The story of how it all began

The summer of '98, I was dating a loser. I dated a lot of losers. Turns out, I wasn't the only person this loser was seeing but that's neither here nor there. The day I met my husband, I was going up to the losers shop to hang out for the day. (his mother owned a car repair shop that he did all the work at... a guy who had only worked on his own and his friends cars was calling himself a mechanic) I walked in and immediately noticed that the chair to the desk in the office was facing away from the front door. Like out of a cheesy romance movie, the chair slowly turned to face me and it was like the air was sucked out of the room. The guy sitting in that chair would be my future husband and father of my children. At some point during that day, we (me and my childhood friend) left with Shawn (my husband) to go to get auto parts. We were getting bored sitting around doing nothing in the smelly shop so when he left, we went with him. As he was getting out of the car to run in and get the parts, he jotted down his phone number and handed it to me. As young girls tend to do, we got high pitched and giggly the second he was out of hearing range. The loser I was dating was not someone I planned on spending any more than a summer with and I think the feeling was mutual. We were talking everyday and then eventually I went over to his house and from that point on, I didn't talk to the loser anymore. I never broke up with him, I just stopped calling him and he never bothered calling me. Shawn I dated for about a month before he abruptly called it off. I, to this day, have no idea why. I don't know if he honestly doesn't remember or if it was some teenage boy thing that he's now embarrassed to admit. I didn't talk to him for a year. Not a single hi and I avoided him to make sure it never happened. I wasn't heartbroken, just pissed. The next summer, a year to the day that we had gotten together the previous summer, I had a friend over. My mom was cooking dinner so me and my friend (who to this day I am still very good friends with) decided to go for a short walk. We were getting ready to turn around and head back for my house when a truck I recognized was coming down the road. I knew it belonged to a guy I'd known since we were in grade school. And I was relieved that to know the truck as we were on a road that there are were few houses and even fewer vehicles that came down it. The truck slowed down when it got to us and there was a group of boys in the bed of the truck and the cab was full as well. I had no idea that Shawn was the driver. They all got out and there was some chit chat before we realized we had to get back in order to eat our dinner while it was still warm. They gave us a ride back to the house in the bed of the truck (which was filled with bean bags). The idea of riding in the back of a truck always made me nervous. My mom says I'm really an old woman on the inside as things that normal young people would enjoy tend to be things I avoid. (turn down that radio, you're going to go deaf!) My husband noticed my hesitation and drove very slowly to my house, much to the disappointment of the other boys. Later that evening, my friend and I decided to take another, longer walk. We were almost back home when I saw a car pull into my driveway so we jogged the rest of the way back. Suddenly, my house was grand central station. There was a car I recognized as a guy friend of mine (who I later realized was anything but a friend but that's a story for another day) and another car that I'd never seen before. The driver was Shawn. He had decided to just show up at my house and see if we wanted to hang out. We went out to my garage and played pool the rest of the night with a couple of other friends. Eventually, the night had to come to an end and Shawn had to leave. I announced I would "walk him to his car" thinking the others would get the hint to sit and stay. I wasn't that lucky and everyone followed us out, which resulted in a very awkward moment at the driver's side of my husband's car. Numbers were once again exchanged and a promise to get together again soon. It turned out to be very soon. We spent the rest of the summer together... constantly. In fact, over the next two years, we never spent a full day apart from each other. It was in those first few months that his mother made a decision that she probably still regrets... she made him choose between the two of us. It was either he stop seeing me or he moves out of the house. He packed his bags and was out the same night. I was sad that he was forced to make that decision but obviously, glad that he had chosen me. Within six months we were living together, although not yet allowed to share the same room as we were under my mom's roof. We bent that rule as far as we could before she said to hell with it. He slept in the largest room upstairs and it was open to the rest of the house so anyone could walk in. I would sleep in there on the floor next to his bed and he would lay his hand over the side and we would fall asleep holding hands. Ah, to be young and in love. :) This summer will be ten years that we have been together, four that we've been married. And I'd do it all again.

Minka

Minka does indeed have an ulcer on her cornea. She's on medication for it now but goes back next week to have her eye stained to see if it's helping. Once her eye heals, they want to sedate her and pull the tooth, unless it falls out on it's own before then. She has to wear an elizabethan collar around her neck to keep her from aggravating her eye. She's miserable. She peed and poohed in her cage on the way there so she was also forced to a bath before they even looked at her. You would think she was drunk the way she is wobbling around.

