An Animal Rescuers' Life

Work place hell

2011-12-26T01:19:00.003-05:00

I hate my job. I wake up every day wishing I could just quit or that they would find some reason to fire me. I'm wondering if there's a way for me to quite my job and go back to school and get my BA in veterinary medicine without starving to death. If I didn't have kids, I'd have already done it. I have to find some way out of what has become my every day hell. I tried to get up with a positive attitude and find something that was good about my job but when every word you type makes you want to drive off a cliff, it's kind of hard to look at the positive.

Icky Kitty

2011-02-14T02:17:00.003-05:00

If you are easily (or hell, even not so easily) grossed out... you may want to turn your back on this entry. I will get back to the 30 days meme. I had pneumonia and pleurisy for two weeks so my life was quite literally put on hold.

At some point while I was sick, Jake, aka cat from hell, aka fire kitty, had gotten out of my bedroom and lost the usual fight with my mom's kitty. A week or so later, I noticed he looked a little funny. The right side of his head was swollen and tender. Not the first time he's gotten an abscess from a cat fight. Eventually they get big enough that they pop open on their own and then are easily drained over the course of several days. I don't recommend this if you've never had to deal with a cat abscess before. I was concerned that it wouldn't open before this weekend (when I don't have the kids, I stay the weekend at my boyfriend's house, coming home briefly to feed the animals) so I used a syringe to make a small hole, however I wasn't able to get much drainage from it. A few days later, it popped on it's own. No animal enjoys having a pus filled wound squeezed and pinched to try to remove all the infection and then having a syringe full of water put in that same wound. I opened the wound daily and drained it repeatedly. Saturday, I left it alone as Jake was getting rather volatile. I knew I'd be home Sunday and could re-open it then if needed. I waited till the kids were asleep to take Jake in the bathroom and begin the process. He had a scab on his head where the first abscess had popped but I thought it was just from scratching. While I was using a warm cloth to soften the scabs so they would be easier to remove, the scab on his head came off. You know it's bad when I have to pause and turn my head for a moment. Holy cow that was a big wound. I moved on to where the infection remained. The scabs came off rather easily but nothing was coming out. I could feel that there was still infection on the side of his head. I figured the wound had healed too much and nothing could pass through. I massaged the area for a minute and when I was getting ready to try a different method, it happened. *shudder* A steady stream of pus and blood shot out of his neck. I had to stop and hold pressure to his neck before I could continue. I hope like hell tomorrow is less explosive than today. I don't know how much of that my stomach can handle on a regular basis.

2011-01-27T05:41:00.001-05:00

I no longer wonder how I fell out of love with you but how I ever fell in love with you in the first place.

Something you love about yourself

2011-01-27T05:36:00.002-05:00

I love that I'm one of the weirdest people I know. I love every quirk I have. The fact that I can open doors using only my feet, that I clap three times before I sneeze or that I eat the corners off of most hot foods that are square/rectangle before eating any other part. I love that I'm willing to give just about anyone a second chance, no matter how they've wronged me in the past. That I always have a shoulder to lean on, no matter what I'm dealing with in my own life. I love that I laugh from the depths of my soul, that I throw my head back and let as much noise out as possible. And that when I sing a song, really sing it, that I cry. I love that I will dance in the middle of a bar that has no dance floor and not feel the least bit self conscious. I love that after everything, I still wear my heart on my sleeve and have managed to keep my walls to minimum. I love the things that make me, me.

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself

2011-01-13T03:54:00.003-05:00

I hate that I put every single thing I do off till the last minute. I hate my selfishness. The fact that I can't take criticism without feeling insulted and hurt. I hate my inability to have patience, that I'm always on edge. I hate that I let you use me. And while you do, I say it's ok, no big deal, don't worry about it, let me know if you need anything else, call me. I hate that I need constant praise in one form or another in order to have a good day. I hate that the people I crave that from the most, never give it freely. I hate my inability to trust anything at face value and my suspicion of everyone's motives. I hate that you made me that way. I hate that my heart can feel broken with just a casual phrase. I hate that I don't stand up for myself to you or you. That I'd rather deal with the hurts than fight for myself. I hate that I never truly let anyone in aside from Abby. That I don't trust anyone to love me, for me. That I'd rather sugar coat who I am in hopes that, that will be enough to see past the ugly pieces of who I am. I hate that I have to feel broken in order to eventually feel whole again.

30 Days of Truth

2011-01-13T03:52:00.002-05:00

I was having a hard time deciding on doing the meme 30 Days of Truth that is going around right now. Then I woke up one day and realized I NEED to write. Most of what goes on in my life, I can't write about anymore, therefore, I needed a topic. For now, I have 30 days worth of topics. After that... I guess we'll see if I keep up on anything.

2010-10-19T16:50:00.002-04:00

If you're reading this, don't ever contact me again. What you have done to her is unforgiveable in my opinion. She's your mother for christ's sake.

Yeesh

2010-06-30T22:09:00.003-04:00

Been a while. A long while. First off, my little conundrum. I've been looking for a new home for my doberman, Cash and my pit bull, Rocky for several months. I finally get a guy interested in Cash and after a month of deciding, he comes to get him with his wife. I get a call a day and a half after they take him saying that it's not going to work out, could I call them back. (I was at work) I called back and left a message and have yet to hear from them. My mom says I shouldn't call again, that they probably changed their minds, however I don't want them to take a dog that I love and drop him off in the middle of no where. If I haven't heard anything by Saturday, I might call again just for peace of mind. Rocky went to a new home for about an hour before he was returned. Not because he did anything but because their little tiny dog attacked him and Rocky cried. They thought that eventually Rocky would get sick of the little dog and eat him.

Everything is the same with my place of employment. All good there. I've been with my boyfriend for about six months but it was icky for about six weeks. I was to the point that I was done. I didn't even hear from him for a full week at one point. Something must have bit him in the ass however as he's done a total turnaround. However, while we were on the outs, I made some awesome new friends and had a lot of fun. I'm learning about myself as I go on. It's just been slow going.

Kids are doing great. Jasmine has the attitude of a 15 year old girl. Evan has the attitude of a pissed off two year old. Someone is always throwing something or screaming. The quiet days are a blessing. I hate that I seem to have to work on the nicest days and the days I have off it's either raining or too hot to move. I want to take them to the zoo, the park and the woods. I just need a nice day to do one of them and a day off to do it. I'm thinking of just getting up early one day and driving them to Fort Wayne and going through that zoo. Oh and I want to take Jasmine to Deer Forest due to the fact that one of her little friends told her that all deer's are mean. I'd like to show her that they are not. For now we've been looking at bugs outside. haha

2010-03-19T02:15:00.003-04:00

When I was about 12 or 13, my family used to volunteer for a place called Reins of Life. It's a place for therapeutic horseback riding for disabled people. We would feed the horses every Friday morning. My brother and I only did this in the summer, when we were out of school or if we had a Friday off for some reason. I think it's the only thing we ever did as a family. We had been doing it for quite some time and were in a routine. It wasn't unusual to spend a couple of hours feeding 20-30 horses and we had gotten used to being around them and knew their personalities. One horse was not used for therapy. He was the directors horse. I'm still not exactly clear on the details as to why the horse was there but I believe it had to do with the fact that they couldn't afford to pay her the salary she was asking and they compromised by letting her board the horse there. I remember it was warmer than usual, even for an August morning. It had also rained over the days prior, leaving the normally hard and dusty paddocks to be slightly squishy but not exactly muddy. We were on the final paddock of, I believe, four with an average of five horses per paddock. We were hot, tired and getting cranky. The directors horse, Sully was a stallion and impossible. I usually tied him down as I seemed to have a bond with him. One of the most awesome and dreamlike moments of my life was with Sully. It was just him and myself in the field. I was running and suddenly, he was next to me, galloping beside me. I ran several times around the field, him next to me the entire time. It's strange but that is the most "free" I ever felt in my life. He must have been feeling just as cranky as we were because he just would not allow me to tie him to the lean-to. Each time I would almost get the knot and he would jerk his head as if to hit me in the face with his jaw. After about five minutes of this, I became frustrated and made a mistake. There was a tiny voice in the back of my head screaming as to why what I was about to do was idiotic. But as I said, tired, cranky, hot. So I bitchslapped the voice and continued on. First off, I put myself in between a horse and a solid object. Not the best place you want to be with a 1500lb animal. Second, I went behind him, knowing the state of agitation he was in. As soon as my left foot was behind his right hind hoof, He stepped back onto it. And then he shifted his weight onto the foot. It seemed very intentional and to this day, I believe it really was just that. I'm sure it was only maybe twenty seconds but it seemed like a lot longer that he was standing on me, my foot sinking further into the soggy ground. I was punching his hindquarters and telling him to move, but not quite as nicely as that sounds. On the third shove, he stepped off of my foot. It was at that moment that my dad came around the corner. He had no idea why I basically said to hell with this horse, YOU tie him down. I just walked out of the paddock as if nothing happened. I felt not pain. The tears that stung the back of my eyes were not from pain but frustration and anger at myself. I walked to another pasture with one of the other volunteers as she was there to give some medication. All the way there, I was pissed at myself but on the way back, I was beginning to wonder how I had escaped with not pain. When I got to the hay barn, I removed my shoes and socks to see if there was any damage, since I couldn't feel anything. My foot had a goose egg growing on it and was a nasty mix of purple and blue. I have never seen a bruise before or since. My mother wanted to take me to the ER, my dad said I was fine. Therefore, I decided I would BE fine. We gathered the rest of the buckets after everyone was done eating and headed home. Again, still not really feeling much but maybe a dull ache like a sore muscle. As I did every week, I immediately went to get into the shower to wash away the sweat and smell of horse manure. The exact second the first water droplet hit my foot, I felt extreme and unbelievable pain. I showered quickly and with my foot elevated so as not to get any large drops of water hurled at it as they felt like hot coals being hurled at light speed. By now, my foot was grotesquely swollen and even more bruised. I still refused to go to the hospital. It was so swollen that I couldn't even put a flip flop on to hobble to the neighbors house later in the day. I had to go barefoot and hop. Six months later, I was still bruised, visibly. I never received any treatment for my foot and have no idea to this day exactly how badly injured I was but I'm sure I should've been to an ER as I am still, approximately 13 years later, bruised. You can only see it if I've just taken a really hot shower or it's ridiculously hot out but the bruise is there. Major changes in temperature cause my foot to be very tender. I cannot have that foot massaged as it's painful to have any pressure applied to the webbing between the big toe and his skinnier neighbor toe. I don't even like to have that foot touched to be honest. One of the toes on that foot no longer bends. It should be no surprise that I am overly cautious around horses now. I never saw Sully again after that day. I know many other volunteers had gotten to the point that they refused to feed any horse in that paddock. Our family was one of the last to still be willing to feed him. And I only went back to volunteer a few more times that summer before I was back in school. I will never forget Sully. Not just for the very painful lesson I learned but also for the few fleeting moments of freedom he gave me in the pasture that day.

Spoons and Forks

2010-03-19T02:05:00.004-04:00

I've been quite introspective lately. Doing a lot of thinking and not a lot of writing. Kind of at a fork in the road and not exactly sure which road to take kind of thing. Nothing I'm posting about on here, at least not till I figure it out. You have your gut saying one thing and then you have people you trust saying another and have to decide which one to go with. I'm not sure if either is right however. *sighs*

I don't speak to half of my family. The half I do speak to, I never see because I'm always at work. Which is going well actually. I think I could easily be a bartender with as quickly as I picked up on the whole coffee thing. (there's a lot more involved than it sounds, I swear!) Only reason I wouldn't go that route is the hours. The money would be better however, as would the tips. Most I've made in tips so far was four bucks last Saturday. Enough whining. I have another post to write.

sleep, work, eat, repeat

2010-03-03T01:41:00.002-05:00

I'm in a fairly good place right now overall. I started my job as a barista in a coffee place last Monday and have been thriving. I was worried the fast pace would be stressful but you just kind of zone out and make coffee. It's nice to have a few hours that are completely thought free unless it's dead at work. I like my co-workers but then I knew them before I started so I was pretty sure that wouldn't be an issue.

I've been dating a guy for a while now and that is going quite well, in a scary way considering that I'm in the middle of a divorce. But I like him, I adore his kids and we like each other's company so I'm trying not to think too much more into it than that at this point.

I'm still on very good terms with my eventually, ex-husband and I think I always will be. I love him but not in the way you're supposed to love someone you're married to. He will always be my family, and my friend. I'm sure we will have ups and downs along the way, hell we already have but we'll work through them. My brain can't function any longer tonight so it's off to sleepyville for me.

Frustration, I haz it

2010-02-18T23:50:00.003-05:00

It's been a while, I know. I'm getting divorced, living with my mom and have a job, which I haven't started yet. There, you're caught up. Kids have been sick with colds for over a month now. I'm tired of melodramatic men and their excess amounts of baggage. It seems that the only way to date someone who is halfway normal is if you only date in your early twenties because after that, your choices go downhill. Men nowadays act more like women than ever before. They're needy, emotional and moody. If I wanted to deal with that, I would've become a lesbian a long time ago. Some days I just want to turn off my phone, disconnect the internet and hide. I've been spending a ton of time with men who are ONLY my friend and who are always just going to be my friend because at least that way I can enjoy myself without all that extra pressure and emotion. And of course with my female friends as well but having some kind of male company is nice. I think I just need a break in a major way and I have no idea how to get it.

Blech, blah

2010-01-07T02:26:00.002-05:00

Husband still isn't living here. We're still going to marriage counseling. It's been a stressful month to say the least. In next month or so, I'll be moving to my mom's so that we can turn down the electric and gas and turn off the internet. It's going to be an adjustment not living in my own place again. *sigh*

Today was... interesting. Shawn came by to visit the kids and help me out a little as I have had a nasty cold. He pulled in and noticed the garage lights weren't working so he went in the basement to flip the breaker. As soon as he flipped it, it turned off again. The only thing that he thought it could be was the extension cord going out to the cat house for the heat lamp. When he got outside, he saw smoke pouring from the shed and called 911 as he was grabbing one of the cats. The other cat is terrified of men and fled into the fire. Once I was aware of the fire, I ran outside to try and coax Jake out of the burning building. He would only meow. I grabbed the flashlight from Shawn before he had time to protest too much and ran inside to get my cat. I found him just as I ran out of air. (couldn't hold my breath any longer!) It seemed to take forever but in fact it was probably less than 30 seconds from the time I entered to the time I exited. I got up to the garage and Shawn went to reach for the cat to take him inside, forgetting his fear of men. Jake flipped out. I tried to hold onto the scruff of his neck but he used his back legs to spring from my hands, his nails gauging my right hand. I followed him into a large patch of bushes but couldn't see him, only hear his meowing. I knew he had at least been singed some as his fur was melted and black. (he's an orange tabby) By then the fire department had arrived so I was pretty sure he wouldn't be coming out. We continued to look till they were leaving. The shed is a complete loss. They took the walls off of it to stop the fire. I finally went inside to wash my hand and get a better look at it. One gauge is all the way to the bone. They are both nasty looking, made even more so by the fact that there is soot in both wounds that will not be washed away. Eventually, I took another trip outside to look for the cat, who by then, I figured was probably dead. He had breathed in a great deal of acrid smoke and I was unsure as to how badly burned he was when he had gotten away. I found him almost as soon as I crawled into the bushes and carried him inside. The cat *shakes head* must have a thousand lives. Aside from the melted fur and missing a few whiskers, he is completely fine. This, if you remember, is the evil cat from hell. I have multiple scars from this cat and have had infections from him biting me. I may end up with an infection this time as well. My hand is swelling and doesn't feel too great at the moment. By the time it was all said and done, I had soot and ash from head to toe. Even Evan managed to get soot on his legs from the stuff we brought in on us. Both cats survived however and there wasn't anything in the shed except for straw and cat food. I think I'll be coughing up tar for a while but my lungs will heal. The firemen were here within three minutes of the call. I will miss that security when we move to my mom's who lives in the middle of nowhere. Right now I can walk to the fire station it's that close.

My birthday was quite awesome. I spent it with Beth. It doesn't sound glamorous as all we did was go to a bar and play pool for a few hours but when you're with a good friend, having fun, it makes all the difference.

Happy/Merry Whatever you celebrate

2009-12-25T02:54:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas to everyone. Santa still hasn't come yet and it's 3am. My kids are going to be exhausted tomorrow. I just finished making maple creams for my grandmother's Christmas present. She is the only one who isn't one of my kids that is getting something. We just don't have the money this year.

