Let them eat cake

Husband picked up my cake today on his way home. I'm not sure if I like the chocolate or the yellow better. I ordered it with both so I didn't have to choose. ;) Between the three of us and the piece I'm sending with Shawn to work tomorrow to give to my mom, it's already half gone. I found this really great sounding recipe last night. It's basically little bits of cake rolled into balls and dipped into melted chocolate. I'm looking forward to making it but it takes several hours so I'll probably wait till the weekend.

Over the last few weeks, my husband has been raising money for this kid type charity. The center for the homeless in our city, has quite a few kids there this Christmas. This lady is trying to get together a thousand dollars so that each one of these kids gets something for Christmas. She plans to have a build-a-bear workshop so that each child can make their own bears. My husband was able to raise exactly five hundred. I was pretty shocked that he was able to get that much money with the way the economy is this Christmas. He's taking the money to her tomorrow up in Michigan. I'm proud of him and I know he's glad he was able to make a difference in some kid's lives that otherwise would've had absolutely nothing this year.

Tomorrow I have my 34 week doctor's appointment. I've been having pain quite frequently over the last few weeks so I'll definitely be bringing that up. At times it feels like my muscle's in my stomach are actually being ripped when the baby moves or kicks in certain places. I've also been having pain lower. I won't go into too much detail as it's slightly TMI. It definitely makes me think the baby is very low. I would definitely prefer to hear tomorrow that there is nothing to indicate that my body is changing in preparation for labor. I would really like to not have a December baby. Both Christmas and my own birthday are in December and there is so much going on that I know at some point the baby would feel the same way about it's birthday that I do. (two days after Christmas is not the best day to be born, fyi) I'm due January 12th and if I just make it to the month of January, I'll be ok. Although, it will be a major relief to have my body back to myself. There are days I want to say 'Ok that's it, it's eviction day, get out. I'm done sharing and quite frankly, you're hurting me.' I'd regret even thinking it if I did go into early labor. I wouldn't want a preterm baby, no matter how uncomfortable I may be. Although, at this point in my pregnancy, the chances of a baby being born with only minor problems is greatly increased. For now, I'd prefer to play it safe and have a baby no sooner than 37 weeks.

Shoot, Sleep and Eat

I complain fairly often that my camera is not up to par. I'm sure a lot of this is the operator and not the camera. It was my first point and shoot, my previous have been SLR. I was used to setting up my shots, not having the camera use it's "brain." It's caused me a lot of frustration. The other day, I found the book to the damned camera and have seen some results. Yes, I've had the camera for a year. Yes it was egotistical that I thought I could just figure it out on trial and error. I've learned my lesson. Today was the first time I've been able to take a picture of my white cat and have it look like the cat. Before he had been a white blotch. He has beautiful blue eyes that I have yet to see on film. They're sensitive so he closes them the second the light comes on for the flash. One of these days he'll be in a room bright enough that I won't need the flash. Oh, that's something else! Every time I've tried taking a picture without the flash on, I've needed a tripod or the photos are ridiculously blurry. I've figured out that dilemma as well. I was actually able to take a picture, in the dark, of my Christmas tree without a tripod and the lights aren't blurred across the screen like a bad acid trip. Maybe I can get some decent shots with this camera occasionally until I can get my DSLR.

I didn't sleep all that well last night. I was too worried about Jasmine to sleep easily. In fact, I did my best NOT to sleep for as long as possible. Sometime between 5 and 6 I passed out however. She woke up about 11:30, no fever, nothing. I was still apprehensive and kept a close eye on her for several hours. She was looking pretty pale, just as she had yesterday but as the day went on, she pinked up. I tried to get some tylenol in her first thing, just in case but she never did take it. It shouldn't be a big surprise that I took a nap halfway through the day.

Once I was back awake, we headed to the bakery to order a cake. No, there's no special occasion, I've just had a craving for cake from this place. While we were there, we grabbed a few cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies. I liked the fluffiness of the cookies but still think mine are the best I've ever eaten. I'm going to heat the last one up and see if it changes my mind but I doubt it. I had to take half the frosting off the cupcakes. I just can't handle that much. Husband ate what I didn't want. Afterwards we headed up to Five Guys for some burgers. Jasmine really seems to like it there. It's a bit loud so she doesn't have to be mouse-like. I don't think we'll be able to get up there as much once the baby is born. It's not really baby friendly and as I said, it's loud.

Giving thanks and fevers

Thanksgiving was really good. Good food. Good family. Good times. ;) Jasmine had a blast playing with her second cousin. Never mind that he's 14 or 15 years older than she is. She was just happy to have someone new to con into hide and seek.