Sleep is for the kitties

Not been sleeping much last few days. A combination of Evan not sleeping well and trying to help my brother through a difficult time with his (ex) girlfriend. In twenty four hours, I spent eight full hours on the phone with him. And several hours online with him and her. I was actually able to fall asleep before 8am tonight, only to be woken up a half hour later to Evan howling like someone had chewed off his toe. He stayed up long enough for me to not be able to fall back to sleep. That was at 2:30am and he's been up on and off ever since. And of course, Jasmine woke up too. I keep hoping that when he reaches three months, his tummy troubles will begin to subside as they did with Jasmine. I'm starting to get bitchy from lack of sleep. It took five and half weeks but it happened. :)

I had taken Rocky out for a walk and when I came back in, something caught my eye about (the normally outdoor cat) Minka. One canine tooth seemed longer than the other. I tried to look but there's not a lot of light in the backroom. I brought her into the kitchen and before I could even look at her mouth, noticed that she has an ulcer on her eye. We had that happen last year with (the other normally outdoor cat) Jake and that's when he bit my arm and sent me to urgent care for an infection. The vet's said that it is extremely painful. I'm convinced Minka is some what retarded so it doesn't surprise me that she doesn't notice it at all. (I'm serious... I really think the cat was inbred) I moved onto her mouth and the canine is barely in her jaw anymore. It wiggles and is just hanging there. She's going to the vet tonight or Saturday morning. Shawn is going to call when they open and see if tonight is their late night or not. It's over a half hour drive from our house so we either go on the late night or we go Saturday morning. Every time we get a bonus from work, one of two things happen, either an animal gets injured and needs to go to the vet or something breaks and needs fixing. I should be grateful that it happens when we have money (most of the time that's when it happens anyways) but we never get ahead on our bills because something is always sucking the life out of our bank account.

Baby Evan... finally

This was right before I left my mom's to go to the hospital. I wanted to make sure I got one last belly picture before he was born.



This is the day after he was born. Jasmine took this picture. I don't believe I actually took any at all but my mom and Shawn did.


The outfit he's wearing in both of these is one of the outfits that Lisa bought for him. (life on a bison farm)




What he doesn't do enough of....



Had to throw one in with Jazzy.

Yeeeeesh

Getting pretty fed up with work. I'm just one of those people that feels like if you have an issue with me, talk to me, not everyone else. It always finds it's way back to me and usually in the form of a forwarded email that someone forgets I'm mentioned in. Or hell, maybe it's done on purpose. Yes, I haven't been real involved with things the last several months... I was hugely pregnant and in constant pain. But if they had issues with that, they should've brought them to me. And not acted super excited when I said I could take in more fosters now. I told my husband it really sucks because right now, there is no other organization that I would rather being doing this with in this area right now. All the other places have major issues, making what I'm dealing with where I'm at look like a mole hill, hell an ant hill. It's just really frustrating. I sort of expected it in some ways. When you have that many women working together, you're bound to have some hen house bullshit but I was hoping to avoid it. *sigh*

I have a headache and just spent three hours on the phone. Anyone ever says I don't give a shit about my brother again and I'll bitch slap them. I don't talk on the phone. I avoid it at all costs. And I was on it for three hours. I deserve a medal or at the very least a cookie.

Note to self, everyone can read whatever I write on Twitter. Less bad words in the future for my relatives to read...

Seth R.I.P. December 6, 1977-February 23, 1998

And my daughter JUST found it....

Oh and two mice down, only 576 left to go. I don't care who was carrying it in their mouth when I walked in, I know who the killer was and it surely was not Saffron. The killer was looking on from the kitchen like "Meh, he was more fun when he was alive. You can have him now." Although, I did leave him for a training tool for the other cats. Ok, so only one other cat has a hope of ever catching a live mouse and that would be Saffron. I will... dispose of the evidence in a few hours. So Beth, you can cancel my appointment with Sheeba. Seems I won't be needing his services. Although, I feel like I was being blown off. A kind of, let's book her as late as possible in the year and hopefully she'll go away. ;)

Why doesn't this ever happen on Friday's?

