I'm such a whiner today

I think I'm about done. Get the hell out of me already. I'm sure it would be a nice story to have two kids born on their due dates, but really, I'm over it. I'm definitely still freaked out about leaving Jasmine for the night (or more if I go into labor at night, have the kid in the morning, they'll keep me the next night) I'll regret saying any of this when both of them refuse to sleep or they refuse to sleep at the same time but for the moment, I'm over being pregnant. I'm sick of waking up with my hips hurting, over my feet hurting constantly and definitely DONE pulling muscles just by rolling over. I want to be able to slouch again. If I even attempt a small slouch, I get the crap kicked out of me, not to mention the fact that there's just not much room for slouching. Oh and then there's the heartburn, which I didn't experience even once when I was pregnant with Jasmine. Now, to be honest, I haven't done anything to bring on labor, as I did with Jasmine. Again, it's because I'm freaked out about leaving her. I'm sure when I feel the first signs of labor I will panic at least a little bit. I don't even like leaving the kid for a few hours of shopping. Sleeping in that hospital is going to be nearly impossible as the entire time I'm going to want to be with her. At the same time, I just want my body back to myself. It's mine and I'd like to reclaim it as such. I'd like to be able to take whatever OTC drugs I want, without being forced to do online research about whether they could affect someone else living inside me. And I would like all hiccups to belong to me only. *sigh* Sorry for the complaining.

Jasmine has been, dare I say, good today. *gasp* Could she actually be well behaved for an entire day? Well, she's still awake so there's always a possibility that she could "change" suddenly. For now, she's being an angel.

I'm getting quite annoyed with the Packers Proshop. I ordered something from them on the 28th and it didn't get sent out till a few days ago, despite the fact that UPS was sent the billing information. I don't live that far from Green Bay that it should take this long for them to send it out and then for it to actually get here. I wish they would've used FedEx instead. It should be here tomorrow as it was in some hick town in Indiana this afternoon. I've gotten things from California quicker than this package is arriving. I hate waiting for things that I order. I usually just go somewhere and buy what I want, cutting out that waiting issue. This was one of the few times that wasn't possible.

Oooooooh, I just remembered, some movies come out tomorrow AND my pizza place opens back up. They were closed for the holidays since it's family owned and tomorrow, I get my pizza!!! I'm actually not a pizza person. I've never been really head over heels for the stuff but I absolutely love Rocco's pizza. We usually get the biggest pizza they have, along with an order of their garlic bread. It's usually enough to feed all three of us. Once this one growing inside of me is big enough to eat it however, we'll have to buy two. Maybe I'll tell it that it's lactose intolerant and keep it to one pizza. ;)~

The evasive sleep

Here it is 7am and I am just now getting to relax. Jasmine just would not go to sleep. When she finally fell asleep, I got up to pee and she woke up. When she wakes up, you have to start all over again trying to get her to sleep. It took two hours of trying to get her to sleep from the last time she woke up. If it happened again, I think I would just give up, put a movie on and wait till she passes out, probably several hours later. To top it off, the one that lives inside me has not stopped pushing on my innards for the last several hours. The kid is so strong that when it pushed on my back an hour or so ago, I felt and heard it pop, as if at the chiropractor. Now I'm just waiting to feel one of my ribs snap in two.

I hate when my husband goes back to work after vacation. It takes weeks for me to feel comfortable being alone in the house after he leaves for work. Every noise is a cause to be suspicious. I just lay in bed in a sort of paralysis, waiting for the next noise. Tonight, I decided to bring one of the phones in the bedroom, along with a charger. I don't know why I haven't done it before. It's not infrequent that I feel uncomfortable without a line to the outside world and bring the phone with me to bed. Now it can just stay in here. The next time I hear a strange noise, I won't have to come to the realization that I didn't bring the phone with me that night. When this baby is born, Shawn is taking a week off work. I'll be glad to have him home again, not just for the help but also for the security of just knowing he's there next to me. It also means, I will have to get used to him being gone again after that week. My hope is that I'm so exhausted that it won't be so hard to sleep without him.

