be tossing and turning for the next few hours I think. And there's another siren...

Poor Kid

Poor Jasmine. While she was in the bath, I grabbed a doughnut from the kitchen. I had just finished eating it when she called me into the bathroom. (my husband could see her from the living room so I knew she wasn't going to drown) She wasn't in the bathtub anymore when I got in there and you could hear the panic in her voice. She had grabbed my shave gel off the sink and managed to get some of it out. Her hand must have slipped and most of it ended up on her face and in her right eye. I don't remember if I've ever gotten shave gel in my eyes before but it must hurt. I quickly got it off her face and away from her eyes but by then the burning must have kicked in. She was full out screaming. I didn't think it would last more than a minute or so but it seemed like she cried for at least five minutes. She was so upset that she was throwing up and complaining that her throat was also hurting. She was a mess. When she gets upset to that extent, I get upset. I was on the verge of crying myself. All these crazy things going through my head. I know it's pretty impossible that something in that gel was going to kill her and yet my brain can make the impossible, some how seem possible when it's the worst case scenario. I had already looked at the can and it didn't say anything about keeping it out of your eyes or any warnings. She eventually calmed down some after turning on cartoons AND reading Horton Hears A Who to her at the same time. (she insisted that her show be on and that I continue to read the book) The capillaries around her eye are all busted, creating little blood spots all around her right eye. I think all the crying probably helped wash out anything that may have made it into her eye. It definitely had to hurt. It's unbelievably hard to watch your kids be in pain, particularly when you know it's something seriously uncomfortable.

Jaded

I've not been feeling very positive today. I don't know if it's the amount of shootings/home invasions that have been happening around here, the violence in the Gaza Strip or just everything in general. I'm starting to feel a little jaded and pissed off at humans in general. I tend to be obsessive about checking local news sites and cnn several times a day. I don't typically watch the news so the only way I know what's going on in the world is by going to the websites. Reading this stuff all day is having an effect on me.

And then there's the way I woke up this morning. Yesterday, Jasmine only slept for a few hours before waking up. My husband usually has more sleep than I do since I go to bed after him so he took her and let me sleep. Today, she had been asleep for maybe five hours before I heard her start moving around and then she started talking. It only took a second or two before I figured out what woke her up. Molly was getting up over and over again, then flopping down on the floor with a sigh. The dog was actually trying to wake someone up. I tried to get Jazz back to sleep for a little while but every time she would start to pass out, the dog would get up again. Eventually, I came unhinged and went after the dog, waking up my husband. He said I looked like Godzilla getting up to destroy Tokyo. He took the dog and put her outside but by then the damage was already done. The kid was up. Molly is banned from the bedroom for a while. Hopefully, she'll sleep tomorrow morning since the bored dog will not be in here.

DDR

Imagine for a minute that you are nine months pregnant, just days away from your due date. Now what do you think would be a good way to spend your Friday night? Well, this pregnant lady jumped around her living room like an idiot for a good 45 minutes. I played Dance Dance Revolution 3. Probably not the best idea I've ever had but it was fun. ;) My husband seemed to find it pretty humorous. Did I mention it was fun? I'm sure it looked pretty goofy. I think it would be a little easier if I didn't have the giant belly. Seemed to put the kid to sleep.

Now we're sitting here watching Baby Mama. It's cute. It'd be cuter if Jasmine would sit still and Savannah would stay off my pillows.

Oops, I did it again...

For the second time this week, I pulled a muscle in my abdomen getting out of bed. I was far more careful this morning but I think that particular muscle has had enough. It kills me to bend over or kneel down. I hope this starts to feel better before I hear the words "push." ;) I told husband that I would take it easy tomorrow and then realized, I hadn't done anything to provoke the current pain.

2009 and whatnot

I am not a huge fan of the whole New Year's tradition. I don't really celebrate it. Usually, we may have a drink and watch the ball drop but we haven't went out in years. I just don't see the point in celebrating the day changing from one month to another. Some people say they hope this next year is better than the one prior or as good as the one they just had. Why can't your better year start when ever you want it to, rather than waiting till the numbers change? *shrugs* I guess I just don't get it. ;)

After dinner, Shawn decided he wanted to get started on cleaning out our bedroom so we could pull up the carpet. (ok, so he can pull up the carpet) It was around 9 by then. I didn't think there was any way we'd even make a dent in any of it. I sat on the bed and kicked things to him that I wanted thrown away. If I wasn't sitting down, I was getting told to sit down so I just kicked things to him or sat on the floor and sorted through things. Once we got everything up off the floor, husband decided he could get everything out of the room and get the carpet up tonight. I was doubtful. It was a lot of work, two dressers that needed to be cleaned out and removed, the bed, the tv, the entertainment center and of course the carpet. I hate not being able to help do things. I end up in the way a lot of the time if I can't help. Before I knew it, the room was almost empty. I decided to wipe down the walls where there had been furniture while Shawn pulled the carpet up from the strips. Once he had the carpet up, I cleaned up the furniture that was going back in the room and swept up the floor with a broom. Under our carpet was some really awful green tiles but it'll have to do for now. (the reason we have to take up the carpet is that our border collie has a bladder issue and when she's asleep, she leaks) I brought the baby bed into the room so we'd know exactly where to put our bed. (it's a co-sleeper) I began getting antsy waiting for my husband to finish hooking up the tv. I went into the living room with the dresser that would be going back in the bedroom and tested how heavy it was. As quietly as I could, I began to drag it back to the bedroom. (it really was light, I'm not just trying to make my case... haha) When I got to the bedroom door my husband let out a sigh that said I was being bad. ;) He quickly moved it into the corner of the bedroom where I wanted it. I can't help it, I don't like feeling like an invalid. After that, everything was back in the room and it was just a matter of moving it where I wanted it and putting the sheets back on the bed. It only took us about three hours from start to finish. And here I thought we'd never get it done in one night. Now... there's nothing left to do before this kid comes. That kind of freaked me out once I realized it. My dogs seem a little pissed that their soft carpet is gone. I plan on putting a rug down where Molly sleeps but the only thing I can really give Mia is some towels to sleep on, and her pillow. She only uses the pillow for her head. When she was younger, she would get on the bed after my husband would leave for work and she would always lay her head on the pillow. It shouldn't be too shocking that my husband gave up one of his pillows to her months ago. So, that's how I spent my New Year's Eve. ;)

You know, every year I forget how loud the city gets when it hits midnight. I was busy tonight so I had no idea what time it was. I had just let the dogs out to go potty when I heard this loud boom and a flash of light. I thought it was lightning. It was our idiot neighbor letting off fireworks. My dogs didn't go potty, instead they made a u-turn and ran back up the steps to the back door. When I opened the door, all I could hear were the pops of gunshots throughout my neighborhood. Jasmine was running through the house saying Happy New Year when I came back in. I told my husband the first story of the news in the morning would be the first baby born after midnight and then the first murder of the new year. I wasn't wrong. At 12:30am, police were called to a house where someone had been shot. They didn't release details on whether the person lived or died yet. I can't wait to move out of this city. Idiots.