Jasmine allowed me to get a few hours of sleep before waking me up. I was so excited when Shawn said he wouldn't be go anywhere today so he could watch the baby and let me sleep. I was thinking there would be no reason for Jasmine to wake up before me. First thing she asked for was a glass of water. That's always a sign from her. She was complaining of a sore throat and eventually, a stomach ache. I didn't really think much of it because she started acting normal but still occasionally saying they hurt. We went to Target to get a few things and then headed to get some food. She suddenly started feeling really badly after we sat down to eat. I knew it was bad when she never reached for a mozzarella stick. She didn't touch anything for dinner and hadn't eaten anything else today either. Rather than put her through grocery shopping, we just went home. She had a fever and was crying because her tummy hurt. Then she threw up but I couldn't be sure if it was from freaking out or something else. Then she did it again an hour later... in my lap. No warning at all either. Since then she's been ok. She doesn't seem to have a fever anymore or if she does, it's a low one. And she's eaten an apple, even though everything in me screamed don't give that to her when she's been puking. I hope this is just a short thing and that no one else gets it. It's bad enough taking care of her while she's puking but add a five week old baby to it and it's overwhelming. I'm not worried about throwing up and actually have no plans of doing any such thing. You're wondering how I plan on avoiding it? I have phenegren on hand. The first sign that I'm getting pukey, I'm downing one of those suckers. I would literally walk on hot coals to avoid throwing up. I would be a very bad bulimic. Although if this keeps up, I may end up a sympathetic vomiter. One can only handle cleaning up a certain amount of someone else's vomit before it takes a toll on one's stomach.

Excuse my language

Jasmine knows how to say Coke. I've heard her say it numerous times. So imagine my surprise and concern when she came up to me and asked "Can I have a cock?" Erhm, a what? "A cock, a c.o.c.k. I'll show you." Of course she says this as if I'm an idiot or hard of hearing. She led me to the fridge obviously.

Evan is losing his hair. He looks more like my husband everyday and not just due to the hair loss. I get a dirty look from him every time I tell someone that. I say it a lot.

My brother's (ex?) girlfriend is shocked by the amount of energy I have right now considering how... "friendly" I usually am without sleep. It affects me more the first couple of hours that I'm awake but after that I'm ok for the most part. I try not to get frustrated with Jasmine about little things. Note the word try. And yet, a part of me still wants a third. My husband does not with a capital N.

Three blind cats, see how they run

I've been getting super pissed at my husband's cat, Willow. She keeps going into the computer room and won't come out. They're allowed in there but when we leave the room, they have to leave the room. She kept going to the same spot under a chair in the room and just laying there for hours. You literally had to shove her out the door. The other night, I'm in there on his computer when she jerks suddenly. I look over and she's running out of the room. That's when I saw a tiny mouse hanging out of her mouth. I had a feeling we still had some due to the hole chewed in the bottom of the ferrets food but hadn't seen any other evidence. What's ironic is the last thing my husband said to her that night before he went to bed was 'You'd better not come out of that room unless you're carrying a mouse.' He forgot to tell her to dispose of the mouse. After a while I saw her in the kitchen, she had dropped the mouse and was just pawing at it. The last time she caught a mouse, she lost it. A little while later and she's frantically searching for the mouse, along with the other two cats. I rolled my eyes and took the kids to bed. After they were both asleep, I was walking through the kitchen to go let the dogs out and saw all three cats still looking for the mouse, hours later. I let everyone out and walked back into the kitchen, where I saw the mouse about three feet away from the cats, in plain sight, just walking around. I'd finally had enough and grabbed a pitcher that we use for giving the dogs water and he ran right into it. Poor thing was so thirsty that he was drinking a small amount of water that was still in it, despite the fact that he knew he was being hunted. I thought I'd get the cats to chill out by showing them, mommy has the mouse so you can all stop looking now. I took him outside with a few pellets of cat food. (yes I know, I shouldn't have fed the rodent but I felt awful tossing him out into the cold) It's days later now and they're still looking for it. Earlier in the day, Shawn kicked Willow out of his room again and Isaiah went running after her, assuming she had another mouse. (because you know, he's too good to catch his own) That night when I called my husband to tell him about it, I asked him 'Who do you think finally caught that mouse?' He said Jasmine. LOL I was like NO, I caught the effin' thing. My cats are worthless for hunting.