Cash started limping a few days ago on one of his back legs. Now he won't put any weight on it at all. I took a closer look at him tonight and almost got my face bit off. He seems to be in a good deal of pain. I don't think anything is broken, I'm more worried about something being dislocated at this point. We need to find a way to get him to the vet soon. He's a clumsy dog and always tripping or falling over his long legs. I gave him a good dose of anti-inflammatory's tonight and will do so again tomorrow. Between stress and the holidays, I am exhausted. This next coming week I still have people to bake for. Two batches of kiflis and one batch of chocolate crinkles. I have an angel food cake to make at some point but it might not happen for quite a while. My birthday is on Sunday and I'm hoping to go play some pool with Beth. We have to make sure her family doesn't have any other plans for her for the holiday. ;) It feels a little selfish that I just want to spend the evening with her but I know it's the only way I can truly relax for a few hours.

Oooooh 2 in 24 hours! :D

2009-12-17T01:28:00.003-05:00

Holy smokes batman! I just realized how much food I have to bake in the next week. I have kifli's to make for my husband and a friend of ours, chocolate crinkles for another friend and an angel food cake for yet another friend. Plus, I want to bake something for work as they are taking lunch to one of the local shelters as a show of our appreciation for all they do. (kissing ass so it's easier for us to pull animals from area shelters) And then I'll need to make some of the yummy stuff that I'd like to eat around Christmas for myself and family members. Oh and we haven't even started our Christmas shopping, my birthday is in ten days, I have two marriage counseling sessions between now and then, plus the foster dog needs to go back to the vet, I need to see the doctor for pain I've been having... leave anything out? Trying not to lose my mind in the meantime. Holy hell it's going to be a long month.

Thought I should say something after so much time

2009-12-16T06:23:00.002-05:00

It always shocks me how long I can go without posting anything on here and then at other times in my life, I will post several entries every day. My husband and I are in marriage counseling now. The first session wasn't too bad but she's warned us that it will be much harder at the next one. I am not a "feelings" person so sharing them takes a lot out of me. The last one was easy and I came out feeling like I needed air in a big way. I can only imagine how I will feel after some of the next ones. We have two before Christmas and then one after before we get a little over a week break. I think I will dread every single one of them. As I said, I'm not a feelings person. I don't like to talk about them and I don't want to know about them. Many say I sound like a guy but it's just how I am. I'm at a point in my life where I've come to realize that thus far, I've been living my life for other people. That would be ok for me to accept if it was for my children but it's for every single person in my life. I do what makes them happiest, say what makes them happiest and put my own needs aside. Unfortunately, now that I've started to do, say and act in a way that might make me happy, it's having a negative effect on all those relationships. To them, I'm a different person and changed overnight. In reality, this is who I've always been but I chose to keep it inside. That doesn't mean I don't still want to make those people in my life happy and for them to have happiness but I feel like I deserve some of that as well and I don't think anyone gains anything over time if one is constantly making sacrifices for someone else. Eventually, everyone pays for it.

On happier notes, Evan is very close to walking unassisted, can clap quite well and says Uh-Oh. We never say uh-oh in my house. It's just not something we say. I'd have been less surprised to hear oh shit, than uh-oh out of his mouth. Turns out, one of my daughter's toys says uh-oh when you press the wrong button. He loves this toy and plays with it often. At least now I know where he picked up uh-oh at. Jasmine flipped off one of my friends today when he pissed her off... twice. I'm not sure if she meant to use her index finger as a 'Hold on now mister' (she was using it and her thumb to hold a sucker) or if she had actually seen one of us use that form of sign language at some point. She was told not to use that finger anymore.... through gasps as we were laughing so hard. ;)

cousin

2009-12-08T02:02:00.002-05:00

I'm so grateful my cousin was here this weekend. I don't know how I would've gotten through it without him. I love him dearly. He just seemed to know what I needed, whether it was to be distracted from things or to talk about them. Somehow, we managed to have a lot of fun over the weekend, playing cards and just talking.

I went and got my lip pierced today. It's called a monroe. It was actually fairly painless and only a little achy now. I have an excellent piercer, who also happens to be a friend. He truly cares about what he's doing, how it looks and how it's going to look later down the line. I'm not supposed to have alcohol for two weeks and try to avoid spicy foods for four. I'm making lasagna for the boys Wednesday. I just have to be really careful when eating and then rinse my mouth afterwards. There's not too much more I want to get pierced right now but that could change. I just seem to get bored. I said after the last facial piercing, I wouldn't get anymore on my face. A few years later and I've got this one. ;)

Slightly unexpected house guests

2009-12-03T04:35:00.002-05:00

My cousin and his friend, Brittany have come for a visit. There's no word on how long they'll be here but I enjoy my cousin a great deal and I'm always happy to have him. They weren't supposed to be here till tomorrow.

Me (driving home from the mall): Hello?

Chad: Hey, what are you doing?

Me: uhm, driving. where are you?

Chad: Oh, I'm here.

Me: You know it's Wednesday, not Thursday?

Chad: I know. Sooo, you're not here?

Me: No, meet me at my mom's. I have to pick up the kids.

And that's how I discovered they were here. :) Good thing I had done a little bit of cleaning before I left earlier in the day.

2009-12-01T03:18:00.003-05:00

I'm fairly fairly numb off vicodin and alcohol at the moment. The reason I haven't posted regularly? Well, tonight I am living with just myself and my kids. I don't know for how long. I don't know where my marriage is. Counseling will be had at some point but right now, I think my husband needed some air. And I think I've broken the heart of the only man to ever truly love me for the second time in our relationship. I don't know who I am anymore or what I want and I don't know how to figure those things out or find them again. I know, it's not at the bottom of a bottle but cut me some slack. I know that I have definitely found the truest friend I have ever had now that I have went through some of the worst times of my life and she has been there through it all. And never judged me for one single awful thing I have said. I can't say it enough right now Beth. I absolutely love you. I'm so glad that fate (or Dan, whichever... don't tell him I called him fate... shit his ego would kill us all) brought us together. And now I'm going to eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies.

See, I really can cook

2009-11-30T03:57:00.003-05:00

I made lasagna and garlic bread from scratch tonight. Normally I buy two jars of sauce (prego) and make it that way. Tonight I actually mixed it all myself. Took three hours, whereas it normally takes half that with the jars but it was very good. The fresh loaf of french bread with garlic, rosemary and basil was excellent as well. It really wouldn't have been the same without that pinch of rosemary. I thought the whole meal was excellent, as did the boys. It's a lot of work but well worth it. Although next time I want a higher quality of ricotta cheese. :)

My throat issues are gone as quickly as they came. I had white patches covering my tonsils, they were swollen to three times their normal size and then it was better. Like crazy voodoo. And it really didn't hurt much. I took a vicodin on Thanksgiving because I was certain my throat would be on fire and I wouldn't be able to eat but that never happened.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, ours was great. My cousin and uncle came up from Indy. And the usual relatives were there along with a few new girlfriends. I think my uncle's new woman is a keeper from what I've seen. She's very easy going and different enough from the rest of us to be interesting without being the odd one out.

Saturday we watched ND lose their asses for the last game of the season. I got very drunk in the first quarter and sat outside of half of the second. You know, I really don't know where I was for most of the second or third quarters. :D I was sitting outside for some of the time because they had a fire going and it irritated my asthma. Eventually I got used to it or was too drunk to notice anymore. Earlier in the day my mom took me out shopping without the kids. That was definitely much needed. I think I could've walked around the mall with her for the entire weekend and been happy as a clam.

2009-11-26T02:08:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving. I feel like hell. I think my tonsils are trying to escape.

We be boring, yo

2009-11-25T03:56:00.002-05:00

Yes, we're all still alive. ;) I've just been super lazy about blogging. This week, I've been watching the first and now, the second seasons of True Blood. OMG! Love this show! Makes me wish I had HBO so I could watch season 3 on demand. However, it would be the only reason I would have HBO and it's not worth it to me. I've been reading, listening to loads of music (obsessed with Regina Spektor at the moment) and listening to audio books before I go to sleep. My iPod has been getting a workout. The rest of the week will be busy. Wednesday, helping a friend move a new bedroom set into his apartment. Thursday, dinner at my mom's house for Thanksgiving. Friday, no plans yet but I won't be surprised if we end up with one or both of the boys. (I have NO plans of shopping and I don't feel like getting a tree yet) Saturday, ND football game with one of the boys. Sunday, having our own kind of Thanksgiving dinner with the boys. And I think my dad will be getting back into town this weekend as well so we may end up over there during the early part of next week. I'm not even sure where in the country he is right now but he was in Virgina and heading or Pennsylvania if I'm not mistaken.

Security is gone now. They were supposed to stay one more night but I asked Shawn to tell them not to come. I just want to be done with it. I want to be able to go get the mail in the middle of the day without having some guy watch me walk to and from the mailbox and then have to stop and make idle chit chat. Although, they were helpful today when the UPS guy came today and had a package that needed to be signed for. I don't open the door during the day for anyone so they could've knocked till their finger bled. Luckily, the security guy signed for it before they left. Back to my show....

The reason why we need security outside my house

2009-11-16T20:17:00.002-05:00

So apparently, there have been threats made against Shawn's life. Basic rundown, on Friday a guy he works with said that he was going to come in on Monday and shoot people. He told two different people this. My husband is the union steward for that area and they came to him with their concerns. Shawn was on the phone, literally, till about 11pm Friday night, trying to get someone to take him seriously. Finally, it was decided that he would be fired and his badge would be de-activated, therefore making it impossible for him to get into the building. (at least that's the idea) There was still some concern the guy could be in the parking lot however so they are having the people who's life has been threatened, park in back and are being clocked in by management. Now we come to today. The guy heard that Shawn was the main person behind making sure no one died and made a comment about coming after him. (the guy is mentally unstable at best and they believe he's doing meth) The company my husband works for decided that it would be safer for us if we had a security team outside of our house during the hours that my husband is at work. Starting tonight, I will have a guy armed in my driveway. One of the boys is also going to be staying the night tonight. We have a gun now as of last week. It's not supposed to be here but due to circumstances, it is. I have never fired something with that much power so I'm a little nervous if something were to happen but at this point, I really don't think it will. I think the guy has far more important people he wants to kill over Shawn. Starting with his ex-wife. (who is aware of the situation) So there you have it. Tonight I'll be watching a large amount of xbox and acting like there's nothing going on. I should be more concerned, I'm sure but I just don't see anything happening. I woke up to my husband telling me I would be staying at my mom's. I don't like being told what I'm going to do or what I'm not going to do. I usually do the opposite. I am staying in my home.

meme

2009-11-16T04:21:00.003-05:00

Since I don't have anything to be said on here, I'll do one of these.

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Strawberry smirnoff

2. Where was your profile picture taken? my living room

3. Can you play Guitar Hero? yes and the more distractions I have, the better I am

4. Name someone who made you laugh today. What was it about? I know there was something but I can't really recall at the moment. I'm sure it was one of the boys and I know Beth got a few out of me tonight.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why? I don't know, maybe 5am. I drank a lot and wasn't feeling well. I fell asleep listening to Craig Ferguson's book.

6. If you could move somewhere else where would you and why? Florida or Hawaii, because it's always warm and you can be in the ocean in a matter of hours no matter where you are

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? yes but it's a relationship better forgotten

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Beth

.9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? With benefits? They can be friends without it but I don't know about with. Too many feelings involved

10. Do you like Dr. Pepper? only if it's cherry

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? too recently

12. Who took your profile picture? I did

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? I think it was Evan

14. Was yesterday better than today? Why? They were about the same

15. Can you live a day without TV? Yes and I could again.

16. Are you upset about anything now? If I was, I'm not putting it on a meme

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? depends on the relationship

18. Are you a bad influence? some would see me that way but most of the time, I'm the good influence of the group

19. Night out or night in? Always out.

20. What items could you not go without during the day? there's really not much I couldn't live without at all for a day. I like to have my computer complete with internet access though and I've become pretty attached to my phone

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? my uncle Jeff years ago when he had back surgery

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? Is. (no really that was the last message)

23. How do you feel about your life right now? meh

24. Do you hate anyone? I don't typically use that word to describe people.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find? a few political/religion based emails and some about family

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? haha Yes

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? No. If they did, I'd tell them they need to seek help.

28. What song is stuck in your head? Nothing and I'd like to keep it that way, which is why I won't be sleeping with my iPod on

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2 a.m., whom do you want it to be? Probably someone I haven't seen for a while. Jimmie

30. Do you (or did you) want to have grand kids before you’re 50? Yes I would but not until my kids are in their twenties at least

31. Tell us your Saturday night. Typically, with the boys watching football or drinking

32. Do you think too much or too little? way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? Depends on the day and who is around

2009-11-13T03:30:00.001-05:00

I just don't have words in me these days. I'm trying but they're not there. And the ones that are, aren't appropriate for the world to hear. Particularly today.

Gearing up for weekendness

2009-11-06T03:59:00.004-05:00

So very glad the weekend is about to begin. Friday night is dinner with the boys and maybe some cards. Saturday, back with the boys again early in the day for ND football. I have a feeling Sunday is going to be a do nothing and feel like death day since the game is at 2:30 on Saturday and we start drinking at kickoff. Maybe afterwards we'll watch a movie, get dinner and another round of cards. My euchre partner probably would like to switch but I think he's stuck with me. It's only fair to have a shitty player on each team and well, he's stuck with this one. :) Random fact, euchre was actually a card game seems to be believed by some to have been originated by the amish. It has also been declining in popularity over the years except in Michigan, Indiana and New York. Why? Because we rock. I had no idea it was so unpopular in other areas of the US until our friend from Chicago said he hadn't a clue how to play it and begged to play poker or spades. He lost and is now forced to play euchre with us. He was up against three Hoosiers, did he really think he stood a chance in hell? I've been playing the game since I was a kid and learned watching the adults play during the holidays. And yet, I still suck majorly and lose massive amounts of points for my team. *shrugs*

This past week has been fairly nothing filled. Shawn has had a lot of stuff to do after work so it's been me and the kids hanging out night after night. It's went smoother than I figured it would. Especially since Evan has been getting me up earlier and earlier every day. Typically, after a few hours, I am in serious need of a break from baby duty. This last week I've been fairly patient. And no, there hasn't been any booze involved to keep me that way. :) Next week, hubby has another Bull's game to go to in Chicago so that's a full day trying to find something to do. I anticipate much duct tape and darts. *shrugs* Sounds like a good idea.

Weekend

2009-11-02T01:33:00.003-05:00

ND won, Green Bay lost. Sunday was a day full of cursing at my house. My hubby wisely chose to be somewhere other than home during my game. The kids huddled in the corner, sucking their thumbs and rocking in place. The more smug Favre looked, the more pissed I got. Of course, I was also nursing a slight hangover and it didn't help my mood. Went out for pizza during the third quarter and my mood still didn't improve much. Sat, watched GB lose and got made fun of about it in the process. That's what I get for going out to dinner with three Bears fans.

Trick or treating was very chilly. We went to a random neighborhood, parked on the side of the road and started walking. Jazz didn't hold out as long as I thought she would. Eventually, Shawn took Evan back to the car because he was chilly and cranky. He fell asleep before they got there, the baby, not Shawn. Afterwards, we did dinner and went to a friend's to watch the ND game. And then after the game, Shawn fell asleep. Me and the boys watched a movie, eventually one left and the other fell asleep. If I didn't have kids, I would've just said screw it and slept on the floor, however my kids were having none of that. Picky. I had to wake Shawn up to drive us home, where I promptly passed out.

Friday we went and got my netbook. My laptop died months and months ago. All this time I've been using Shawn's to get all my stuff done. The netbook works better for me. I like the compact size and it has enough memory and speed for me to be happy. Although it doesn't seem to be too in love with my iPhone. They're working out their differences and hopefully all will be well at the end of the week. I need to get my ipod full so I can start running. I went jogging last week and realized how much I missed it. It's the easiest way to get out of my own head is to run.

Playing catch up here

2009-10-27T05:12:00.003-04:00

Wow, I just realized how little I've been posting. I need to play catch up here. Lemme see... during the week nothing fantastic ever really happens. Boys were over on Thursday for dinner. Friday went out to dinner with Beth and Ken at Gino's East. We had a great time. They really are a blast to hang out with. We even went out without the kiddies! Saturday we watched the ND game at home with the boys. ND won but I was in quite a bit of pain most of the day so I couldn't have given a shit less what they did. I don't know what I did but I had pissed my shoulder off in my sleep and woke up in pain. The pain got worse throughout the day. I wanted to take something but I knew I'd be drinking later and had always been told not to mix the two. I was quite drunk after the game but still in enough pain to bring tears to my eyes so I decided to take a walk on the wild side (that or go to the ER completed blitzed) and took a tramadol. Two hours later, no pain relief so I took another one. That finally did the trick and I was in my happy place. The pain never returned after that point. After everyone left and went to bed, my tummy decided that it was not a fan of the mix of alcohol and drugs. I didn't puke but it was a tough battle. And now we come to my favorite part. Monday morning. I had been feeling like there was a cold coming on but nothing really happening for days. And then I was getting ready for bed. I kept feeling pressure building in my ear but hoped it would drain. No such luck. By 4am Monday, I was ready to pop the damn eardrum. I just wanted relief from the pain. Took a vicodin, nothing. Tried a hot pack as hot as I could possibly stand it on my ear, nothing. I looked up remedies online. None of which I had the ingredients to make. I gave in and took another vicodin. I don't know if that finally killed the pain or if I was so exhausted by then that I just passed out. I woke up still feeling iffy but only needed one vicodin through the day. Today I see the doctor for my psoriasis and I'll definitely be bringing up my ear. Now if the ringing would go away, I could sleep.