I am so hungry right now. I really want to eat something. Why won't I? The heartburn isn't worth it when I know I'll be going to sleep soon. In the evenings, I can't eat even a cracker without wanting to throw up an hour or so afterwards. *sigh* Sleep may not come easily. That's the second set of sirens to go past my house in the last several hours. There have been several home invasions over the last few weeks. Yet another reason to have trouble sleeping. The only solace in all of it, most of the offenders have been caught. There's always another to take their place however. I'm going to be tossing and turning for the next few hours I think. And there's another siren...

Poor Kid

Poor Jasmine. While she was in the bath, I grabbed a doughnut from the kitchen. I had just finished eating it when she called me into the bathroom. (my husband could see her from the living room so I knew she wasn't going to drown) She wasn't in the bathtub anymore when I got in there and you could hear the panic in her voice. She had grabbed my shave gel off the sink and managed to get some of it out. Her hand must have slipped and most of it ended up on her face and in her right eye. I don't remember if I've ever gotten shave gel in my eyes before but it must hurt. I quickly got it off her face and away from her eyes but by then the burning must have kicked in. She was full out screaming. I didn't think it would last more than a minute or so but it seemed like she cried for at least five minutes. She was so upset that she was throwing up and complaining that her throat was also hurting. She was a mess. When she gets upset to that extent, I get upset. I was on the verge of crying myself. All these crazy things going through my head. I know it's pretty impossible that something in that gel was going to kill her and yet my brain can make the impossible, some how seem possible when it's the worst case scenario. I had already looked at the can and it didn't say anything about keeping it out of your eyes or any warnings. She eventually calmed down some after turning on cartoons AND reading Horton Hears A Who to her at the same time. (she insisted that her show be on and that I continue to read the book) The capillaries around her eye are all busted, creating little blood spots all around her right eye. I think all the crying probably helped wash out anything that may have made it into her eye. It definitely had to hurt. It's unbelievably hard to watch your kids be in pain, particularly when you know it's something seriously uncomfortable.

Jaded

I've not been feeling very positive today. I don't know if it's the amount of shootings/home invasions that have been happening around here, the violence in the Gaza Strip or just everything in general. I'm starting to feel a little jaded and pissed off at humans in general. I tend to be obsessive about checking local news sites and cnn several times a day. I don't typically watch the news so the only way I know what's going on in the world is by going to the websites. Reading this stuff all day is having an effect on me.

And then there's the way I woke up this morning. Yesterday, Jasmine only slept for a few hours before waking up. My husband usually has more sleep than I do since I go to bed after him so he took her and let me sleep. Today, she had been asleep for maybe five hours before I heard her start moving around and then she started talking. It only took a second or two before I figured out what woke her up. Molly was getting up over and over again, then flopping down on the floor with a sigh. The dog was actually trying to wake someone up. I tried to get Jazz back to sleep for a little while but every time she would start to pass out, the dog would get up again. Eventually, I came unhinged and went after the dog, waking up my husband. He said I looked like Godzilla getting up to destroy Tokyo. He took the dog and put her outside but by then the damage was already done. The kid was up. Molly is banned from the bedroom for a while. Hopefully, she'll sleep tomorrow morning since the bored dog will not be in here.

DDR

Imagine for a minute that you are nine months pregnant, just days away from your due date. Now what do you think would be a good way to spend your Friday night? Well, this pregnant lady jumped around her living room like an idiot for a good 45 minutes. I played Dance Dance Revolution 3. Probably not the best idea I've ever had but it was fun. ;) My husband seemed to find it pretty humorous. Did I mention it was fun? I'm sure it looked pretty goofy. I think it would be a little easier if I didn't have the giant belly. Seemed to put the kid to sleep.