Kids say the funniest things

Jasmine just mispronounced SpongeBob Square Pants... she calls it SpongeBob Queer Pants. LMAO

Here comes trouble

I do have some news other than lacking in sleep. It's the same news I have every year around this time. We'll be heading to Columbus, Ohio the beginning of April for the Equine Affair. In five years, my mom and I have only missed one EA. (lacked the funds that year but went to something similar, but not as good, in Indianapolis) I'm super excited this year because they're having the Canine Affair at the same time for the first time ever. It's going to be big on obediance, fly ball and agility training seminars so there's bound to be quite a few aussie's and border collie's. Unfortunately, we (I) didn't look at the schedule for the seminars for the CA and the two seminars I wanted to go to are on Saturday late in the afternoon and we'll be leaving Ohio early that day to come home. I really hope they do it next year as well. It's nice to get some variety. We've been going to these for so long that we pretty much know the exact layout of the event, including where all the vendors are located inside the buildings. Now if only we had that good of a memory of the roads in and around Columbus. =) It'll just be my mom, Jasmine and myself on this trip. Shawn doesn't enjoy it anyway and there's no way I want to take a three month old baby on a five hour drive or some place that is that busy. It'll be just the girls.

Yeesh

Evan has the worst belly aches at all the wrong times. During the day, he sleeps pretty good on and off with very little screaming. However when I would like to be sleeping, he's cranky, whiney and screaming. My mom stayed home from work today as she's having some work done to her kitchen so I headed over there when I was still awake at 8am with BOTH kids. She took the screamer and I took the spoiled one and went to bed in my mom's room. If only I could win the lottery, my husband could quit his job and I could sleep, uninterrupted. ;) I wish I had something else to post other than whining about my sleep or lack thereof. I feel so boring right now. On the bright side of things, my husband is planning on taking both kids to his friends house with him on Friday so I'll hopefully get to go out and do things without someone clinging to me. Can we do a happy dance for no clinging?

It moves

I think one of my new favorite movies is going to be The Secret life of Bees. (I'm still in the process of watching it) I'm usually more of a action/horror/comedy type of girl but they don't do anything for me. They don't move me. This movie moves me. It touches me. There's only a handful of movies out there that are able to do that and make it last.

I'm not as bad as this blog makes me seem

7am and both my kids are still awake. Evan has been up about seven hours now with a belly ache. At least I think that's what it is. He screams on and off. Jasmine was asleep for about an hour or two but his screaming woke her up. Now I'm stuck watching Blue's Clues and yelling at her every few minutes for something she's doing. I hate this guy on Blue's Clues. I want to punch him. I also got some news a while ago that I'm not at liberty to share that was something I was hoping not to hear any time soon. And we're back to screaming baby. *sigh*

Obama Macgyver

She's one bad mother - shut your mouth

I figured everyone else is doing it... welcome to me, in comic book hero form.

Getting Rehab

I am now the owner of firefox. I didn't want to do it. However, to get cute smiley's on my blog without a bunch of red tape, I had to install it and get some add-ons. There are many out there but for now, I'm just using the basic Yahoo emoticons, it's enough for me.

Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, my mind was wandering, as it's prone to do. For whatever reason, I was thinking about my aunt and uncle who are extremely religious. My aunt calls themselves Jesus freaks. Then I started thinking about how much bible related stuff they do every week and thought, it's more like an addiction. (hope the two of you don't find this offensive!) And of course, my mind continued onward. I wondered what a rehab clinic would be like for a Jesus addict? Instead of AA would it be, JA?

"Hi, I'm Nancy and I'm... addicted to Jesus."
"Hi Nancy."
"I do Jesus all the time. I can't seem to get enough of it. It started off harmless enough... a little Jesus here and there, a little more around the holidays. You know how stressful that time of year is so I always got a little extra. When I met my husband, we began doing Jesus together. And then it seemed like we were always doing Jesus. We would have groups of people over on Friday to do Jesus for hours. And of course, we do Jesus most of the morning on Sundays. Every Wednesday we get together with friends for several more hours of Jesus. And I never eat a meal without doing Jesus first. I don't even know how to begin the process of stopping Jesus. When I'm not doing Jesus, I'm thinking about doing Jesus. It's to the point that it's the last thing I do every night before I go to sleep. I kneel next to the bed and do as much Jesus as it takes to get me to sleep. Should I be in Jesus rehab instead of just JA?"