Random Shit Monday (small and late)

2009-10-24T05:12:00.005-04:00

I don't wear perfume. It irritates my asthma.

My husband still does. Therefore, he irritates me.

I would walk barefoot all year round if my feet didn't get all cold and shit on snow.

I really do love fostering dogs and cats, even though I bitch about it constantly.

I can open doors with only my toes. I can also pick up just about any object that my feet are strong enough to hold, with my toes.

I don't snore often but when I do, I guess I can wake the dead.

My boobs are the same size as Scarlett Johansson. The difference? I wear a bra that fits, not one that shoves them up to my throat for all the world to see. Although I wish I knew where she brought her regular bras. It's a bitch to find a 32F. Apparently, the size I've been wearing for quite some time (34DD) wasn't right.

The filter between my brain and mouth is occasionally broken. I say things or ask questions that to most people are inappropriate. I forget that not everyone is as open about their life as I am.

Food is good. Sex is good. Mix the two and it totally freaks me out.

I have no title for today - I'm lazy

2009-10-20T04:22:00.002-04:00

I'm not really sure what the eff is up with my back. It's been bothering me since I was pregnant with Evan. (who, btw is nine months old today) Before it seemed to be a vertebrae in my back. My doctor gave me stretching exercises to do and it has helped. There are no more stabbing pains going through that area when I lay down or sit up from laying down. Now I have a constant dull ache on the lower left hand side of my back. This is to the point where calling it an ache probably isn't accurate but as I've said before, I don't view pain the same way as some others might. I took a vicodin last night and today with it only taking off the worst of it. There's still pain and I'm still thinking every time I move that I should "probably" go to the doctor. But then I think, I'll just take care of it whenever I make an appointment for my flu shot and psoriasis. (which I've been saying I'll do for weeks) I wonder if it's not related to my IUD. And then if it is, do I continue to deal with it or have it removed?

We bought Jasmine and Evan's Halloween costume's. Omigod is that ridiculously expensive for something that is intended for ONE day. She is going as supergirl. She tried on the little mermaid, an angel and a fairy as well but the cape on the supergirl costume sold her. She stood in the tiny dressing room jumping and watching it float down behind her in the mirror. Shawn picked out Evan's costume and he is going as my least favorite character ever, Yoda. However, the costume is adorable, even has the little ears. Why don't I like Yoda? Have you heard him speak? It's like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Random Shit Monday will return. I was just too wore out this week after all the alcohol-ness I put my body through. And it may make a return this weekend. Depends if we all decide to watch the game together.

Weekend hoopla

2009-10-18T02:27:00.002-04:00

I think I'm a little dehydrated. I haven't drank much in the last, let's see, three days except alcohol and my fingers are all tingly. That whole drink gatorade thing went out the window with the first Jello shot. I didn't get as many from each box of Jello as I expected. Next time I'm going to get twice as much and per the boys request just fill the damn cups to the top rather than halving them. We had an absolute blast today even though Notre Dame lost. Jasmine had a lot of fun too even though there were no little kids around or kid toys. However, there was a cat and a medium sized snake. They kept her busy for about two full hours. I only convinced her to hold the snake once... then it licked her face and she freaked. He's probably one of the tamest snakes I have ever handled. I was quite impressed considering he was found outside someones house. (and no he isn't native to this area... he would've died this winter if someone hadn't found him)

Tomorrow I can safely say will be alcohol free as will the next, probably, week. We're going to my mom's for dinner tomorrow and then for the rest of the week, we don't have plans. We don't drink unless someone is over or we go somewhere. Ok, that's a small lie. Once in a great while I will have Bailey's mixed with milk after a more than stressful day. For now, I'm just going to drink anything that will hydrate me that isn't H2O. (it's not sitting well with my tummy after all that drinking)

Did you say relax? Why thank you, I think I'll do that.

2009-10-17T03:41:00.004-04:00

Had a fantastically awesome day. :) Went out to dinner with my friend Abby. We've been best friends since we were kids and nothing seems able to break our friendship yet. Neither one of us gets out much without the kids or husband so this was quite the treat. We ate and talked for three hours before she had to get back home as her husband had to leave for work. I hope we get to do it more often. Although some of our talk may not be... restaurant appropriate at times. Or so I gathered by some of the glances from maternally types. *shrugs* Birth control happens people, deal. :)

Afterwards, we came home to find the boys at my house. They hadn't eaten yet so we went out and got some Mexican food. Ok, so they ate, I drank some more. It was a lot of fun even if I did get intoxicated enough to get scolded by my husband. *double shrug* Come to find out, I had not offended anyone with my comments and the person they were aimed at thought they were funny. So phhhhhhbt. :) Tomorrow is more of the same. We're getting up early and getting the kids' their Halloween costumes. I'm going to grab something bread-ie to eat. Then it's off to one of the boys apartments for the ND vs USC game, Jello shots (I even made some virgin ones for Jasmine, although they're more Jello cups), drinking and then pizza. Who says life ends after kids??

Go to the Lair

2009-10-16T04:28:00.002-04:00

For Frank... and a little for Beth. :) Need a calendar? You can get an awesome one at Wild Cats Lair. (click photo above) He's also having a contest to win a free one. We actually went the entire 2009 without a calendar. Let me tell you folks, it's brutal. What day is it? Well I think it's one of those fall months since it's getting colder and my burning bush is well, burning. And it must be the end of the week because there's talk of this weekend thing. *shrugs* I'm sure the doctor's office will call after I miss that appointment and I'll know.

Weekend O' fun or not

2009-10-16T04:16:00.002-04:00

I have a feeling at some point, I may end up puking this weekend. Friday night, I'm going out with my best friend from high school. Her main objective in all of this is to get drunk. (she has four kids and a worthless husband, cut the girl some slack) I, however, will be driving and don't handle my alcohol well. I will have a drink or two when we first get there but nothing afterwards. Right now on Saturday the plan is to go to man-whore's apartment and watch the ND vs USC game. I was thinking of making Jello shots to take with us. (I have all the stuff here already so why not?) I'm still not positive we'll be going over there as I need to get Jasmine's Halloween costume and Evan's too for that matter. However, I'll feel like a real bitch if I make my husband miss this game or watch the kids so we can get costumes. We can always go Sunday but Sunday is MY football day. I suppose we could get an early start on Saturday, get the costumes, rush back home and pick up the shots. Or I could drop off the shots on the way there and then we wouldn't have to go back and forth. (castle point Beth/Ken) I'm fairly bad with Jello shots. They taste good so they can't possibly be liquid poison, right? After a couple, I forget how many I've had and have a few more. I've consumed large amounts of alcohol this way without realizing it. The drunkest I've EVER been was from Jello shots. It's the only time I actually felt like I was in a fun house and the walls were all tilty. I'd better take some Gatorade with me to drink while I'm drinking or it's not going to end well at Gino's later that night.

Pizza is oh so goooood

2009-10-15T04:27:00.002-04:00

Saturday we tried the new pizza place here in town. We only live a few hours from Chicago, so naturally, we have a new Chicago pizzeria. And omigod is it good. I have become absolutely obsessed with Gino's East pizza. We plan on going again this weekend at least once. Man-whore friend invited us out there for dinner, even canceling man-whoring to go. And I'd like to get my mom up there one night to try it. I haven't done the deep dish yet. I honestly don't know how much I would like it for the simple fact that for me, it's all about the cheese and the sauce comes second. We actually plan on several Chicago trips in the next few months now. It was just going to be for the Cirque show, but now we also want Chicago pizza and to roam the city.

The day after my post about Cricket and my concern for her, she p.l.a.y.e.d. This was a major turning point for her. She doesn't understand play. How to play with people or other animals. She had been outside for an hour or two so when she came in, she was fired up and happy to see us. She would run up to me and slam on the doggy brakes, I would stomp my foot and she'd run around the living room and slam on the doggy brakes again, waiting for me to stomp. It was great and she got lots of loving after she calmed down. I can't even put into words how huge of a leap that was from the day I got her. She still hates cats but she's able to be in the same room with them without doing the Elvis. Unless she's in a crate and they're out and about, then she just goes batshit crazy. (no, really)

Dinner went very well tonight. As I've said before, man-whore makes quite the nice buffer between me and the antagonizor. It helped that I had a Bailey's and milk (or two) before and with dinner. The boys both left full with what was probably man-whore's first homemade meal in who knows how long. Now I have a killer headache from the Bailey's. This never happened when I was younger. Damn you aging process! Damn you!

The Mare's Tales Giveaway

2009-10-14T03:25:00.002-04:00

Jennifer is doing a Halloween giveaway on her blog. She'll will be giving away one of her gorgeous hand painted pendants. If you win, it's going to be super difficult to choose one!

http://gypsymare.blogspot.com/

Crazy, weird and grumpy

2009-10-13T04:28:00.002-04:00

I'm really not sure what to do with Cricket. I need to do some research and ask around to see where to go from here. I have her crate in the kitchen. We weren't crating her at all but she has a mild case of kennel cough therefore, she can't sleep in the bedroom with us. (too close with on of our other dogs and wakes up me and the kids with her hacking) Now that she's crated at night, it's nearly impossible to get her to come out of the thing. A normal dog would fly out of there the second you open the door in the morning. Cricket wags her tail fast enough to take flight but she doesn't come out. I have to snap a leash on her to get her out and then take her outside. (she won't go outside unless she has a leash on either) If I leave the crate door open, she will go back in it and sleep all day long. If she feels safe there, I feel like I should leave the door open. On the other hand, she needs to learn how to live in a house, not hang out in a crate. I feel like I should be doing something to get her to the point that she can be adopted without the adopters having a nightmare of a time getting her to interact with them. But I have no idea what to do. She is also extremely bad with cats. I have no doubt that she would eat them if I was not in the room to stop her. She acts as if they were mean to her at one point and time and now she wants payback. It doesn't appear that she enjoys it either. Most dogs when they chase a cat or bark at them have a happy look in their eyes. A kind of wooooohooooo this is gonna be fun! But Cricket just looks crazed and angry. After doing a small amount of research while writing this, I've found that most of the stuff I'm doing is the right thing to do but it's so tedious and feels like I'm not doing enough for her. At least I know I haven't been further damaging her.

I mentioned the other day that there's been some weirdness. I have recently and surprisingly, become friends with one of my husband's male friends. It's surprising because I have not been his biggest fan since the second I met him. He looks at most women as if they are his prey. That still bothers me but at least I feel that I can call him out on it. He also has a habit of flirting with anything female. No matter who they are married to, myself included. He's getting better, at least with me. The thing I didn't expect from him is he wants to change. He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life hopping from bed to bed. I originally started talking to him (facebook go figure) because, well, I find his life to be sad. I thought maybe he could use a female influence in his life that has no plans of ever sleeping with him. He also works as a nice buffer between me and my husband's other friend who I constantly bump heads with. He who thinks women are beneath men, is racist, homophobic and just everything I feel strongly against. I don't think he used to having a woman voice her opinion and then stick by it no matter how much he talks. I tend to have my husband invite them both if he's going to invite that one. The whole situation with the man whore just came out of no where. At first I told my husband he was getting a little out of line with some of the things he had been saying to me but that I would handle it if it happened again. It hasn't thankfully. I'm cooking for both of them on Wednesday actually. I'd rather it was only the man whore but the man whore wasn't comfortable not inviting the instigator since we all became friends through the instigator.

My kittens are doing fantastic. Shocking since they were so dirty and grimy. They were brought to me almost straight from the shelter and looked like they had been picked up off the side of the road. So far, no issues as far as health. Momma cat has a great deal of dislike for anything canine. I'm going to work with her a bit but I don't think she's ever going to change her opinion. Her kittens don't seem to mind them so I'll keep them socialized with the dogs. I'll probably add their pictures on here tomorrow. I just don't have the motivation to do it right now.

Quick Entry

2009-10-12T07:10:00.003-04:00

My cat, Isaiah had his follow-up appointment on Saturday. He has the lesser of the two evils, which is immune mediated hemolytic anemia. For now he is on 15mg of Prednisone a day. (wow) His levels haven't improved very much, however, they haven't gotten any worse since being on the medication. His white blood cells were slightly elevated so they gave him some antibiotics to be on the safe side. Prednisone can lower your ability to fight off infections so we have to be careful. He goes back in sixty days for another cbc. It'll be a little cheaper appointment since they no longer have to do a chem panel on top of it all. We're going to try and go back to the pill form of the Prednisone as the the liquid has become... difficult. I thought it would be easier to just stick a syringe in his mouth but he hates this stuff and foams at the mouth after I give it to him. He's been quite violent (unlike him) when it comes time to give him the medication. If his levels start to get worse at some point, we will have to add another medication. It costs close to a hundred a month so hopefully that won't happen.

Random shit Monday

2009-10-12T02:46:00.002-04:00

I hate bra manufacturer's. They seem to think boobs only go to a C. A DD is unheard of in their world.
I always think I'm a year younger than I actually am. I can't tell you how many surveys I've filled out asking for my age and put that I was younger. And no, my age doesn't bother me, which is why it's even weirder.
I don't like white rooms. Give me color any day.
I never sleep on my stomach - ever.
I have no idea how to use potpourri but I want to have some and keep it around like a little old lady.
I own more underwear than anyone I've ever met. I can go weeks without washing any and not run out.
When I was a kid, I fell out of a tree. Onto a broken toilet. I still have a good sized scar from it as a result of not getting stitches. Thanks dad.
I have no idea how to correctly apply make-up and basically just wing it every single day.
I am the queen of random bits of knowledge. I know a little about everything but not everything about one thing.
I plan to do this every week until I can't think of anymore random shit.

Poor baby

2009-10-11T06:00:00.002-04:00

My little man has not slept well at all tonight. Why? About an hour and a half before bedtime, he fell head first out of his high chair onto the floor. I've had to put him back in bed five times now. I gave him some Tylenol but after a thump like that, you're bound to have one hell of a headache. And no, I'm not too terribly worried about it being anything severe. He cried for maybe three minutes, saw something on the floor (I was sitting with him on my lap), became interested in it and forgot he just tried to break his brain. He has quite the ugly bruise on his head though. And yes, I feel like shit that I didn't strap him into the seat. I was cleaning out a bottle for him at the sink and had the high chair about a foot and a half away from me. I thought I'd see if he was moving around and be able to sit him back down. I haven't the slightest as to exactly how it happened. I just heard the awful, awful noise of him hitting the floor. It really is the worst noise I have ever heard in my life. Worse even than rolling the truck. And it keeps replaying in my head to the point that it makes me want to go throw up. At least my kids have a high pain tolerance. I think most kids would've hollered for quite a while after that. He scooted on the floor for a while, bothered his sister and then played with some toys. As well as getting very annoyed with me as I continually checked his pupils and his response to me talking to him. I was given the look of death more than a few times for getting in his line of sight of shiny things. :) It's been a long and strange night. (more on the strange part later, I need me some sleepssss)

2009-10-09T02:29:00.002-04:00

My best friends' little girl has an appointment with oncology. She is a year younger than Jasmine. They don't really know anything yet. The only reason she knows that her white blood cell count was very low was because her best friend works at the hospital and was able to look at the file. I absolutely feel sick for them. I know if it was one of mine, I would feel panicked until I knew exactly what was going on and that it's not cancer. I want to throw my kids in the car and head to Texas to be with them. That's obviously not a possibility.