Today was another story all together. I knew immediately that something was off with Jazz. She said she wanted water and that her tummy hurt. Based on her track record, that usually means it's going to be a very long morning and that she's going to throw up at least once. Today there was no vomiting but I was shocked by the heat coming off her forehead. I didn't think she was too overheated as her cheeks were still just a little warm. I was quite wrong. After a few hours, I took her temperature since she was still not feeling well and really starting to look pale. It was 103.7, the highest fever she has had. I first called my husband to let him know she was really hot, then called my mom to see what she would do. I was in the process of getting her to take some tylenol. A half hour after she took the tylenol, I took her temperature again and then called my mom, as promised. Her fever had went down to 102.7 and within another half hour, it was down to 101.5. The last time I took it, it was normal but she was still under the influence of medication. While her fever was down, she was feeling really good and kept asking to go get our Christmas tree, since that's what I told her we'd be doing today. (we go every year the day after Thanksgiving) Finally, I broke down and we headed out. We took home the second or third tree we looked at. It didn't look that big, particularly compared to it's friends. It was 8 1/2 feet tall. Oops. We had to cut half a foot off of it once we got it in the living room. However, I think it's the most gorgeous tree we've had yet. It looks fake, it's so perfect. If it weren't for the very small bare spot near the top, it really would look perfect. Very pretty tree.

Back to Jazz, she's sleeping now but her tylonel is set to wear off in about a half hour. I'm nervous to go to sleep before then. Both times I've let the medicine wear off, her fever has spiked. I've always been concerned with fever induced seizures. I don't know how common they are but it's something I worry about. (one of many things) It probably won't make a difference any way, I usually can't fall asleep this early. I'm also concerned that Jasmine has no symptoms other than the fever. No sniffles, coughing, sneezing, nothing. The only thing she's said is that her tummy hurts and that she's sick. Being a parent is no fun when you have no idea what the hell you're supposed to do.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Today Jasmine and I spent the day out together. We went to the mall and bought her a couple of sweaters. Then we went to Kohl's to look at shoes for her. (clearance) She was fairly well behaved. She had gotten up about five hours earlier than she is used to (trust me, I had nothing to do with it). When you have an overly tired kid, one of two things happens 1) They're obnoxious monsters from hell 2) they're obnoxious monsters from hell. ;) With one of them, they're grouchy, cry easily and just in general not fun to be around. With the second, they are overly hyper, everything is a game and they don't listen... at all. Jasmine was the second. It's preferred over the first. If she's going to ignore me, at least she can be happy go lucky while she does it. After we ate, we headed to Walmart and I told her she could get a toy. Normally I don't reward good behavior in this way but I had already been planning on letting her get a toy before I knew how she was going to behave. She decided to pick out a horse that had enough glitter on it to suffocate a lion. I'll be picking glitter off myself for the next six months. She's been asleep for about an hour now. Ahhh, blissful silence. Now I'm off to take an ambien, hopefully fall asleep quickly, so I can eat till I want to puke... wait a few hours and eat some more. ;) You should do the same.

Baking and complaining

I'm sore and tired. I spent the evening baking. No, not for Thanksgiving, just to try out a few new recipes. I made Chocolate Truffle Cookies. I need to try a second (cooled off) one in order to give my official opinion. Based on the first cookie, it's just a little too much chocolate for me. I don't know where there was supposed to be cookie. The outside *looks* like a cookie but the center looks like a truffle. Oh, wait. I'm sure they could be really good with some tweaking. I was planning on making another type of cookie (wasn't sure which yet) but my husband had a particularly difficult day working on his car so I made him brownie's instead. I threw in some bits of caramel with the batter and omigod. All these years of baking and I've never put caramel in a brownie. What in the hell was I thinking? Next time I'm going to make the kind of brownie's I like (husband prefers the kind with frosting and nothing added to the batter, aside from caramel) with chocolate chips mixed in. I was going to make my cream cheese sugar cookies for Thanksgiving but it was 1am by the time I got to bed. By that time, my feet hurt, my back was killing me and my kitchen smelled. I was done. The kitchen does not smell lovely like I've been baking all night. A few days ago, I made macaroni and cheese in the oven... it made a mess... in the oven. We had forgotten it happened and husband preheated the oven for the ham when his mother was over for dinner. Stinky. And of course, I forgot to clean it between then and now... and I preheated the oven... more stinky. Hopefully it will be cooled off enough in the next hour or so and I can clean it out and avoid it happening again. It claims to be a self cleaning oven but I haven't a clue what that means or how to make it clean so I'll just use some water and a washcloth for now. I believe there is oven cleaner out there that is safe for the self cleaning ovens.

