Thursday, April 2, 2009

How do I date? :)

So I have this friend, who I'm only friends with because she is my husband's best friends' wife. (following me still? haha) I say "only friends with" because I never would've met her otherwise. We only hang out as a group and have never done anything solo. She wants to leave the kids with men folk and go out to the mall and then dinner afterwards... alone... just the two of us. No one there to add to the conversation. Do you see where I'm going with this? It freaks me out a little bit to be completely alone with another person that isn't my mom or my husband, probably because I tend to only make plans with them. I'm not an overly social person. I don't have friends coming out my yahoo and to be honest, I like it that way. I already feel like my weekends are too short and I don't get to spend enough time with those closest to me, I don't need a bunch of people getting pissy with me because I never hang out with them. Wow, that sounded harsh. :) I guess what I mean is that I only want close friends, not just people I hang out with occasionally when I have nothing better to do. At any rate, that's the reason I don't have a whole lot of experience in one on one friend dates. Plus, I'm super spastic when I'm out shopping. It's one of the reasons I only go shopping with my husband or my mom, they're used to it and know what to expect. I may walk around the mall for hours looking for something in particular, only to go back to the very first store I was in and grab the first thing that had caught my eye hours ago. It's enough to drive some people mad. And I'm not the type of person to tone it down. I figure you'll either like me as I am, spastic-ness and all, or you can go home. God, it's like I'm going on a my first boy/girl date. This is ridiculous. It won't be for a few weeks as we're going to wait till we both have a little money so we're not just browsing for whatever at the mall. (that's another thing, I love trying on crap, even when it's something I know I probably won't buy... another annoyance for some... Beth, don't ever go shopping with me, we'll either die laughing or you'll want me dead after an hour) She definitely needs to get out and have some fun for once though. Neither one of us go out much without our mom's or our husband's... oh or those pesky children. She also got some upsetting news today, another reason she needs a break. A few months ago, she had an abnormal pap and they froze the pre-cancerous cells. She just found out that her most recent pap also had pre-cancerous cells and she needs to do the procedure again. She seems like someone who would worry non-stop after getting the phone call. I'm going to try and get her to loosen up a bit and maybe even have a drink or two. (she's not a drinker... at all)

I had my OB appointment today. A little disappointing. I wanted the IUD that doesn't have hormones and my doctor urged me to go with the Mirena that has a small amount of hormone. The reason being is that I cramp pretty badly under normal circumstances and with the paraguard (non-hormonal IUD) most women cramp worse till it's removed. (up to ten years) I'm not completely comfortable going with the Mirena but I also don't want to be doubled over in pain every month. (literally) It's also going to mean I have to be poked and prodded several times this year. I have to have the thing put in (he says it's pretty "uncomfortable"... I asked for davocet and he told me to take tylenol... I want real drugs if it's going to suck) then I have to have it checked a few months afterwards to make sure my body didn't say screw that, out you go IUD and I still have to have a pap done in July. What does my husband have to do? Nothing, zip, zilch. Just wait till he gets snipped. A friend of mine said when her SIL's husband had it done, they let her do the final snipping. Hand over the scissors buddy, I'm all for it. :)


Beth said...

No, I suspect we won't be going shopping anytime soon! Unless you want to come over and we can shop online. LOL Shopping is a very private experience for me. If I'm trying something on, I know quite well whether it looks good on me or not, and don't need to model it for anyone. But man, I just really don't like to shop!

I know what you mean about going out with a friend. I don't do it often, but when I do it's with a good friend or two from work, people I feel very comfortable with. (Shane, too.) They know me well, and I feel like I can be myself. We're just a couple of loners, you and I, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But it is nice to get out once in a while and have some laughs with someone!

Love, Beth

Robin said...

Oh gosh, to be a woman can be hard, can't it. While I'm one to only do things w/ my mother with others along, cuz that helps, I haven't done any one-on-one friend time in at least a year or longer. Oh, except twice that I'd forgotten. And, I'm okay with that:) My (serious) boyfriend is, apparently, my best friend. My daughter is way too important to me to just go ditch when we DO have some time together. I'm sometimes hanging w/ (adult / parent-type) friends I know through her activities, or with friends that my boyfriend and I both know together. A high school girlfriend found me on facebook, yeah, exciting. She really wants to get together; I'm fine with that, but the details (she wants to eat out?!). ACK. Like you're dealing with. But, yes, be there for this woman -- she's reaching out. BTDT myself w/ those precancerous crap. Heck, maybe you'll enjoy it, too. lol.

Wayne Images said...

Totally go on the friend date. You might be surprised at how much fun you have. I was the same way, I never wanted to be away from my dear, dear Perry. But now, I cherish the time I spend with my girlfriends, it's not very often maybe once every couple of months, but I love it.

I have one friend that I don't like to shop with at all. I'm a loner shopper. She shops totally different than I do but I still go with her because I enjoy hanging out with her. I don't really go for the shopping. Maybe this lady will be a blessing to you. Go one time, if you don't like it, don't go again.

Love, Jeri

Wes said...


I too, feel like you do about going out with friends. If I can get out of it, fine by me! I'm a very social person, and I think you know that from some of our long Emails. I think my fear is that if I find some more best friends, they will leave me. I know it is part of life!

We have to understand that about our family early on in life. I can't say that texting and Emails fills my void, but by way of computer I've discovered many unique people like yourself.

I agree with what you said on Indigo's blog, concerning writing on everyones blog.

But, please don't hestitate to e mail me if your up, and want to talk or share a laugh.


Adirondackcountrygal said...

I have the Mirena and let me tell you, getting it in is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. Not only that, I had horrible pains after that would start in my butt and go into my uteris for a long time after. That let up after a few months, but the getting adjusted stage sucked. Upside is I have no periods anymore! :)