Crazy Cricket

2009-10-07T00:47:00.003-04:00

When we first brought her in the house... she just cowered. She would move through the house and then suddenly cower. If there was a loud noise or one of us spoke too loudly, she hit the floor. I eventually coaxed her into our bedroom, put down some food and just kind of hung out for a while. I'd only had two hours of sleep so I wasn't really in the mood to run around the house with a strange dog. It wasn't long before she learned that the bed is far more comfortable than the floor. She hasn't had an accident in the house yet. Did I mention she's never been in a house? She's believed to be between 2 and 3 years old, although it can be harder to tell with puppy mill dogs. She has scars on her face and her entire left ear is scarred and has hair missing. We don't know if this was from getting beat up by other dogs or from trying to get out of the cage. If it was from fighting, I can tell you right now, Cricket didn't go looking for it. We're hanging out on the bed and she's panting like she's going through menopause so I turn the ceiling fan on. No big deal, right? I forgot the dog had never been in a house before. To her, the ceiling fan was coming to attack her, possibly chopping off her head in the process. I honestly think if I hadn't turned it off when I did, she would've tried to go through my walls. It took a while for her to recover. Once my husband got home, we had to leave as we had a showing for the house today. Oh, I didn't mention that? Yeah, that's because I didn't know till about six hours before the people were set to show up. We load up the car with Cricket and one of my foster kittens since I had to go drop him off at Petsmart anyway. (oh and we threw the kids in the trunk... can't leave 'em behind, it's the law) We come home and no one is in the driveway so we're free and clear. The phone rings before I even have a chance to sit down. It's our realtor and the people suddenly can't come and will have to reschedule. Gee, thanks for all the warnings in advance. We convinced Cricket to go outside for a while with my husband. When she came back in, it was time for us to eat dinner so we left her in the backroom. (we found out very quickly earlier in the day that she will go to extremes to get human food) When we brought her back in, it was like starting all over again with her. She was scared, had to get used to us moving around all over. She's been better the last two hours though. I was told she didn't seem to have much of a prey drive. I'm finding that's not really true. She goes on the defensive with any and all animals. If the cat walks past her, she gives him the Elvis lip. If he hesitates (just like hey doggy what's up? Not, dude I will scratch that look right off your face) at all, she's snipping at them. And if they run, she's running and snipping at them. It was the only time she's actually been yelled at because I was afraid she was going to get my daughter's cat. She hasn't met all of our dogs yet. I didn't want to overwhelm her. I saved the two most dominate dogs for later. She's been outside with all the herding breeds that we have though. It went well other than her frequent giving of the Elvis lip. They don't really seem to know what to make of her. They're very 'you sniff my butt, I sniff your butt, then we play' kind of dogs. She's more 'get the hell away from my ass and let me wander about by myself.' Hopefully she'll learn to play with others in the coming weeks. I would hate for her to be an only animal as it's much harder to adopt out any animal, whether it be a dog or cat, that has to be the only pet. Now, I think I'll try to get some sleep. Hopefully nothing weird happens in the middle of the night and freaks her out. I don't want to wake up to that.

I feel all right now

2009-10-06T05:05:00.003-04:00

We're all sitting around watching The Big Bang Theory last night. Penny stays the night at Leonard's apartment. She's in their kitchen, making breakfast. She has the radio on and is dancing around wildly. Right about then, my husband says incredulously "Do people actually DO that?" I looked at him with a kind of half embarrassed but really not smile and said "You mean when they're making chocolate chip cookies in the middle of the night?" Jasmine has seen me dance in ways that no one else probably ever will, freely with complete abandon. It's almost always while I'm baking or cleaning. After all, cleaning is a great deal more enjoyable with the radio on so why not dance as well? We danced last night to a ton of cheesy 80's music. ("Mony, Mony" being one we heard on a few stations during the course of two hours, however it was the 60's version, not Billy Idol's we were listening to) I think I burned two days worth of calories as well. My favorite music to dance to is the cheesy stuff though. It's fun to sing to, fun to listen to and it gets stuck in your head.

I probably won't be getting much, if any sleep today. One of the women with the rescue is bringing over some fosters for me. Yes as in plural. The plan was to get the border collie sometime this week. However, this foster also has a (gorgeous) cat that had kittens. Only one has survived so far and to be honest, she's not great with kittens so she asked if I wanted to take them. Orange will be going to Petsmart tomorrow for however long we're there so I'll be losing one and gaining two. (as far as cats go) Sounds like the momma is a so/so momma therefore, she will have to be caged with her baby. I would prefer not to bottle feed anyone but I will if she turns into a bad momma.

Random shit monday

2009-10-05T06:24:00.003-04:00

I love rock music.
I hate Metallica. (that noise you just heard, was my brother's head exploding)
Our bed is what my husband likes to call a hillbilly queen. We took a queen box spring, turned it sideways and put two twins on top next to each other. We can't afford a new mattress and the other one was k.i.l.l.i.n.g. my back.
I can't stand people who live their lives as if they're checking things off the list.
My second toe is much longer than my "big" toe.
I can bend my fingers in unusual positions that make people think "Ow"
I can touch my tongue to my nose.
I don't have a favorite color.
Which means, I don't have a least favorite color.
It annoys me when people type LiKe ThIs.
I frequently give my time to others.
I only like to drink water if it is almost frozen.
I hate the taste of cranberries and raspberries.
I don't typically use the word hate.
I am violent when you wake me up... and I never remember it.
My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure what color my eyes are.
My body is not made for cold weather and I bitch constantly if I'm chilled.
I love sledding. :)
It annoys me that I don't try harder to use my large vocabulary.
I prefer to get up at 10am.
This rarely, if ever, happens.

Around and about

2009-10-04T04:46:00.002-04:00

My husband is going to have a CT scan done of his sinuses. He goes to the doctor for sinus infections more than anything else. And it wasn't even his doctor that made this decision, it was the nurse practitioner. He only saw her because his doctor didn't have any time available to see him. (he went back because the antibiotics weren't working at all) She argued with the other doctor about sending him to get the scan but held her ground and eventually he gave in. I don't see any reason for them not to send him to get the scan, other than they keep raking in money by having him sick all the time. We have awesome insurance so it's not like anyone is going to get stuck with an unpaid bill. I really don't care for the doctor he sees. My kids and I go to a doctor at a completely different practice and I absolutely love him.

Evan is very close to crawling now. He can army crawl across the floor pretty fast when he sees something he knows he's not allowed to have. Or when he wants to annoy his sister. He also pulled himself up to a standing position tonight by himself, using his Within Arm's Reach bed. (I don't know what else to call it, it's not a bassinet but it's not a play yard either so I just use the name it goes by) I think by the end of the month I'll have to move him to a crib. I was hoping that I could just keep using this thing for quite some time but now that he's really getting good at pulling himself to a sitting position, I just don't see it as a safe option. I want to get bumper's but I haven't decided yet what is the best option as far as that goes. They're readily available and yet you're told not to put anything soft and squishy in the baby's bed with them because of SIDS. However, if I don't put anything in a crib with him, he's going to get his arm's and leg's stuck in the thing a thousand times a night. This is a kid who likes to sleep with his face pressed against the side of his current bed, no way am I going to get away with not putting anything in a crib. It's a large part of the reason that Jasmine never used a crib. I was terrified of the risk of SIDS and the bumpers but without them, she was constantly hurting herself and waking up screaming. Eventually, you give in, let them sleep with you or else you lose your mind from lack of sleep. I'm currently looking for soft soled shoes for him as well. I feel strongly that children who cannot walk confidently, should not be in shoes. Therefore, I am looking for something that will keep his feet warm, stay on his feet and is very soft and bendable so as not to cause any problems walking. I was lucky with Jasmine, when she started walking, it was summer. The only person in this family that frequently wears shoes in the summer, is my husband. The rest of us prefer our feet to be free.

I'm sure by now I've started to drive the other foster crazy who has the border collie. I was hoping to get her sometime this weekend but it's been a busy weekend for the rescue as far as events go. The first night I was thinking, 'I'm not totally sure I want to do this' but after that I've just been getting more and more excited about having her. Especially after hearing more about her. She is apparently slightly cross eyed. I've never even had a cat that was cross eyed and I've had several siameses. She sounds very sweet and well mannered. I'm not sure the condition of her teeth. Many of the dogs that came from this puppy mill were kept in crates constantly. This is one of the worst things you can do to a border collie. It will literally make them crazy. They are extremely intelligent and need a goal, something to do or they become destructive. Most of the border collies in puppy mills end up with corroded teeth from chewing obsessively at the bars and many have scars on their face from trying to chew out. It's really awful. One of the dogs we received from TN is going to need extensive dental work before she can be adopted out. I believe the one I'm getting and the other that needs the work both have urine burns from laying in their own feces. And yet, these dogs come out of it all and seem almost like they lived normal dog lives. I know from working with retired greyhounds that there is always a characteristic you can pick out from certain breeds to just kind of know they didn't live a privileged life. Typically, with retired greyhounds, you will rarely see their ears perked up. They are almost always back against their heads and they carry themselves a little differently. It's not so much something I can explain as something you have to see and be around to really get. I'm just looking forward to showing Cricket that her life is about to do a huge change. She will have a life that she never dreamed possible while living in those cages. She will sleep on human beds and run through a yard with other dogs. She will sleep in silence instead of listening to dozens of barking, restless dogs.

Playing Catch Up not to be confused with Ketchup

2009-09-30T23:26:00.003-04:00

I've been super tired lately. Shawn has been sick for, jeez, I lost count how many days now. Around a week and a half I want to say. Fever, chills, face hurts, coughing, etc. I finally got him to go to the doctor yesterday. He doesn't seem to know what's going on so he just gave him antibiotics. He's needed a tooth pulled for two weeks now and suddenly decided this morning would be a good time to do that. You know, since he's already in so much misery, why not add to it? I've gotten very little in the way of time off from kids since he got sick. I'm doing my best to be understanding but I want to kick the crap out of his white blood cells, guide them in the right direction and get this over with!

I found out a few days ago that when Shawn took my cat to the vet, the vet told him not to expect him to live more than ten days. He didn't tell me that because he didn't want me to freak out. I get not telling me the first or second day (I was already a bit upset at the thought of him dying) but I would've liked to know that I may not have very much time left at all with him. He's been holding steady since that vet appointment, up until the last few days. His eyes are weepy again and he seems to be sleeping more. Still eating and drinking though and Jasmine said he tried to dart into the kitchen before she could close the door so that's a good sign. He goes back for more blood tests in a week.

Next week I'll be fostering a dog. I know, I didn't think I'd do ANY dogs for a long time. However, we ran into some issues at the rescue. We took in several border collie's from a puppy mill seizure and then there were, I believe, 35 dogs seized from the next county over. The shelter they were taken to is a kill shelter and is one of the ones we deal most closely with. When they called to ask if we could lighten their current load a bit, we agreed, knowing if we didn't, they would surely be up for euthanasia. (the 35 cannot be adopted out until they are given over or the court gives them over so for now, they are taking up space) We are taking one of the border collies. I really don't have much information on her other than she hasn't went potty in her crate in the last two days. :) And she's very submissive. I don't have any dogs that are overly aggressive but if another dog shows a lot of dominance, Cash gets a little pissy. We haven't had a dog in about a year now so I'm a little nervous at my own dogs reactions. I'll just do it like I always do, toss them out the backdoor and hope for the best. (we do it one at a time, not the whole pack at once) I'm not sure of the conditions of the puppy mill that she was kept at or the conditions she was in when she was seized. I may or may not learn more in the next week. They came from TN so we may not actually know a lot. Again, I'm nervous but getting excited about it as well. I love the herding breeds and this is only the second herder I have gotten to foster and we had the last one such a short time, maybe a few days.

I've been playing phone tag with my OB the last few days. As I stated before, I suddenly had bleeding and some other things that concerned me. Quite frankly, I thought I was having a miscarriage. I thought on the IUD that would be extremely rare but after doing some research, I found that it does happen and usually the first year of the placement. The doctor doesn't seem too concerned, had me take a pregnancy test, which was negative (at home) and told me to call back if things don't improve. If something like this happens again, I think I'll have it removed. I don't want to think I may keep getting pregnant and then having miscarried because of this thing. I don't want to have another baby for a while but I would rather have it go to term than have that happen. I still need to make an appointment for my psoriasis but this took precedent (did I use that correctly?) for the moment.

The three kittens we have right now are doing fabulously. Although I was bitten by Mango earlier tonight. I washed and washed and then washed again. I know what those infections feel like and I'd like to avoid it if at all possible. We're still working on getting him used to dogs and stupid me was holding him when Savannah walked by. Savannah is now scarred for life. (mentally not physically) She thinks kittens came straight from hell to hiss, spit and claw at her. She seems to think adult cats are completely unrelated to the smaller things from hell. The other two kittens pretty much act as if dogs do not exist and would gladly walk over top of them, rather than around. Typical cat.

Odds, ends and the like

2009-09-25T04:31:00.003-04:00

Here I thought I was falling into a depression again. Nope. I was pmsing. Why didn't I realize that? Because I haven't had a period since July. Now suddenly they're back. I don't know if that's normal but since I need an appointment with my OB soon anyway, I might as well ask if the IUD needs to be checked. I know it's still in there because I can feel it when the screamer jumps on my stomach.

I also need to see about my psoriasis. I've had a spot of it since the end of my pregnancy with Jasmine, on my ankle. It's noticeable enough that I've had people ask me about it but it isn't spreading, nor has it bothered me so I've just kind of stopped with any creams. That is until recently. It's spread to my chest and I'd like to, you know, not have it do that. I'm going to try and get my doctor to refer me to a dermatologist since when I showed him the spot on my ankle he was kind of 'I guess that's what it could be.' I don't care for that answer anymore. I want someone to say, here is the expensive cream that will erase it.

Allergies have been out of control. Jasmine wakes up every day sniffling and sneezing. She then spends the day that way. I have been on and off throughout the days. I'll sneeze nonstop for ten minutes and then be good for a few hours. Allergy medicine is kicking my ass though. I take it, fall asleep, wake up, take some more, fall asleep. I usually have a prescription for some stuff but I didn't think I needed it anymore since I've been good up until recently. Dummy.

Shawn spent the last couple of days in bed with a 103 fever. I've been without my helper. :( Of course, the kids choose the worst days to act like monsters from hell. My day was spent stop doing that, stop doing that, stopdoingthat, stopdoingthat, STOP DOING THAT!!!!!

Evan has two bottom teeth and keeps biting himself, which ends with him sobbing. It happens a good ten thousand times a day. Give him a cookie and you're guaranteed to see him bite down on at least one finger. Sometimes he doesn't even have food in his mouth. He just bites down and hurts his gums on the top half of his mouth. I've muttered under my breath 'baby's are stupid' a good dozen times in the past two days. If you gnaw on your hand and it hurts, stop doing it. I'm just sayin'.

And the vet massively screwed up the neuter on one of my fosters. I've seen this procedure done dozens of times. I honestly think I could DO this myself. And yet the new vet managed to cut the wrong wire. I'm glad she's not on the bomb squad. Kitty was in the hospital for I think five days and nights and seems to have come quite close to dying. (I don't know as I wasn't the one to speak to the vet, the other foster handled it) He is out now but will not be coming back with us as he has several adopters interested in him. We will be getting several of them back for a time.

Grandpa

2009-09-21T04:13:00.006-04:00

As a kid, I would follow you from room to room. I didn't do it intentionally. I would be playing, look up and no one would be around, so I'd find you, sit down and start playing some more. Eventually, I'd look up and no one would be around, so I'd find you again. You weren't avoiding me, you just had things to do that didn't require sitting around while I played at your feet. On the rare occasions you were sitting (nascar is on or football but usually it was for nascar), I would sit in front of your chair but not in front of the tv and either keep myself busy playing quietly or watch as you blew smoke rings to the ceiling. (back before you quit) When it was warm outside, you would sit in one of the chairs with the radio on, a dog at your feet and I would run around the yard. There was never much in the way of speaking, unless you were singing along to the radio or asking me if I wanted some chocolate covered caterpillars, crickets or ants, and we liked it that way. At night, we were always the last to sleep. You would sit down in one of the recliners (which I now own and plan to reupholster) and I would sit on the my bed made of egg cartons. Grandma had bought proper beds but us kids always preferred to sleep on the floor in the living room. You would usually watch the country music channel or an old John Wayne movie. The line dancing I could've done without but I did enjoy watching the duke. Late into the night, you would give in and go to bed, giving me access to the remote control. I would spend hours watching Golden Girls or I Love Lucy. The next morning you'd barely be able to finish your coffee before I'd be awake and back at it. There was only one time I can ever remember you getting stern with me my entire life and I deserved it. I was four or five, testing the limits of your patience. We, you, grandma and myself were watching tv and I was crawling through the drapes. No matter how many times you asked me to stop, I would just continue on when I thought you'd stopped paying attention. I would've gone after me a long time before you did. As I grew older, the only thing that changed was that I didn't play anymore but I still wasn't usually more than a room away from you. I can only imagine what you were thinking all those years. 'Damn kid won't give me two seconds of peace.' I always wanted the man that I married to have the same sense of values that you did. And when you met Shawn and instantly had a bond, I knew I was doing ok.