I had dinner with my mom tonight and it was the first night since the MIL was here that I was able to talk to her and tell her what had happened. It re-invigorated my anger over the situation.. as well as all the situations that have come before this one. I should point out (Beth reminded me) in my husband's defense, he usually says something to his mom, if I ask him to but it never seems to make a difference so we usually say nothing. I was telling my mom this evening that I'd really like to email her and tell her how over the line she was with her comments and how immature it is that she would USE her granddaughter in hopes of personal gain. I've never done this before. I've never said a harsh word towards her. And I'm wondering if it would at least make her think twice before she does these things. At the very least, it might make me feel better. A big issue with her is that my daughter is a quarter Mexican. My husband is half, my MIL is white as snow. For some reason, she seems to think everything we do with our daughter, should be based off the fact that she has a small amount of latino blood in her. I have no problem with Jasmine learning where she comes from and would encourage it but I'm not going to push something on her at three years of age. My MIL seems to think that Jasmine should already know where she comes from even though she's three. When she found out that my daughter doesn't like tacos, she acted like we were abusing her and forcing her NOT to like tacos. I'm sure there are plenty of people in Mexico that don't like tacos. When Jasmine was a day old, my MIL wanted to get her ears pierced and was shocked that we had no plans of EVER piercing her ears, let alone when she was still in the hospital. You know why she wanted her ears pierced? Because it's common in Mexico to have your baby's doctor pierce her ears at birth. I can't imagine having a newborn that is already pissed about being out of her warm comfy uterus, also have burning ears. She had even bought the kid earrings, she was so sure that we would just have it done. I decided a long time ago that I would not have my daughter's ears pierced until she was in double digits age wise. She needs to be old enough to care for them and old enough to know that those holes will always be there. Ha I'm sure a few of you would be shocked hearing that come from me who has had half her body pierced or tattooed. I didn't have most of that done, however, till I was older. I was thinking today, what kind of blow up will we have when Jasmine turns 15 and we don't have a quincera? In Mexico, it's a huge coming of age when a girl turns 15. They spend a year or more planning the kids party and she wears a big fancy dress, lots of people show up and really, I'm not sure what else happens other than the kids run around and the adults get trashed. Should I also start celebrating every Irish, and German (and whatever else me and my husband have mixed in our blood) tradition? I'm too busy raising her and trying to help her grow into a responsible person to worry myself with teaching about Mexican history. She lives in America, she's American, if nothing else, she should learn about that before she learns about a very small percentage of her background, in my opinion.

Now, I'm off to find out the hours of the Italian bakery downtown. I want a cake from that place and hopefully, I can get one tomorrow. Who knew that the Italians could bake as well?

"Eeeeeeek" Screams the longhaired Siamese

I wasn't planning on posting a blog tonight (ok so by now you'll read this as this morning but seeing as how I haven't gotten to sleep yet, it's still night to me). Here I was, minding my own business, getting ready to go to sleep. I'm not sure exactly what it was that made me get up. Possibly to pee? It seems like I had to do something in the kitchen, seeing as how that's where I went first. Willow, my husband's fat cat was sitting on my counter, some where she KNOWS she's not allowed but has been sleeping there when she thinks I'm done for the night. (yet, no matter how many times I catch her and swat her down, she still risks it night after night) The cat is kind of weird and thinks that there are rodents living in everything. One night, after we bought the infant car seat, Jasmine was inside the box that the seat came in, with it all folded up and the cat circled it as if to wait to attack the giant mouse that was moving around inside. She looked a little displeased when a child climbed out instead. Since we moved in here, she has spent many evenings staring at the bottom of my stove because ONE time a mouse did emerge from there and she killed it. Once and she's still obsessed. I noticed over the last few days that Saffron now stares at the bottom of the stove. Great, you're making the other cat nutty. (Isaiah, the siamese has no instincts when it comes to rodents... or maybe he thinks he's too good for mouse chasing) At any rate, I was in the living room, looking out the small window on our front door as it sounded like there was a truck stuck in the snow outside my house. Suddenly I heard what sounded like cats bouncing off the cabinets, just pure chaos. I figured Saffron had latched onto someone's tail and they were in a tug of war... it wouldn't be the first time. (or the last) Willow and Isaiah were under the kitchen table... Willow had a baby mouse in her mouth. Ok, first thought, shit if there's a baby, there's a mommy... and a daddy... and more babies. Second was 'oh the poor thing.' I left the room without confirming whether it was alive or dead. I figured if it was alive, I'd want to save it and saving it would mean dumping it outside in freezing temperatures. I'm sure the mouse would prefer the quicker, albeit more painful death via cat. Eventually, I went back into the kitchen, saw there was no mouse in Willow's mouth and asked if she killed it or let it get away. Just as I bent down, I got my answer. She dropped him... alive... and he got away. Goddamnit Willow, if you're going to catch it then you need to KILL it. She looked after the mouse with a 'We'll meet again' look on her face. Isaiah had still been next to her and his expression was more 'EEEEK a MOUSE!' The only cat I have that is a proven mouser is the evil monster that lives outside. The cat that bit through my arm, down to the muscle last year, causing the most painful infection. (who knew things could get THAT infected in less than six hours) I just got done telling my husband, I'm not losing a limb just so a mouse can die. (and no, we're not sure what the evil cat from hell's deal is... he's fairly normal outside but you bring him inside and he attacks anything and anyone for no reason and I mean looking to seriously injure in these attacks. And yet, he gets upset when you put him back outside. We've decided that when, for whatever reason, Jake needs to be indoors, he will stay in the backroom with the dogs... they're crated, they'll be safe and yes, I'm concerned for the DOGS safety) Saffron was just coming out of nap during all of this so I'm not sure if he really knows what happened. Last I checked, he was in the living room playing with one of his fake toy mice, completely oblivious to the intense search going on in the kitchen. Apparently, after Willow allowed the mouse to be on his merry way, she changed her mind and wanted him back... but the mouse is no where to be found. Gee, Willow, wonder how that all happened. My dogs could mouse better than those cats...... but I think they would actually pull the stove away from the wall, roll it over a few times and chew a hole in the wall to get to the mice.