Remember P and J, you love me and because we're blood, you're stuck with me.

It's a start

I was able to get in a round of pilates tonight. Instead of my abs hurting, it's my lower back. That's a new one. I think I'm going to get another video to go with the one I currently have. Something that works the abs more. This one is a very basic pilates video and is more to help posture and learn some of the more often used pilates poses. That was about all I got accomplished today however. Between the two kids, I didn't get much time to just sit. Evan seems to eat non-stop. Seriously, he's eating about 5 ounces every two hours and sometimes he has an ounce or two in between that time. I feel like I have a bottle attached to my hand. When he's not eating, he's either sleeping (woohoo for sleep) or upset because his tummy hurts. (whether that's due to the fact that he's not pooping or gas, just depends on the day) And while all that is going on, Jasmine is always 'Mom, mom, mom, mom.' Really, sometimes she does that and when I say 'WHAT?!' She doesn't even know what she wanted to begin with. I have to say no a good ten to twenty times before she stops doing whatever it is she's doing. The things I say the MOST during the day are what, no, stop that, leave him alone, stop throwing that, don't jump on that, that's not a toy, don't play with that by the tv, I love you and a lot more NO. Oh, and what do you think you're doing, as well as, have you LOST your mind, come into play a lot too. :) And that's on a day where my patience is at it's best. Just put me in a room with a teenager who wants to be a mommy... talking to me will put them on a birth control until they're at least in their mid-twenties. :D

Holy Pink Flying Elephants, Batman

I think someone needs to be taught to party AFTER the show. Otherwise, you're made to look like a huge ass. I really hope he gets it together and doesn't end up like his brother.

How far?

My computer is up and working again. I was planning on posting some pictures, however, my SD thingy isn't working right on the computer and I can't seem to locate my usb cable for the camera. Go figure. Maybe tomorrow. My husband magically seems to be able to locate anything that has to do with electronics in the house. (however, he can't seem to find a pair of socks... haha)

Have you seen the story on the news about the woman who had an abortion and now the doctor is losing his license? Well, I'll sum it up for you quickly with the basics. This woman goes in for an abortion at 23 weeks pregnant, that's five months people. They give her some drugs and tell her it's going to make her feel sick and stick her in a room. The woman delivers a baby girl before the abortion doctor gets in the room. The baby, starts to try to breathe. The nurses or whomever was in there with her, take the baby, and the placenta and toss them into a bio hazard bag, close it and toss the baby out like garbage. The mother witnesses it all and realizes that her baby was alive when it was born and saw what they did to her. They quickly give mom a shot to knock her out and then when she wakes up, they send her home as if none of it happened and it was all routine. Mom contacts the authorities who get two or three warrants before they finally find the baby's body decomposing in a closet. Medical tests proved that the baby's lungs, did indeed, fill with oxygen before she died. This story has really made me re-evaluate my stance on abortion. I'm still pro-choice but I believe there should be much stronger laws. There is no way in hell that woman should've been allowed to have the abortion in the first place that far into her pregnancy. My initial thought is that an abortion shouldn't be allowed to take place after the first trimester. But then I think of that baby girl who died and it makes me think, when, in my mind, does any fetus become human enough to make an abortion, murder? It's extremely hard for me to make that decision. Within the first two months, a baby is formed enough to have fingers, and toes. It's just hard for me to imagine ending a pregnancy where it's no longer just a mass of cells that are building up to becoming a baby but something that resembles life. But in all actuality, the mass of cells is something that only lasts in the early days of pregnancy before it's something more tadpole-like. My husband believes you shouldn't be allowed to get an abortion except in extreme circumstances, such as rape. I'm not sure where I stand anymore. I just keep imagining that little baby girl taking her first breath and then being thrown into a plastic bag to die.

It is with a great deal of sadness that I write this. On February 6th at 7:37am, Jessica Rose passed away. This is the little girl I posted about several months ago that had cancer. She was six years old. I cannot even begin to imagine what her family is going through right now. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jessicakohut

Wah ;)

Last night sucked pretty good. Jasmine didn't fall asleep till almost 8am (she had been asleep earlier in the night and woke up as I was getting ready for bed) and then Evan woke up three hours later and was up till long after my husband got home. I had about three hours of sleep and then passed out for a few hours when Shawn took over for me. Evan still seems to be having tummy issues so it could very well end up being another long night. And Jasmine is REALLY not listening.