During those teenage years, I did things that I shouldn't have and all along worried that you would find out and it would disappoint you. Even though you had been a smoker, I never wanted you to know I was one, although I think you had a pretty good idea. I wanted you to be proud of the person I was becoming. After all, as a child, you were a god to me, infallible and infinite. All it would've taken to get me to stop doing anything at all, would've been a look of disapproval from you.

After Jasmine was born, I was intrigued by the attachment she had to you. The bond that you shared was immediate and binding. You were two kindred souls. There was not much communication on her part, other than smiling every time she saw you or heard you voice in another room and yet there was a perfect understanding that you were the same. She, too, would've followed you from room to room. The only difference is, I don't think she would have the ability to keep as quiet.

All those years you were the strongest person I knew. You could do work that it would take several men hours of work to accomplish. The only time I think you looked back and thought maybe you should've had someone else do a job, was when you were pulling that old post out of the ground for my mom. You remember, the post that went through the back window of the truck that you were sitting in. It probably damn near scared the shit out of you but hearing my mom's voice full of panic caused you to laugh. I'm sure she thought she'd need an ambulance for you and here you were laughing at her. It wasn't long after that however, that you were putting up the wood fence there. You were down to the gate that had been giving you all some trouble. I was on the deck and our eyes met. It's one of the few times I could truly tell you were in pain. It must have been something awful too because you never left a job unfinished.

It seems like months later that they finally sent you in for xrays and found the mass growing in your lung. Then, everything moved in fast forward. It didn't seem like we had a chance to catch our breath before we were in the hospital, waiting for you to come out of surgery. Mom and I, met you and grandma at the hospital to be checked in. They let us see you after you'd gotten some of the medication to relax you. They were signing forms and you told me to take a flower. I looked puzzled for a moment before I realized you were a bit high and thought that the flowers attached to the pen were real. I don't remember if I'd slept that night or not. The waiting makes you sick. You want to shake someone and ask them what the hell is going on. Our family took up a good portion of that little waiting room. I'm sure they were relieved when we were told you were in recovery and we could all go back and see you. I thought I could be strong enough but when I saw the tubs coming out of your chest and all the wires attached, I felt sick and knew if I didn't leave the room immediately, I was going to pass out. The nurse asked a family to move off the couch so I could lay down for a few minutes. The elderly gentleman said he understood as his granddaughter had the same reaction upon seeing his wife in recovery.

We all walked on egg shells for quite some time after your surgery. You healed, slowly. We were worried that every scan would show it was back or had spread. You did too. You were convinced it had come back. And eventually, you were right. Only it had nothing to do with the cancer that had been in your lungs. This was a whole other monster, one that couldn't be removed with a scalpel. This one was living in your blood. The doctors put you on a new type of chemo that you could take in pill form. We thought we had plenty of time before the cancer would take it's toll. I had just seen you a day or two prior. My mom took a day off work just for the hell of it, when the phone rang. The caller id said it was from the hospital. I answered it. Grandma was on the other end and I knew immediately, it was bad. We were dressed, ready to go and to the hospital quite quickly, looking back but at the time I worried that we weren't driving fast enough. You were still in the ER when we got there. Grandma had calmed down a little. You were having trouble breathing to the point that she called an ambulance. You had pneumonia but waited till there was no stopping it to rear it's ugly head. I didn't leave the room to hear what the doctors had to say. I didn't want to hear them if it meant it couldn't be said in the room. Eventually, they moved you up to the cancer ward. I thought you were doing better. I didn't want to see the truth. I even tracked down your nurse when I went to get a pop and asked her if you didn't have the DNR, if there would be some way to remove the excess fluid from your lungs. Yes, I would've tried to go against your wishes if it meant saving your life. I just couldn't stand the thought that something completely treatable would be the thing to snuff out the brightest candle to ever burn. When it happened, I felt like they were going to have to drag me from the room. The nurses wanted to make the room more presentable for family that was yet to come. I, on the other hand, felt like if I let go of you, it was really over. If I let go of your hand, the connection would be broken, I would be broken. A part of me would be taken and I would no longer be whole. If it had been a nurse to pull me off of you and not my mom, I would've hit them. I don't doubt that for a second. I wasn't ready. But I never would've been ready. The only sound I could hear were my mom's voice and my soul being torn apart. Jasmine had been silent the entire time. She sat in her car seat for at least an hour. Within a minute of your passing, she was inconsolable. It got so bad that I had Shawn take her to his mom's house for a few hours. But not before I let her sit on the bed next to you and touch your hand. It was the only time she stopped crying. She was only four months old.

I would never have been anywhere different than by your side that day. I know some people would never watch their loved ones pass away. For me, there wasn't a question. There was nothing anyone could've offered me to have taken me away from that hospital that day. That piece is still missing but I feel you around me. When grandma broke her arm on Christmas day a few years ago, we talked about the jokes you would've made, once you knew she was going to be ok and was fully doped up on pain killers of course. I say melonwater now instead of watermelon. I can only imagine how mad grandma was when she realized that's why my aunt didn't know what a watermelon was. Someday, I'll eat a twix and ask my kids if they want a chocolate covered caterpillar. I'll bit into it and say "See, it's still fresh and chewy on the inside." I don't think any of us kids took any candy you ever offered us. Too afraid it would actually be made of bugs.

I will always carry me with you but I can never get that piece back. After a while, crocodile.

2009-09-20T02:20:00.004-04:00

I have a post in mind for today but I just don't have it in me tonight to do it. My head hurts and I don't want to sit here and cry, making it worse. Today, (20th) Evan is 8 months old. Also today, my grandfather passed away four years ago. This has been, for me, the worst year with him gone. After awhile, Crocodile.

I know, I'm rambling

2009-09-19T02:18:00.003-04:00

I don't know exactly what is going on with me lately. I'm exhausted, depressed, angry... just about every not good emotion you could want to have. I'm not sure if I've been taking my anti-depressants regularly. It's not unusual for me to miss one or two a week as kind of a way to make them last longer. Missing two in a week wouldn't cause me any problems but more than that might. In all honesty, it's probably been coming all along and I've just been in denial about it somewhat. I figured I could handle all the stress and weather the storm a little better than I would've in the past. And I suppose I am, better than back then. I just thought I could avoid this feeling all together. I need to de-stress and I don't know how. Really, I don't know what helps me feel less stressed out. When I lived at my mom's, I would sit outside for a while and just listen to the birds. Can't do that now because one kid will want me or my husband will have had enough of the screamer. I think a great deal of my headaches the last two months have been due to stress. You can only blame your sinuses for so long before you have to realize it's something else. Some days the kids seem to make everything a thousand times worse, other days, they're the only thing that keeps me from banging my head into a wall repeatedly. Jasmine knows just the right things to say some days and Evan knows just when to smile out of no where. And I know a part of it is the time of year. A very big part of it this year more than the others for some reason. We tried leaving the kids with my mom for a few hours, thinking it would help me. But it really didn't. I felt the same way with them here as I did without them here. Although, at times, it's nice to only have one of them with me at a time. Like today. I just took Jazz and we went shopping with my mom. Yes, the same woman who sliced up her tendon with a nail is now out shopping. Granted, there was a lot of limping involved but she was out. Now come to think of it, I felt pretty decent most of today till I had to come back home. It's not home that is a problem, it's reality, I think. When I'm here, reality is right. in. my. face. When I'm out, my mind can wander to cute clothes or sweet animals. Hopefully, once we're past this weekend, things will start to feel better. The sooner it's over with, the sooner I can dread it for next year. But at least for this year, it will be over. And then again, maybe I'll take up a Xanax habit. That's a joke by the way. No interventions necessary. I promise, less whining in the future but this weekend there are special circumstances.

People love me so much they give me stuff

2009-09-18T00:25:00.002-04:00

The really nice people at The Green Bottle have agreed to donate two of their bottles to our rescue organization. This is the first time I've convinced someone to give us something for free. I'm not comfortable with asking most of the time. However, they have it on their website that if you are a non-profit and would like a bottle from them, then plead your case and they will consider it. I really like this company. I haven't gotten a bottle from them yet but plan on doing so in the future. They come in a variety of colors and designs. Yah! http://www.greenbottleonline.com/about.html

We were running out to get pizza tonight and I was letting Rocky back in the house before we left. Somehow (I wasn't paying attention and I'm naturally accident prone) the bottom of the storm door got caught on my heel, digging into my achilies and taking some flesh with it. My achilies is something I'm weird about. I don't like it touched by anyone. If Shawn is rubbing my feet, he knows to stay away from that area or I will freak out. I'm not sure when it started or why. For whatever reason, Shawn decided he needed to come back into the house - Oh he forgot his keys - and I was gripping the door and making an exaggrated amount of noise. (typical for me when I'm in pain) About an hour later I was able to look at it. I can't tell how deep it is as everytime I move my foot, it starts to bleed. At least I'm no longer whimpering. :) The only way I know it would've hurt anyone, not just me, was I immediately felt like throwing up. Mean old door.

Shpeel

2009-09-17T02:55:00.002-04:00

Six kitties are getting neutered and one is getting spayed tomorrow. I'm sure they'll enjoy that. It's weird not having them around tonight. No one to chew on my toes or try to jump me from around the corner. I'm looking forward to making my kitten cage super awesome, fantastic. :)

In November, one of the Cirque shows (a brand new one!) is coming to Chicago. It'll be there till middle of January. My husband has gotten to do a ton of boy stuff these last few weeks, which will be continuing on through next year since he has Bulls tickets. When he bought Cubs tickets a few weeks ago I told him if there were any shows I wanted to see, I was going and he was taking me. Barring any major expenses coming up between now and the end of October (when we'll have the money to go) I should be going to see my first Cirque show! I want to take Jasmine as well because I think she'll love it as she likes to watch the shows on tv. I need to find someone to watch Evan for the day. Hoping my mommy dearest will step up to that one because my other "usual" sitter and I aren't on the happiest of terms and I think it's going to get worse in the coming months before it gets better. They are saying this is going to be different from any Cirque show that has been done before. Different than any show from any theatre group ever. They're being purposely vague about details. You can see little snippets and you know there are tap dancers, hip hop dancers, clowns and a story line but there's no defining line as to what exactly the show entails. It is called Banana Shpeel: A new twist on Vaudeville. It's supposed to be a mix of a lot of the old styles of dance and theatre mixed in with modern. It's so new and never been done before that they are making up dance steps as they go. I believe it will be different from most other Cirque shows in the respect that there's not going to be a lot of the acrobatics that you associate with Cirque. Which is the only reason I would be hesitant to take Jasmine as I know the acrobatics are something that would keep her focus and attention for most, if not all of the show. I would like to make a day of it. We don't go up to Chicago often. (I would like to go more) There are so many places and shops that I haven't seen and foods to try. I'd like to eat before the show, have a nice fat, full tummy and sit down to watch. Anyone have any good restaurant suggestions?

Blood, herpes and nails... not in that order

2009-09-15T01:49:00.003-04:00

My poor mom had a hell of a weekend. Saturday, she was tearing up carpet in one of the upstairs rooms with a box cutter. She was doing small sections at a time 'cuz, you know, that shit's heavy. At one point, the box cutter slipped and sliced up her arm. (I forgot to look at the damage today and scold her) It sounds like it was a pretty nasty cut and she probably should've went to see if it needed stitches but the women of our family come from a very stubborn stock. We'd just as soon have a scar, be in a little pain than take our asses to a hospital, sit in a waiting room full of sick and/or crazy people and finally, after four hours of sitting with said crazy people, you get taken back for a five minute stitch and a band aid. Onto Sunday, she was out getting ready to feed the horses or do something with those big knuckle headed animals, when she stepped on a board. On top of the board was some shingles. Sticking out of the board was a nail. A sharp, pissed off nail. He went straight through my mom's foot to the point that you can actually see where it touched the skin on the top half. And yes, she had shoes on. It's a good thing the shingles were sitting on the board or else she would've had to pull the nail and board off her foot. The shingles weighed everything down and when she lifted her foot to continue her step, the nail came out. It still gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it. She goes to Medpoint, as it was a Sunday and like I said before, we don't like the ER. Unfortunately, it sounds like she got a doctor who had just plain had enough that weekend. He didn't do anything for her or give her anything. Not even a Tylenol 3 for shit's sake. I bitched about that point more than she did. She thought she might be able to force herself to go into work today... with no pain medication... with a hole in her foot. Yeah we were donkeys in a past life. However, when she woke up for work at 3am, it became immediately evident that there would be no work. My brother actually had to carry her back to bed after she called in sick. She made an appointment at our regular doctor's office where they actually took some time to look at her foot. She had xrays and a note saying no more work for a week. They gave her a tetanus shot (or was that at Medpoint? I don't remember), antibiotics (which was a damn good thing because she's running a fever now) and enough vicodin to make a junkie cry tears of joy. Turns out she nicked a tendon when the nail went in, which is why moving her toes in any way at all is terribly painful. I figure while she's off work we'll take up jogging, go shopping and do some step aerobics.

I stopped and picked up a cat cage from another foster today for when we have showings. You should never, ever tell me I can't or shouldn't do something by myself. I will nod my head and agree but the second I'm out of sight, I will do it on my own. (did I mention I come from stubborn women?) We didn't have time to set up the cage when we got home. And then Shawn went to bed. The cage was not up and I hate leaving things undone. Even though I was told that it was a two person job, I went ahead and tried to set it up myself. I have a blood blister but it's up. Take THAT cat cage!

Evan over the last week or so has decided he will not go to bed unless he is sitting up. You know, god forbid he miss me typing some boring shit on here. As soon as he could sit up really well, he decided that sleeping was for cats, not babies. Every night is a fight to get him to sleep. I want to lay him down, have him fall asleep and be done with it. He wants to sit up until his eyes can't stay open any longer. However, he's on the verge of crawling (he can caterpillar it pretty far as of today) therefore, I have to keep him on my lap or risk him wiggling right onto the floor. Which means, every other word I type comes out like t/zh/is and I have to backspace, pull his hands off the keys and take a deep breath to keep from duct taping his hands together, then to his torso. Someone explain to me why my maternal clock says 'Hey why not have another one in a year or two?! It'll be FUN." Fun like what? Herpes? Jock itch? Seriously how effed is my clock??

Sweet smells

2009-09-14T01:28:00.002-04:00

The last few day have been full of nice smells in my house. Last night I made homemade soft pretzels. (first time ever cooking something bread-like) They were fantastic. I will definitely make them again... on a special occasion. The dough needed to be kneaded for quite a while. I've never kneaded bread. It's haaaaard. :) My arms, back, legs and neck all hurt afterwards. (I set the bowl on a bench and was bent over... gave me more momentum but caused the achies) It took about three hours all together. Knead dough, allow dough to rise one rough, roll out half of dough, make into pretzels, dip into stuff, allow rise 15 more minutes and then finally, cook for 5-8. The only change I will make the next time is that I will not roll into pretzels. Rolling dough out like this takes a great deal of time and effort. After you *finally* get the dough rolled out into a pencil thin line, you have to make it into a pretzel shape, dunk it in a baking soda/water solution and then put aside for a while. I cannot count the amount of pretzels that stretched and snapped after putting them in the baking soda/water. The curse words were flying. I made three perfect pretzels... out of 12. And those three? I didn't think to grease the pan and they stuck to it, till the next day. Yeah, laugh it up. I ended up cutting them into one inch pieces and they were perfect for dipping that way.

Tonight I made spice cake with vanilla icing. It turned out well and I was surprised that Jasmine likes it. Typically, you give the kid a piece of cake and she'll eat all the pieces with frosting and toss the rest. She actually ate all of the piece of spice cake I gave her. I was more interested in frosting the cake. I have only gotten to use my new icing tools for cupcakes. The cake told me... I need practice. haha As I've said before, I do not have steady hands, thus my piping skills are lacking. It might have looked better if there had been an earthquake at the same time. Even out my own shakiness a little. :)

Thank you for the well wishes for Isaiah. It'll be a few more days before we notice any real sign of improvement if the prednisone is working but he seems a little more bright eyed today. That could just be wishful thinking on my part however.