Oh no she didn't ;)

I don't normally post anything in detail about my MIL but today, well I just don't care if she reads this. I draw a very strong line in the sand when it comes to my daughter and she crossed it today as far as I'm concerned. Her main tactic with my husband has always been manipulation, usually with guilt. It stopped working a long time ago with him but she continues to try any way. We have had this conversation with her numerous times on where Jasmine will be when I go into labor. She WILL be with my mom, at my mom's house. I've gotten very frustrated the last month or so that she has known about my pregnancy as she just won't listen. She has went as far as to say that Jasmine will cry if left at my mom's. Well, she'll have a frickin' panic attack if she's left at my MIL's house for ANY length of time. My husband and I were in the kitchen (which is open to my living room) getting dinner on plates for everyone when we heard his mom ask my daughter 'Are you coming to stay at my house when your mommy has the baby?' It wasn't really said as a question but more of a fact, as if this had been decided. This is the second time in as many weeks that she has tried to use my daughter to get her way. The last time we were with her, she asked if we had found out the sex of the baby, which we said no and then she immediately turned to my daughter and asked her if we were having a boy or a girl, as if since we're not telling her, my daughter will. Since my MIL has left the house, I have had to reassure my daughter SEVERAL times that she will NOT be going to stay at my MIL's house. Do you have any idea how hard it is on a three year old when major plans suddenly change in her little mind? It takes a lot to get her to understand what is going to happen while this baby is being born and then get her to accept it on top of everything else. For my MIL to go in and completely destroy all the work I've put into this, is just maddening. She upset my daughter for no reason other than in hopes of personal gain. I was so beyond pissed that I literally almost had to go outside in order to keep from losing it. My husband was standing next to me, yelling into the living room that Jasmine was not to listen to her and that she was NOT staying with her. (my MIL was completely oblivious to this as she is almost totally deaf) Do you have any idea how many times I'm going to have to reassure my daughter that none of that is going to happen? Normally, when my MIL does these types of things, I say nothing to my husband, at least not till I calm down but this was one of those times where the words 'WTF is wrong with your mom?' just managed to come out. I just don't know how much more crap I can take before I can't keep quiet anymore. My husband has told me many times that he doesn't care if I blow up at her but I'm a keep the peace type of person. I typically take the stand that if I don't have to deal with someone often, then there's no need to make future visits with them uncomfortable, particularly when it doesn't change them or the way they act. (my dad is the king of manipulation so this is nothing new to me but I hate dealing with it from anyone)

On the other end of things, I have most of my Christmas presents picked out for people. My husband is pretty much the only one that I have no idea what I'll be doing. It's a relief because I usually agonize over it for weeks at a time before I either a) find the "perfect" gift idea for each person or b) say screw it and get them a gift card. I also found a new recipe for cookies that I'm going to try out before Christmas. You actually use cake mix in these and I can mess with the recipe a little to make them fluffy. Unfortunately, they all have to be eaten with about two days or they start to get gross. I'm off to find some more things that sound good to make. (oh and the macaroni and cheese I made in the oven today, new recipe, was really good... next time I'll just use a little less cheese as this was more cheese soup than anything else) Then I'm going to create voodoo dolls and stick them till I feel better. ;))))