Short and Sweet

Jasmine had her doctor's appointment today. He said she should be absolutely fine and that her hand is healing extremely well. I'll be glad when we're done with the medication. She cries when she has to take it half the time and begs not to take it. It's hard to explain to a 3 year old why they have to take nasty tasting stuff. And it will be a miracle if none of us get sick after being in the germ factory so many times during cold and flu season. I think that's why the doctor isn't having Evan come back till March, to avoid as many germs as possible. I know Jasmine was in the office for shots every month for the first several months. Evan went a few days after he was born, a week after he was born and then won't be back until three months.

My pregnancy weight is coming off faster this time than it did with Jasmine. I've lost 20lbs. in two weeks. Ten of that came off immediately after he was born. I'll probably start working out again over the weekend. I'm supposed to wait 2-3 weeks after he's born before I do anything that would strain my muscles and I want to play it safe so I don't start bleeding badly. I'm not doing anything to my ab muscles until between 4-6 weeks, again just to play it safe. I'm ready to play some dance dance revolution. I haven't gotten to play with my Christmas gift except for the one time (very carefully at nine months pregnant!). Even though I've been tired and a little cranky from being woken up so often, it's still better than being pregnant. I was miserable those last three months. When I was pregnant with Jasmine, I didn't have much discomfort at all the entire nine months except for a little bit in month seven and that was just in my feet. It was such a relief to my body when he was born. On top of the physical pain I was feeling, I was also becoming very depressed the last two months. I had two weeks where I only changed out of my pajamas two days. I didn't have any motivation to do anything. Within an hour of Evan's birth, I had started taking my anti-depressants again. It was only a matter of days before I felt like me again. That too, was a relief, a big one.

Cat bite aftermath

After much debating, we decided it was best to take Jasmine to medpoint today. It is indeed infected, quite badly. She will need to see her doctor tomorrow if it's looking worse or Tuesday if it's looking the same or better. If it's worse, she may need surgery and to see a specialist. I'm glad we ultimately made the decision to take her in, rather than wait. Unfortunately, the antibiotic they gave her tastes like rotten feet and the first time we tried to get her to take it, she threw up. My husband drove back out to the pharmacy and had them flavor it, heavily and now she can at least get it down. Poor kid. Her finger looks like hell, purple and extremely swollen. The infection had started to spread up her hand by the time we got to medpoint. The doctor marked the extent of the infection with a pen so that we know if it spreads further by tomorrow. And she was such a good girl for the doctor and nurse. They cleaned it up while we were there and she didn't even flinch. (I fully expected a fight when they said they were going to clean it) Now let's just hope that no one gets sick after being in that germ factory.

Yeesh

It's been a rough day. Evan's been having trouble going potty so he grunts and cries half the day until something finally happens. He's also been throwing up this past week. The doctor thinks it's the formula he's on. We've been working to change it over but it takes a few days. You can't just do it all at once or you end up with a sicker baby. He also has a tear duct that is having trouble opening, which doesn't seem to cause him any discomfort but makes his eye goopy. We had this problem when Jasmine was a baby as well and it takes a while to open it. You have to massage the duct and put warm compresses on it a few times a day.

Jasmine had put Willow in our bedroom earlier in the evening to play with her. (my husband's cat) She came in the kitchen to ask me for a banana and then headed back to the bedroom. Some how, Willow's tail ended up stuck in the door. I think that Willow tried to run out of the room so Jasmine tried to shut the door. When Willow started screaming, Jasmine tried to help her by pulling her out of the door. Willow bit her. Her index finger is badly bitten and swollen. She screamed for forty minutes nonstop after it happened. I was just about to the point of taking her to the ER. (it was midnight when it happened) The cat is fine by the way, just a little bruised. I tried to wash her hand as soon as it happened but she's 3 and doesn't understand why it needs to be done so it didn't get cleaned out very well. We should know in the morning if she needs to go to medpoint or not. It was just awful. I've never heard anyone scream like that before and it made it ten times worse that it was my kid that was doing the screaming.