My Kitty

2009-09-12T03:30:00.002-04:00

My flame point siamese, Isaiah has been slowly losing weight over the last few months. I tried worming him, I tried antibiotics, different food, anything I could before I had to take him into the vet. I think I put it off because I just knew it would be bad news. I, however, was expecting cancer, not an autoimmune disease. They did quite a few tests (all of which I knew they would do before he was even taken up there) before telling my husband it was one of two autoimmune diseases, aplastic anemia or immune mediated hemolytic anemia. With the aplastic anemia, his bone marrow stops making red blood cells over time, eventually completely. Your red blood cells carry oxygen needed to keep your organs alive, without them, your organs are deprived of oxygen and die. The only way to be certain he has aplastic is to do a bone marrow aspirate. There's no treatment if he has it and he would slowly fade away and die. The vet (my favorite at this clinic) said that doing the test would be cruel as it's extremely painful and wouldn't give us any results other than ruling it out if that's not what it is. The immune mediated hemolytic anemia is when your bodies white blood cells attack the red blood cells. They see the red blood cells as the enemy or a foreign invader in your body and try to kill them all off. There is treatment with this kind of anemia but he still has a 50/50 chance of dying. Right now he is on Prednisone and a high calorie diet as well as a high calorie gel. (he's not happy about any of this except for the diet which means loads of canned food) After 30 days, he will be seen by the vet again. If he hasn't improved at all, they will assume it is aplastic but if he's showing signs of gaining weight and becoming more active, he will be kept on the Prednisone for the rest of his life. I'm still learning about both of these kinds of anemia therefore, I feel a little... ignorant I suppose. Typically, I can walk into a vet's office, be told a diagnosis and immediately have a strong idea of what happens, the tests given, possible treatments, etc., so I feel a little out of sorts. However, the more I'm learning, the more discouraged I am becoming.

Chicken Little

2009-09-09T03:39:00.003-04:00

Just made friends with a weird little bug. I decided to befriend him rather than torture him mercilessly (because, you know, I torture all living things for fun, right) as he looked kind of out of this world. I believe him to be from another planet. I figured if I was kind to him, he would spare our planet from destruction. See, I just saved the world. You should all be eternally grateful. Maybe even buy me presents. Or another crack rock for Mary Poppins. She's withdrawing at the moment and pissing me off. (facebookers inside joke-ish) At any rate, he was rather interesting looking. Flat as a piece of paper and fast as fire next to gasoline. I allowed him to crawl (or run) on me for a while as I tried to figure out exactly what the hell it was and then, once I gave up, I let him go. (back to his spaceship that is... because he's an alien... he told me himself)

Drop off momma cat tomorrow so that she can get her spay on. (harhar, I'm just full of it tonight) And pick up a kitten cage for when we have showings as well as some food and litter for the little monsters. We only have one that still hisses on a regular basis when he sees people but as long as you stand still for a second, he unpuffs. He'll need a home that for whatever reason wants a cat they never have to see or pet. Unless they take two at once, then he might come out more often. The rest should adjust pretty easily to whatever home they find. (or don't find since it seems like no one is adopting cats right now) Friday the realtor comes by to take some pictures. She was going to do it today but it was a little rainy out and she wants to take outdoor photos as well so we put it off for a few days. Otherwise a pretty laid back kind of week around here. (shit did I just say that? the sky is going to fall now)

2009-09-07T05:11:00.003-04:00

If you are a Halloween fan, http://pfatt.blogspot.com/ is having quite a neat giveaway. I love all holidays but love the whimsy of Halloween. :) Forgive me as I'm not very good at the whole pretty linkage thing. ha

Tesla/Saliva concert and photos

2009-09-07T00:21:00.005-04:00

Today we went to a concert benefiting kids with muscular dystrophy after the ABATE motorcycle ride. There was a local band called Os-lo, which we missed almost all of but a few seconds. After they started the show, Saliva came on. They rocked out, however the energy was pretty low on stage I felt. I still enjoyed their set a great deal nonetheless. The main show was Tesla. Wow. Those guys still carry a great deal of energy in their shows and got the crowd nice and riled up. After Signs, my throat started to get a little scratchy. (yes, I'm aware it's not their song - I don't care) I had an absolutely awesome time. I haven't had the greatest luck in the past with concerts and tend to go into them with a glass half empty attitude. Tesla proved you can bring down the house without all the fancy equipment and lights. If the band is into it, the crowd will be into it. My favorite of the songs they did tonight would have to be Love. Even if you weren't a fan of Tesla or that particular song, the energy was just overwhelming.

I took both kids to the event as it was all ages. This was my mom's second Tesla concert. I was always jealous that she'd gotten to go when I was a kid. Jasmine loved it. It was an outdoor concert therefore she was able to run in the grass like a crazy child and scream at the top of her lungs and no one would give a crap. (or hear her for that matter) We were in an area of the grass that didn't have a ton of people so she had plenty of room to roam. Evan... went to sleep. I had Shawn run and buy him earplugs. I was going to bring some but couldn't find them at the house. We gave a pair to another couple with a baby as well. They seemed to be struggling to find a way to keep the noise level down for their little girl. Both my mom and I bought a t-shirt (two for her) and had Frank Hannon, the lead guitarist from Tesla sign them. He is a very nice guy (I can't say that enough, seriously) and seems as down to earth as a rocker can get. At one point he was out watching Saliva along with everyone else. We were the only ones who recognized him or were paying enough attention to see that he was out there. My mom took his picture and shook his hand. It was nice that he didn't seem annoyed by it. (unlike a certain Saliva member who shall go unnamed) And I may have a small crush on him. :) He's hotter in person than any photos out there.

Saliva onstage.

The rhythm guitarist for Saliva, Jonathan Montoya. He looked super high, although it could've been a result of splashing beer over his head repeatedly making his eyes red. I watched an interview with him and he has a surprisingly quiet voice with a slight southern drawl. He's cute when he's not looking psychotic.

Jasmine on daddy's shoulders watching the Saliva set. She's super interested, can't you tell?

Frank Hannon... Swooooon

My mom, Jasmine and myself right after the Saliva set.

Frank on what I believe is a Gibson.

Jasmine and Shawn playing during Tesla. Had to keep her busy somehow.

Jeff Keith, lead singer of Tesla and Frank, again. We were digging the top hat. Must have been annoying him as it didn't stay on longer than two songs.

Daddy and Jazz taking a break from running around.

Jeff Keith again. The guy didn't stop moving the entire show. I swear he possesses more energy than both my kids. He brought a lot of energy to the crowd. And rocked every song from beginning to end.

Evan with his neon pink ear plugs. :)

Jasmine trying to give the peace sign. I keep trying to teach her the horns but for whatever reason, she absolutely, positively refuses to do it.

I know, gasp, another Frank photo. This one is all about the guitar though baby. I loved this doubleneck. I personally don't have long enough arms or fingers to play it but I loved it.

I already plan on going to next year's ABATE concert as long as the bands are someone I know a little. It was a good time for a great cause.

Brain needs foooooood

2009-09-04T05:22:00.003-04:00

Over the years, I've always planned on going back to school. After my brief stint at a local animal hospital, I definitely knew that I wanted to learn more and get my BS in veterinary technology. For the last two years, I figured I would go to Brown Mackie College, however, you are not "officially" a veterinary technician through them. You know all the in's and out's but you get paid the same as an assistant. Tonight, while looking for information online to read (why not learn now before I'm in a class?), I found that Purdue has online classes. When I was in high school, I wanted to go to Purdue. In fact, I never even considered what I would do if I wasn't accepted into Purdue. I had no back-up plan, it was Purdue or bust. Then, my teenage angst took over, and I dropped out of school. The idea that I could still get a degree from Purdue is just... there aren't even words. There's a university nearby that I could commute to as well and get an in class experience if I'd rather go that route. Both are very good schools for veterinary science but Purdue is the school. I really can't wait but I know better than to rush it before I have the time (or money) to devote to such a rigorous course. Doesn't stop me from being excited now!

Cookie Jars

2009-09-04T04:30:00.003-04:00

I've been working on some writing projects for the shelter, which is why I have been absent a few days. I can't seem to devote myself to a piece that really needs my attention and write something else at the same time. My attention span just doesn't stretch that far.

As some of you are aware (geez I now spend way too much time on Facebook), the other day I wasn't feeling too fabulous. I'm not sure what's going on with my head but I've got it narrowed down to what I think it could be, a sinus infection (although it doesn't really feel like one), the beginning of an ear infection or TMJ. They all produce similar symptoms and my jaw is quite stiff today, which is the only reason I even thought of the TMJ. (which I know I have, however, it only bothers me occasionally) My uvula was swollen something crazy the other day and blood red. The past two days it has been purple, as if blood has pooled at the bottom. It's very strange. If that's still going on by Monday, I'll be calling the doctor man. It's pretty wicked looking at the moment.

I have my hand in quite a few cookie jars right now. It wasn't until recently that I realized, the more projects I'm doing, the more successful I am at finishing them. If I devote all my time to one task, I quickly become bored and scrap whatever I was doing in the first place. When I am doing many different things at once, I find it hard to get bored with them or feel them to be too tedious. I'm working on my cake/cupcake decorating skills and low and behold they are better than I expected. I do not have steady hands. I get asked on a pretty regular basis if I've had coffee because my hands tend to be on the shaky side. Therefore, I figured I would fail miserably at applying icing borders to cakes. On my first attempt, my borders were extremely straight and didn't look very shaky. I want to practice more but I'm not going to buy icing and waste it just so I can make pretty rows of border. I would rather make a cake and have it actually be eaten, except, we've had two birthdays in the last two weeks and we're all a bit caked out. Maybe I'll make one just to send to work with my husband. The vultures will swoop in and eat it before lunch. I'm also working on the memoir that I was talking about the other day. I'm not working in any kind of order (I'm definitely a disorganized mess at times) and just writing down stories of my life as I remember them. I'll work out the details and chronological whatnots later. Then there's the shelter. I'm trying to get more involved than in just fostering, seeing as how I may have to drop that when we move. For right now, I'm doing some writing and occasionally going over some of the legal and informative stuff for new volunteers. Oh and there's that whole selling of the house nonsense. My least favorite of the foods on my plate. All the other stuff is from a five star restaurant and the house is from McDonald's. Blech!

Misadventures in kitty land

2009-09-01T01:21:00.004-04:00

Before I forget, the eggs were from Spartan.

While trying to fall asleep around 7am, I kept hearing a ton of noise from the foster room. They're kittens, they play, make noise and break shit. I assumed they were just up to the usual. I kept hearing it but ignored it. I just wanted to go to sleep and was "this" close. Jasmine woke me up around 9am to go to the bathroom and I heard the noise a little bit but not much. I still ignored it. Although I remember thinking it was odd as there isn't that much they could knock off of the shelves. When I woke up in the afternoon, we went straight to my mom's and at that time, the kitty noise was forgotten. Once we got home, I decided to go see what the hell they had been up to and I'll admit, I really didn't want to go in there because then I would have to see the mess they made. Door opens and a herd of kittens rushes out past my feet but there appears to be no major mess. Odd. Then I see a kitty that looks slumped over a parakeet nesting box. I basically think 'That's just great. I have another one die. They're going to think I kill them for fun.' Then he moves. Ok, not dead. What the hell? The little idiot has gotten his head stuck in the hole that the parakeets would enter and exit. The noise I heard all day was him trying to get out. And let me tell you, he was quite stuck. I tried on my own to get him free and then brought him into the kitchen to see if my husband would help. His first question was how attached are you to this box? He breaks all the sides off it so that now the kitty looks like he's ready to be mounted onto the wall. The kitten isn't the easiest to handle. Putting drops in his eyes requires a high pain tolerance. The idea of using some kind of power tool to saw/drill through the wood was... well, I feared the amount of blood loss I would endure. As husband was off to get some tools, I tried one last time to squeeze his head out and voila! He was only a little thirsty/hungry. He was more interested in playing than anything else. Next time, I'll investigate the sounds coming from that room a little sooner. If I'm not too tired. :)

Poor Eggy

2009-08-31T04:21:00.003-04:00

Finally made my chocolate chip cookies. They didn't turn out as good as last weeks. I'm not sure what I did different other than leaving the dry ingredients out over night. I had an issue with the eggs. I cracked one egg, mixed it into the sugars and butter. Cracked the second egg and instead of seeing yellow, it was red. There was a half formed baby chicken inside it. I went in the bathroom and cried. I didn't want Jasmine to see me crying over the egg or to realise that could even happen. I was told over and over again by various people that it's next to impossible to have that happen. I just couldn't make cookies after that and I tossed any eggs I had left immediately. From time to time I have fresh eggs but you can't get fresh eggs at 11pm, which is usually when I seem to want to bake the most. I will never get that image out of my head. I emailed the company and told them how upset I was and that I never planned to buy any of their products in the future. I made it very clear I wasn't looking to get coupons or anything from my complaint but just to make them aware of the issue and to take steps to make sure it didn't happen again.

I want to start writing a memoir. Not anything I ever plan to try and publish. It would be for me, eventually for my kids and grand kids. (my kids will be disowned if at least one of them doesn't give me a grand kid) I'm not sure if I want to start it now on my husband's laptop or wait till I can get another of my own. (the internal connection in mine was snapped off, the part that connects the computer to the charger... I've had it fixed once already and it broke within a week, which the guy said would probably happen) For now I'm just going to get one of those tiny netbooks since I only use my computer for internet usage, photography and small games. Eventually, I'd like to have two of my own, a macbook and a dell. The mac for my photography stuff and various other projects I'd like to embark on but would prefer to use Apple products. The dell for games mainly. I could start the memoir on the this computer but I had switching computers halfway through something. It's a very weird pet peeve of mine. I have many.

I'm rich

2009-08-29T04:45:00.002-04:00

Tonight was the first night I've ever went out to dinner and left a 300% tip. :) No, I didn't suddenly win the lottery. I had quite a few dinner coupons and our bill came up to only be about 4 bucks. This was with an appetizer, two meals and one kids meal at Friday's. You could say they lost some money on that. Our next meal there will be just as cheap as I have duplicates of all those coupons.

Today is Beth's birthday over at nutwood, pop on over, knock on the door and wish her a happy birthday.

Bad realtor, go sit in the time-out chair

2009-08-28T02:06:00.002-04:00

I woke up way later than I should've today so we ended up at my dad's about an hour later than normal. The reason for my late wake up? For starters, I didn't fall asleep till about 10am (I have no idea what that's about) and then came a knock on my front door at about 11am. I don't answer the door if my husband isn't home. Period. If you're coming to my house, chances are you know to call ahead and typically, anyone who stops by unannounced uses the other door since they have a key to it. Usually around that time of day it's a Jehovah or salesman. (yes, they do still go door to door) This person woke up both my kids, in turn, keeping me awake. While I occupied both their little minds with the color and noise of the television, I went to see if the person had left something at the door. (this was about forty minutes later) It was a realtor. I was pissed. My first thought was that they drove by, saw the sign in the front yard that the house was for sale and decided to try and steal my business. My second was that they wanted to look at the house. We talked to our realtor later in the day and it was a realtor wanting to see the house. Apparently, she's not very intelligent as my realtor had just spoken to her a few days prior and told her the house wasn't being shown yet and that we still live here. The woman called my realtor from my driveway and complained that no one was letting her in the house and she couldn't find a lock box. She is damn lucky I did not answer the door as I would've lit into her. My realtor (nicer than I would've) told her again that the house is not being shown and to please not just show up on our front door and expect a guided tour. She needs to schedule an appointment. What ever happened to a little consideration? Because I'm the seller, my time is no longer important? You. Cannot. Just. Show. Up. On. My. Doorstep. I absolutely loathe this process and vow never to sell a house again. Our next house is our last. I don't care if it is suddenly deemed unlivable by the county, I will tear it down and rebuild it, rather than sell anything. This is a nightmare that is only going to get much worse when we are actually showing. And it won't be long. Our realtor has already received phone calls and interest from people who see it as they are driving by.

My grandmother was quiet. She has gotten more reserved the worse her memory gets. At first it seemed like she was embarrassed and didn't want to talk for fear of not remembering a word or a time. Now it just seems like she doesn't remember most words. She just watches and smiles. She has two brand new great grandsons, mine and my cousins. They were born a month apart and she sees the other baby constantly. She cannot remember his name however. She doesn't seem to remember many names at all come to think of it. She remembered that there were raccoons on my dad's deck the night before however. Some things stick and others just fade away. From what I hear she has been getting harder and harder to take care of when she's living with my aunt. While we were there she wasn't very combative about things she would normally fight my dad on. I think it was mainly because she didn't want to make a scene in front of us but I have no doubt that if we hadn't been there, she would've fought. For now I think my aunt can handle it on her own but soon she is going to need to realize that she needs help. Whether that means an assisted living facility or a nurse coming in to help, I don't know. I don't know how she does it now without losing her mind.

2009-08-27T05:58:00.001-04:00

Obviously, I've fixed the photo issue. I'm just that awesome. :)

I'm neither here nor there

2009-08-27T02:31:00.002-04:00

As you can see, I've been messing with the html codes on my blog. I like three columns, I think. However, I absolutely hate how wonky the picture looks at the top. I want it to be in the center of the page. Is it off center to everyone else or is it only on my computer? It's driving me so nutty that I might just revert back to two columns, even though getting it to three was a shit ton of work. I felt like I was looking for waldo, only waldo was in the form of numbers and I had no idea which numbers. For the moment, it can stay. But if I don't get the top fixed, I'm nixing it.