Now we're sitting here watching Baby Mama. It's cute. It'd be cuter if Jasmine would sit still and Savannah would stay off my pillows.

Oops, I did it again...

For the second time this week, I pulled a muscle in my abdomen getting out of bed. I was far more careful this morning but I think that particular muscle has had enough. It kills me to bend over or kneel down. I hope this starts to feel better before I hear the words "push." ;) I told husband that I would take it easy tomorrow and then realized, I hadn't done anything to provoke the current pain.

2009 and whatnot

I am not a huge fan of the whole New Year's tradition. I don't really celebrate it. Usually, we may have a drink and watch the ball drop but we haven't went out in years. I just don't see the point in celebrating the day changing from one month to another. Some people say they hope this next year is better than the one prior or as good as the one they just had. Why can't your better year start when ever you want it to, rather than waiting till the numbers change? *shrugs* I guess I just don't get it. ;)

After dinner, Shawn decided he wanted to get started on cleaning out our bedroom so we could pull up the carpet. (ok, so he can pull up the carpet) It was around 9 by then. I didn't think there was any way we'd even make a dent in any of it. I sat on the bed and kicked things to him that I wanted thrown away. If I wasn't sitting down, I was getting told to sit down so I just kicked things to him or sat on the floor and sorted through things. Once we got everything up off the floor, husband decided he could get everything out of the room and get the carpet up tonight. I was doubtful. It was a lot of work, two dressers that needed to be cleaned out and removed, the bed, the tv, the entertainment center and of course the carpet. I hate not being able to help do things. I end up in the way a lot of the time if I can't help. Before I knew it, the room was almost empty. I decided to wipe down the walls where there had been furniture while Shawn pulled the carpet up from the strips. Once he had the carpet up, I cleaned up the furniture that was going back in the room and swept up the floor with a broom. Under our carpet was some really awful green tiles but it'll have to do for now. (the reason we have to take up the carpet is that our border collie has a bladder issue and when she's asleep, she leaks) I brought the baby bed into the room so we'd know exactly where to put our bed. (it's a co-sleeper) I began getting antsy waiting for my husband to finish hooking up the tv. I went into the living room with the dresser that would be going back in the bedroom and tested how heavy it was. As quietly as I could, I began to drag it back to the bedroom. (it really was light, I'm not just trying to make my case... haha) When I got to the bedroom door my husband let out a sigh that said I was being bad. ;) He quickly moved it into the corner of the bedroom where I wanted it. I can't help it, I don't like feeling like an invalid. After that, everything was back in the room and it was just a matter of moving it where I wanted it and putting the sheets back on the bed. It only took us about three hours from start to finish. And here I thought we'd never get it done in one night. Now... there's nothing left to do before this kid comes. That kind of freaked me out once I realized it. My dogs seem a little pissed that their soft carpet is gone. I plan on putting a rug down where Molly sleeps but the only thing I can really give Mia is some towels to sleep on, and her pillow. She only uses the pillow for her head. When she was younger, she would get on the bed after my husband would leave for work and she would always lay her head on the pillow. It shouldn't be too shocking that my husband gave up one of his pillows to her months ago. So, that's how I spent my New Year's Eve. ;)

You know, every year I forget how loud the city gets when it hits midnight. I was busy tonight so I had no idea what time it was. I had just let the dogs out to go potty when I heard this loud boom and a flash of light. I thought it was lightning. It was our idiot neighbor letting off fireworks. My dogs didn't go potty, instead they made a u-turn and ran back up the steps to the back door. When I opened the door, all I could hear were the pops of gunshots throughout my neighborhood. Jasmine was running through the house saying Happy New Year when I came back in. I told my husband the first story of the news in the morning would be the first baby born after midnight and then the first murder of the new year. I wasn't wrong. At 12:30am, police were called to a house where someone had been shot. They didn't release details on whether the person lived or died yet. I can't wait to move out of this city. Idiots.