Today (the 26th) was my mom's birthday. We went over there with cupcakes for her. I was happy, I got to try out my cupcake decorating stuff that I bought a month ago. Wow, I just realized that it'd been that long since I'd made any cake products. They turned out ok considering it was the first time I'd ever used a decorating bag for anything other than icing long johns. (donuts) I definitely prefer reusable bags to the ones I used last night. The reusable ones are more of a fabric than plastic and are easier to maneuver and fill with icing. At any rate, my mom had some chocolate cupcakes with pink icing. Happy birthday again mom!

Tomorrow (the 27th) I'm going to my dad's to visit with my grandmother. We haven't been home hardly at all this week and I'm sure my realtor is getting pissed. I haven't been able to return her phone calls until after 8pm, which means we play phone tag. She has our cell phone number and has been told to use it but hasn't. She's also been quite unhappy with the fact that I foster kittens. I've made a compromise and asked that if no one is using a kitten cage, that I use it till my house is sold. (very large cage like you would use for a macaw or ferrets) The kittens can be out of the cage most of the time, although I may put them in it at night when they seem to cause the most damage to the room. Maybe I'll get one for the kids too since they cause constant damage! (damage = mess)

Visiting

2009-08-25T01:16:00.002-04:00

This weekend my cousin came to stay the night. He's from Indy and we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like to. We had a total blast. He brought his friend, Nicole with him and she was awesome. I haven't laughed that much in a long time. They'll both be back the end of September and I can't wait. I was uber sad when he left though. :( I would've been happy to keep him here forever. I'd always have a laptop buddy to sit with me at night. I think, no I know, he's more attached to his than I am to mine.

My grandmother is up for a visit. She's not been doing well for quite a while now. They believe she has some form of dementia and it's been very tough on my aunt. My dad drove the six hours to pick her up the other day to give my aunt a break for the week. We plan on going to see her for a few hours sometime during the week. I really hope she's having a good day when we're there.

We're all still recovering from last week's flu. Noses are still running and coughing is still happening. Not so bad for those of us who can speak but those who can't have been sleeping in a swing to help keep things moving and from settling into his chest/sinuses.

Voila

2009-08-21T01:11:00.003-04:00

24 hours ago, I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt like death warmed over. I felt awful. Now, I feel almost fine. Whatever this was (and I still believe it was the flu) it left as fast as it came. I still have a little stuffy nose (nothing really even noticeable) and some junk in my lungs but I feel great. My cat followed me on my multiple trips to the bathroom to dry heave. What a good kitty. He sat next to me at the toilet, followed me to the kitchen for a drink of water, and back to the bathroom, over and over again. I figured he'd be pissed at me since the day before I shaved him. I ended up taking a Phenergran to stop the nausea. It also works as a sedative so shortly afterwards, I was asleep. I just can't believe how good I feel today considering what I felt like last night. I woke up feeling a little ucky but when Shawn got home, I went in Jasmine's bedroom (more comfortable bed) and took a nap. When I woke up, I felt great.

It's all good timing as well. My cousin is driving up from Indy tomorrow afternoon and staying till late Saturday. I'm so excited to have him for the night. He's recently come out to our family as being gay and this will be his first visit since it's been made official. I'm sure he's a little nervous about how everyone will act around him but I don't expect there will be any changes. Most of us suspected for years and I'm glad he's come out and doesn't feel he has to hide who he really is around us any longer.

Still ick-tastic

2009-08-20T01:54:00.003-04:00

My room is like a sauna right now. Ick. I have the humidifier on for the screamer. (who is more of a screamer lately than ever) Last night he ended up sleeping in bed with me and Jasmine. That was enjoyable. A seven month old baby had an entire half of a queen bed, while me and Jazz were stuck with the other half. I was worried I would crush him or he would end up laying on the blanket and suffocate. Which is ironic considering I've co-slept with Jasmine since she was born and was never concerned about killing her. I guess since I haven't done it with Evan, I worry more that maybe I'll be overly tired and sleep through things that I normally wouldn't. That wasn't the case though. Every single time he moved, I woke up. And one time I woke up, he wasn't moving and I freaked a little. Surprise, he was sleeping. Jasmine ended up falling off the bed onto the hard tile floor. She climbed right back up and passed back out. Evan slept extremely well, only waking up once the entire night. I'm sure that had to do with the lack of sleep from the day/night before. And I'm fairly certain that we have all gotten some sort of mild flu. My back has been killing me since I started getting sick and now that Shawn is getting it, he's been having aches and pains as well. I've been walking hunched over like a little old lady.

I'm occasionally without a voice as well, which I can only assume is from coughing. It should make my husband happy. Instead of getting yelled at, he'll just get the Marge Simpson glare of disapproval. :) My grandma is the queen of that look. She even makes the "mmmmm" noise that Marge makes when she looks at Homer that way. It's always hard not to laugh when she does it.

Need a sick day

2009-08-19T01:44:00.002-04:00

I had the hardest time getting to sleep last night/this morning. My face hurt so badly that I can't even put it into words. And that was even after taking an ultram. And if my husband hadn't stayed home from work today, I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all. Evan was awake from 8pm till 4am, slept for three hours and then would only sleep for fifteen minutes at a time for the rest of the day. And then he would only fall asleep if my husband held him a certain way, while rocking in the recliner. When he woke up at 7am, he felt like he was on fire so I took his temp., which was 102.6. I told him if it hadn't gone down with some motrin that he'd be going to the doctor. Luckily for him, it dropped almost a full degree within a half hour of taking the medicine. By the time I woke up this afternoon, he didn't feel like he had any fever at all. He even seemed a little better, better color, more smiles, etc. Still not sleeping real great though. He finally fell asleep eating a bottle (of which he's only had half of what he normally eats in a day) only to be woken up within ten minutes by my daughter's idiot cat opening our bedroom door. I would've killed the cat but Evan was screaming so the kitty had to wait. Another day kitty, another day. Evan screamed till he threw up, several times and then promptly fell back to sleep. I very carefully managed to move him into his own bed without waking him. That's where we're at now. Holding our breath in hopes that he stays asleep as long as possible.

My face hurts still today but not quite as bad as yesterday. My throat has been a little scratchy and painful so I decided to take a looksy on down there. Wow. My tonsils are so red that they look bloody in the cervices. Glad they don't hurt as bad as they look. The humidifier is going tonight, maybe we'll feel a little better in the morning. That's if I'm allowed to sleep at all.

Our house is officially up for sale in the AM. Just get it over with already.

Quarantine

2009-08-18T02:01:00.003-04:00

Jazz is feeling much better today. Lucky her. Her brother and I aren't so lucky. He is a miserable little ball of snot and I'm in the same boat, except I have the ability to blow my nose and snort the stuff back where it came from. Oh and I can take medication to make the snot stop coming for a short time. He has none of those abilities. He gets saline squirted up his nose, a bulb syringe to snuff out all the snot and tylonel, which he spits out in generous amounts, usually as a spray.

Jasmine didn't have it all that rosy however. She cried in her sleep all night long the other night, woke up before the sun did and then threw up. After she threw up, her fever was gone and she started to perk up. And has been improving ever since. Now she is bouncing off the walls. Lucky me.

My arm won't stretch that far

2009-08-16T04:14:00.002-04:00

My poor Jazzy has been crying in her sleep since she passed out at 11. She woke up today not feeling well, sniffly and just like shit. She has a bright red patch of skin on one cheek. I'm not sure if it's part of the illness or from her wiping her nose so much. I don't think it's fifth disease as it's not on both cheeks. Plus, she got the rash at the same time as the sniffles. Poor kid feels awful. I want to make her take some tylenol but don't want to really wake her up. (she wakes up every hour or so and asks for water, which I have next to me for her) I really need to pee but she has a death grip on my arm!!!

Burn calories just by breathing

2009-08-14T04:08:00.002-04:00

Someone who shall remain anonymous for her own safety ;) posted about Livestrong and how they have this My Plate feature. I decided to check it out. I can track all the foods I eat everyday as well as any (and I do mean ANY) activity I did that day to burn calories. I actually kind of like this thing. It's easy to use and easy to understand. My Plate

Food + Family = Jamie Happy

2009-08-14T02:38:00.002-04:00

Love is a good thing, no matter who is sharing it.

I made those cookies that had to sit in the fridge. They're really good warm (thank you Mr. Microwave) but extremely crunchy cold. I'm going back to my other recipe. I liked the way these cooked and spread out so I'm going to try to tweak my other recipe slightly here and there to end up with the same size of cookies. I also plan on giving the skillet cookie another go, this time cooking it for a few minutes less.

My cousin is coming for a visit next weekend, possibly. We haven't set the date in stone. I'm excited to see him. The last time I saw him was at the end of May. It'll be great to see him and I'll get him to myself for a few hours as he may be staying the night. When a family member comes around that we haven't seen in a while, everyone wants to get a chance to see them. No one gets much one on one time. However, I have the extra bed and rooms. haha suckers. :)

Nom-nom-nom

2009-08-13T05:35:00.002-04:00

I just found a recipe for snickerdoodle cookies. I've never had one before. Did you know they are made with cinnamon and sugar??? The two most awesome things to mix together? And they made a frickin' cookie with them in it? Definitely making me some snickerdoodles and soon. I know, I know. Who hasn't had a snickerdoodle? And what the hell is wrong with that person? I was sheltered from the world of baked goods, what can I say? :)

I want my effin' cookies!

2009-08-11T03:48:00.002-04:00

I should be enjoying fresh chocolate chip cookies right now. However, I neglected to thoroughly read the directions of the new recipe I'm trying. Turns out after making a massive batch of these cookies, they have to stay in the fridge overnight. Every single time I open the refrigerator, I have to stare at the batter and imagine how good it would taste. :( This is the largest amount of ingredients I have ever used to make any cookies, let alone chocolate chips. Almost five cups total flour. (and I had to use three different kinds) Close to three cups of combined sugars. I almost, almost didn't have a bowl big enough. I hate when a recipe says something along the lines of "use the paddle attachment on your mixer). Yeah, I don't have three hundred dollars to toss into a KitchenAid right now. You know what that means? I had to mix that batch the old fashion way. Elbow grease and all. Someday, I will invest in a KitchenAid, someday. I know, *gasp*, me get a KitchenAid. But you swore you would never own an appliance that does what you can do by hand. Yes, well, I changed my mind. There are some things a KitchenAid does that are a great deal easier to do using good ole electricity. I won't use it every time. I promise. :)

IUD summary

2009-08-10T03:15:00.004-04:00

I've been sitting on this post for a while as I wasn't sure exactly if I wanted to do it and if I did, how in depth I wanted to get with it, seeing as how I have family that reads this bloggy thing. Since, however, I was very disappointed to find that there is very little out there on the subject, I have decided to write it based on what I was looking for when I made the decision. I'm talking about when I went for the IUD. You find plenty of informational pages on both types of IUD but very little actual testimonials from real people.

It feels like this thing has been inside my body for six months, yet, it has only been since the first week of May. I bled through all of May, all of June and on and off in July. At one point I was earnestly regretting my decision. I felt as if this was going to continue indefinitely. I had been warned by my OB that the first few months are the worst and after you get past that hurdle, the rest is smooth and easy. When you bleed for that long though, it seems like an eternity. With the amount of tampons I was forced to buy, I could've dammed the Mississippi. The actual placement was actually not that painful, probably due to the fact that I took a vicodin beforehand. (which I strongly advise... trust me, you can find some if you want them bad enough) I did feel pretty uncomfortable and ill the rest of that evening and then cramped for several days after but nothing much worse than normal period cramps. I can feel it. I didn't expect that. If Evan is sitting on my stomach and bounces suddenly, I can feel the edges of the IUD hit my uterus. That's very not cool, man. One time I had to pass the kid to my husband as he must have hit it just right and I felt like I was going to be sick. If I'm having trouble going to the bathroom, I can feel it then too. Other than that, I no longer notice it or have cramps at all. I haven't had PMS the entire time and the waterfall seems to have stopped now. I don't know if I'll do it again. I'm leaning towards yes. I think the placement would go smoother the second time as I now know what to expect and what is going to happen. You can tell me till your blue in the face how a procedure is going to go but I don't truly know till I've went through it. I assume you are sugar coating it or I will have it worse than you did, etc. (for anyone who had been searching for IUD information and came across this blog - I almost passed out twice during my placement... it's not unusual for me to pass out however, particularly when I'm really freaked out about something) If you decide to go with an IUD (I have the mirena but had been planning on the paragard) I strongly recommend not turning back once the speculum is in. They use a numbing spray after putting the speculum in (unless your doctor is a complete sadist) and it causes the vagina to get extremely sticky. If (as was my case) you freak out and ask them to remove everything, reinsertion is something straight out of the depths of hell. Honestly, the speculum could've been armed with scalding hot spikes and it wouldn't have made a difference in the pain. They do not use any lubricant as they have to sterilize the area before inserting the IUD and lubrication would make that difficult to accurately do. All in all, I say if you don't want periods, you've never had a uterine infection, and are in a monogamous relationship, go for it. If anyone reads this and is thinking about an IUD and has further questions on my experience, absolutely feel free to email me.

Insane in the mouse brain

2009-08-10T01:15:00.003-04:00

Seems we have a showing on Thursday. I'm still not sure how serious the guy is or if he's just checking out houses in our area. I know he plans on looking at another house on our road that is for sale. (the only other house for sale) I'm also not aware if he's using a realtor or not. I should write some of this stuff down and send my own realtor an email. I was a cleaning machine tonight, unfortunately, the screamer wasn't having any of it. I was surprised he allowed me to do as much as I did. I was able to sweep some of the front bedroom. (what a difference having a vacuum that actually sucks makes... we borrowed my moms') I also cleaned off the kitchen counters. Our realtor made a comment that if it isn't absolutely essential, then to hide it or pack it away when it comes to the counters. I'm trying to do what she asks without too much annoyance. I can't help but feel a little offended whenever a remark is made about what we should be doing differently. I know, I know. It's her job and she's trying to make this as fast and painless as possible. It's human nature though to feel a little judged in these situations, in my opinion. Half the time I'm thinking I'm sure if I went to your house right now that all these things wouldn't be done. But then the other part of my brain, the less defensive and slightly more sane part says that she isn't the one selling her house. I will do it to the best of my ability but I still refuse to get rid of my birds. (a "suggestion" that she made)

Last night, I found Saffron in the kitchen and he was playing with a mouse. He must have been at it for quite a while because he seemed rather bored with it. I scrambled for something to scoop the mouse up in and finally found a pitcher. I set it in front of the mouse and the dumb animal just sat there. A second later, Saffron came up behind it and just gave it a little tap-tap on the butt as if to say 'Get in there, ya varmint.' Usually when I remove one of Saff's "toys" he spends ten minutes searching for it. It showed just how bored he was of the game when he went and laid down to take a nap. I don't think the mouse lived long outside though. On the outside, the mouse looked fairly intact. Missing a little hair and had a small puncture on his head (probably from a nail, not tooth). I turned over the pitcher outside and heard a thump. I was in grass so there shouldn't have been any thumps. I tossed him on his head, onto the hose. He scampered away... eventually. Tonight, Savannah threw up (thank you for making it to the tile doggy!!!) and as I usually do, I looked at the contents to make sure everything was normal. I just wanted to make sure she didn't eat anything she shouldn't have and possibly injured her insides. She had thrown up what appeared to be a mouse. Ick. I'm just glad it didn't smell. As I've gotten older, some smells make my stomach turn, therefore, I'm always grateful when an animal does something nasty but keeps the stinky on the inside. haha (if Jasmine hides a glass of milk somewhere and I have to empty after days of sitting out... I gag)

One more for the road

2009-08-09T05:22:00.003-04:00

I'm getting ready for bed, doing the bathroom stuff. I hear kittens screaming and hissing. I'm thinking one of three things: 1-someone is stuck somewhere and freaking out, 2-a cat is in there that shouldn't be in there, 3-the new kitties and the old kitties aren't getting along so well. I rush in there, mainly expecting to see a cat with it's claw stuck in a piece of furniture. No, they're fighting over teats. Momma cat is standing by the door and there are seven kittens hanging from her. I break up the drinking party but she walks a foot and a half, lays down and lightly mews. Of course, it starts all over again. They're like sharks that taste blood in the water. I told them all tonight that there's only going to be a few more days that the milk bar is open and then I'm taking momma into the general population of the house and the kittens will stay in their room. I can't believe she has teats at all. They all have teeth... sharp teeth! Savages.

The cat whispering dog

2009-08-09T02:38:00.008-04:00

Sorry for the short post earlier. I haven't been taking iron pills because I assumed since I no longer bleed 1 out of 3 weeks of the month that maybe I wouldn't need them. I found out at dinner with Beth and Ken that I was wrong when I felt very faint and a little like I was going to vomit. (hence the hasty run to the bathroom guys!) I felt better after a few minutes but knew when I got home that I would be popping a pill. I should feel a lot better tomorrow and already feel some improvement tonight. At least aside from my allergies which are, kicking my ass.

When I have new cats, I try to socialize them with all the animals I have. It makes them easier to adopt out later. I typically use the same dog each time. Tarin is very cat friendly and he's no neurotic therefore, he puts most cats at ease after a few minutes. He absolutely loves cat and kittens even more so. Unfortunately, if they hiss at him, he quickly becomes very scared and tries to make as little eye contact with them as possible. Such was the case tonight. Momma quietly hissed, which put all the kittens on edge (imagine seven tiny backs arched at once) and I had to carry Tarin the rest of the way into the room. He's not a huge dog but he's at least fifty pounds, probably more and heavier still when he really doesn't want to enter a room. The kittens came around quickly but momma needed a little more time. Eventually, everyone came up to investigate him (two tried to find a place to nurse, which caused dumb dog look in Tarin... you know when they turn their head from side to side, that my friends, is dumb dog look), even if they did initially have their backs arched. Momma even laid down with him. He's my cat whisperer, who is strangely enough, a dog. I have a ton of new photos of the kitties, most of which I uploaded to Facebook but will post several on here as well.

Three of the new four. The two closest are siamese.

Jasmine with the whole crew.

This is a flame point siamese. The orange points will come out stronger as she becomes an adult. She is fairly skittish. I've already been bitten, scratched, hissed at and even spit at by this one. Very pretty cat with nice markings. Shouldn't take long for her to come around. Her eyes should stay that pretty blue color. I had many other photos up for viewing but my blogger is being... a big meanie pooh pooh head and suddenly deleted half of them when I pressed the enter key. I'll upload more tomorrow.

Very nice end to the day indeed

2009-08-08T22:31:00.004-04:00

I picked up four more kittens today. Two siamese, an orange tabby and a dark gray tabby. I took one of my other four to another foster who could keep a closer eye on him. He may have a congenital defect. Time will tell. The first thing the new bunch did was run to my momma cat from the last litter and start nursing. She looked at me as if to say "Gee, thanks a bunch lady. I just got the other four to stop doing this." I'll get some pictures of the newbies later tonight. The flame point siamese may be difficult as she is very white and my husband's camera tends to go bonkers at the sight of white.

We went out to eat with two fellow bloggers tonight. I'm pretty sure everyone who reads my blog, reads them as well. Beth over at http://nutwoodjunction.blogspot.com/ and her husband Ken at http://buckoclown.blogspot.com/. We had a great time. Ken is not what I expected. :) I know he's known as a clown but his blog is usually serious subjects and you don't get to see much of the goofy guy I met tonight. Beth is pretty much what I know her to be. However, we frequently email back and forth so I had a better grasp of her personality. They are definitely a great match. My daughter absolutely loved them both. I think if we'd have let her, she would've hopped in the Mustang with them and took off! We'll definitely have to get together again. Although, next time, I think Ken and Jasmine need more room to run off their excess energy. Yes, as in both of them! :)

Last Litter

2009-08-08T01:21:00.002-04:00

This is the litter before this most recent one.
Here is Dharma. Yes, her one eye is a little droopy. She was getting over an eye infection. Her nails are also painted. I had to find a way for the other foster to tell them apart. :) She was a lover.
Ryder, one of the trouble makers.

This is Rylee, the other trouble maker. She was my favorite of that litter. I was sad to see her go. Little monster that she was. Again, she was getting over a cold so her nose was a little stuffy.

Everett, the other lover. He and his sister would follow you around till you sat down and then climb on up onto a lap.

Kade was kind of in between being lovey and trouble. As you can tell, he had a thing for my purse. The only one that was easily recognizable from his siblings.

Kitty Photos

2009-08-08T00:59:00.003-04:00

Not the best photos. I hope to get some better ones soon. They need to sit still for a damn minute like their momma did and it wouldn't be such a problem. :)

Two of them look just like him/her. (I haven't been keeping great track of male/female) One long hair (this one) and one short hair.

This is the only tabby. Will have medium to long hair when full grown.

This is my favorite of the bunch based on looks. Will be long hair and is super soft. I feel like it's screaming "Mooooooom, he's touching me!!!"

Momma sitting on a tree limb that came down during a storm. She did awesome on a harness. The only problem I had was keeping her from tangling herself in the leash from rolling in the dirt.

Her eyes are a very striking green color. I don't think I've ever seen any cat with eyes like these. The photos don't do them justice.

Busy busy busy

2009-08-07T03:34:00.003-04:00

Been a busy week. Some shopping was done throughout the week. We had to get the kids some clothes for fall/winter. It's fun to buy stuff for them. The clothes are just so adorable that I have a hard time putting things back, even when we have more than enough.

We headed to Chicago yesterday to Brookfield Zoo. Next summer I think we'll go to Fort Wayne or Toledo. They're a little smaller and more comfortable. Brookfield isn't stroller friendly at all and there is a great deal of walking. (we lost our map and ended up getting pretty turned around) Jasmine enjoyed the dinosaurs they had this year and was convinced they were real. We let her believe it. She'll know soon enough that the world isn't what it seems all the time, why ruin fun things for her now? We went into the butterfly house and for the first time in one of those things, I had not one but two of them land on me. They were pretty but the zoo closer to my house has much nicer ones. (but about three hundred less at a time, Brookfield usually has around six hundred flying) We didn't take any pictures. A rarity for us. I was exhausted, and a little cranky so photos were pretty much the last thing on my mind. (I had absolutely no sleep upon leaving for the zoo) Many of you already know that I was so tired that I actually fell asleep on a park bench while Shawn and Jazz were eating. That's a new one for me.

I will be getting four additional kittens within a few days. I have to set up a day to pick them up. They will be thrown in with the litter I have now. (the litter that refuses to stop nursing) I have some pictures of this litter and the last that I need to put up. I'll try to get to that tonight. This is by far one of the cutest litters I have had yet. They have great personalities too. Absolutely awwable. :)

We found out this evening that we already have someone interested in our house. It hasn't even been put up for sale yet. The guy was referred to my realtor and she mentioned that ours would be up soon and he wants to see it. (without even knowing what we'll be listing it at) Kind of freaks me out that it could go that quickly. I don't want it to take forever but I'd like to have some time to really get used to the idea. It's barely even been a month since I contacted our realtor to get things started.

No butts today

2009-08-02T03:32:00.003-04:00

Don't worry mom, this post shouldn't have anything to do with my nether regions or the bathroom at all. :) I am signed up for cake decorating classes for the next four weeks at Hobby Lobby. I'm looking forward to it, even though I'm signed up alone. I think it'll get me more out of my comfort zone not having someone with me, which in a way is good. Stay in that zone too long and you don't know how to get out of it. I'm going to sign up for another class after this one but I'm not sure if I'll take the second part of this course or start the first course on painting. I'm starting to learn more and more about my personality. I greatly enjoy creating things. Whether it be a gorgeous cake that tastes like heaven, painting something that when you look at it, you can TELL what it's supposed to be :), or making scrap books of my kids and foster animals. I wish they had a woodworking class because I'd love to learn how to do some of that. My uncle can take ordinary garage sale pieces and turn them into art. Everything he creates is just that, art. Yes, that is a sofa and it's pretty comfy too but when you take a step back and really look at it, it's art. He's the one in our family that is overflowing with creativity. I keep trying to steal some of it but he keeps it locked tightly away in a safety deposit box at an unknown location. :) Maybe my aunt Jeri will steal some for me. Anywho, I am excited about the classes, so much so that I already bought 28 tips.

Went out to eat at a new place tonight. It's a local one Eddie's Steak Shed. It was good food and pretty large portions as well. No one can top my husband's steak but this was right up there. It had every little fat anywhere on it. That's pretty good for a 14oz sirloin. And they bring you bread fresh. Omigod, I love fresh bread. Apparently so does Evan. It never fails, just as we're about to put the first bite of food in our mouth, he starts fussing so one of us goes hungry till the other is finished and can take him. There was one piece of bread left so I pulled the crust off, handed it to him and told Shawn to watch him like a hawk. He gummed that bread the entire rest of our meal and into dessert. I told my husband 'Watch we're going to have to run him to the ER for a gluten allergy now.' and laughed. I still want to try another place but it's about a 45 minute drive so we'll see when we get around to that. In a couple of months we're going to an extremely expensive steak restaurant. We just want to see if the food really is better or if you're getting screwed out of a lot of money. I wonder if I have to dress up or if jeans is kosher? :)

Common sense comes in small humans

2009-08-01T03:10:00.002-04:00

Jasmine follows me to the bathroom.
"What are you doing?"
From her tone, it's obvious she does not approve. I try to find a way to explain but find I'm at a loss.
"You can stay and watch if you want but shut the door already."
She watches as I apply scalding hot wax to my nether regions, the least sensitive of those parts. She questions my application, the heat of the wax and how long I've let it sit. Finally, I bite down, grab one end of the wax and rip. Jasmine seeing what I've done is... horrified but not nearly as horrified as I am when I look down and realize that all that pain with almost no gain. Sure there's evidence of said pain on the wax but it left more than it took. Mmmmkay. Maybe I did it wrong. I re-read the directions, and try again. This time I'm aware of the pain that I'm about to cause myself and hesitate at the last second. This causes more pain and yet, the same end result. Jasmine tells me to use the shaver since it doesn't hurt. I put the lid back on the scalding hot goop from hell and resolve to try it another day, maybe on my underarms but I've learned my lesson about... other regions. And have come to the conclusion that in some instances, a four year is smarter than an adult.

Just a thought

2009-07-31T03:05:00.002-04:00

This might sound odd but sometime I wonder if I'm not on the cusp of an eating disorder at times. I eat as little as possible and many times, don't eat, even though my stomach is screaming at me for food. I typically eat a halfway healthy dinner and that's the extent of my food intake for the day. It started off years ago. It wasn't out of a fear of gaining weight, I was just all over the place all the time. I didn't have time for two meals a day, let alone three. After I had Jasmine, I became much more aware of what I was eating. (particularly after a heavy summer of baking that made me realize I no longer have the metabolism of a 15 year old) After Evan, it seems to have gotten worse. I still bake but typically send most of it to work with my husband, only leaving a 1/4 of what I made at home for us. (seriously if I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and DIDN'T send them with him, I would eat the entire thing) We still eat out, which is always going to be higher in fat and calories than if you just cooked at home and I usually get dessert. It's the day to day eating that I think I should be concerned about. One day this week, I ate a hot pretzel at the mall. That was my meal for the day. I didn't have so much as a cookie the rest of the day. There have been several days since Evan was born that I can recall not eating anything for 24 hours. I've come to find that after you get over the initial I'm-so-hungry-I-could-die pains, that you don't feel too bad. Sure you still realize you're hungry but it's not overwhelming. I. will. not. eat. past a certain time of day. No matter how hungry I am or what I've had to eat during the day. I don't want that food sitting there overnight. Now, when I'm working out regularly, I eat more. I don't want to completely deprive my body of food therefore, when the extra calories are being burned off, I eat a little more. Don't think that if you saw me tomorrow, you'd be shocked and want to rush me to the hospital. :) I'm small but I have hips, thighs and a butt that still carry some baby fat on them. I've stored it away for the winter... you know, in case of a blizzard. I have reserves. :) This isn't something I'm seriously concerned about but I do think I should eat more. This coming week (if the doctor would ever call in my Ambien) I plan on working on my sleep schedule. If I get up earlier in the day, I eat lunch and dinner. I'm not sure why. It's almost as if, despite the hours I'm awake, it still feels somewhat odd to eat after dark. I'm sure I'm not improving my mood much. When I'm stressed, I don't sleep or eat. Sure, I bake like crazy but I don't eat it.

The realtor was here today. We signed all the paperwork. In a few days, we should know what we'll be listing it at and then a few days after that, it will be officially on the market. I have a feeling everything after that will just become more stressful. I don't like having people in my house, even if they are shelling out some cash for it.

Meme

2009-07-30T03:30:00.003-04:00

1. Do you like blue cheese? I don't know, I've never had it
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Jesus! NO
3. Do you own a gun? Yeah, lots... they all shoot water
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? I don't eat or drink at sonic or even sit
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on what it's for
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Yum, best at the ball park
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Rudolph
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? If I had my choice, coffee but usually I don't drink anything till later
9. Can you do push ups? Yes. Do I WANT to? NO :)
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't have a lot so probably the ring my hubby got me a few years ago
11. Favorite hobby? Baking... that's a hobby, right?
12. Do you have A.D.D.? Not. At. All.
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I try not to "hate" myself... bad juju dude... I'm not all together happy with my boobs though
14. Middle name? Lynn
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: (1) Worrying about the meeting with the realtor tomorrow (2) Hungry but it's too late to eat (3) Hope the doc calls in sleeping pills tomorrow
16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Absolutely nothing
17. Name 4 drinks you regularly drink? Dr. Pepper Cherry, chocolate shakes, Baileys, Chocolate shakes with Baileys... wow I sound like a lush
18. Current worry? All house all the time
19. Current hate right now? Again I'm not big on the hating... don't really like all the rain
20. Favorite place to be? Here... most of the time
21. How did you bring in the New Year? I was still pregnant so MISERABLE
22. Where would you like to go? Florida, Hawaii, Caribbean
23. Name two people who will complete this? Every single one of you will fill this out... in your head as you read my answers... :)
24. Do you own slippers? Somewhere.... where did I put those things?
25. What shirt are you wearing? Tank top with stars on it
26. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No... I wake up feeling like I peed myself
27. Can you whistle? Yes, at least well enough that you know it's a whistle
28. Favorite color? I really do love them all... no favorites
29. Would you be a pirate? So long as I don't have to wear the eye patch
30. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever allows me to take a full shower without Evan crying
31. Favorite girl's name? Jasmine
32. Favorite boy's name? Evan (yes I took the easy way out on both)
33. What's in your pocket right now? Uhm... nothing... I'm in my undies... LOL
34. Last thing that made you laugh? Husband
35. Best bed sheets as a child? They were all pretty plain man
36. Worst injury you've ever had? I'm not sure which was more painful... having a 1500 pound horse stand on my foot (causing me pain to this day) or a rat biting straight through a nerve in my hand, thus leaving the nerve exposed
37. Do you love where you live? No... it's not cool to hear gunshots at random points in the day... just sayin'
38. How many TV's do you have in your house? 3
39. Who is your loudest friend? Abby, but to be honest, I'm probably the loudest one out of my little circle
40. How many dogs do you have? Shit, this answer always gets me odd looks... 7
41. Does someone have a crush on you? I sincerely doubt it... if they do, I'm completely unaware... although that drunk guy DID say I was gorgeous... LOL
42. What is your favorite book(s)? Probably still Intensity by Dean Koontz... been years since I read it but still a fav
43. What is your favorite candy? anything milk chocolate (so long as it has no nuts)
44. Favorite Sports Team? Green Bay Packers
45. What song do you want played at your funeral? LOL... If you're happy and you know it
46. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Trying to clean
47. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Where the hell is my husband and why isn't he home yet?

Just one of those days

2009-07-29T05:11:00.003-04:00

Really stressed out. Always tired but can never sleep. This week is the longest week in the history of weeks. Have too much to do and too little time to do it in. Can't wait till Friday when I can go shopping. I've never felt like I "needed" to shop but now I really understand the term retail therapy. I guess I'm just in a really shitty mood right now. I had plans (which never work out... I don't know why I rely on these so-called "plans") to get our bedroom cleaned tonight. I was going to put Evan down for his evening nap, which usually goes between two and three hours and then I was going to clean the entire time. He slept for half an hour which was long enough for me to take the closet doors off (easier to clean that way and easier to see) and get one tiny area cleaned up. (i.e. toss it or put it in a box to be packed) My realtor will be here tomorrow and this room needs to be at least halfway there. I also have the cat room to take care of but it's mostly done. I just need to sweep it and then clean the hardwood floors. Only bonus to the day, while I was in the closet, I found two shirts I forgot I had and they're super cute. I want to work out but time is limited to cleaning and kids right now. After tomorrow, I think I'll feel a little better, especially since I'll have some time to work out over the next week. (hubby is on vacation for a week) At some point, a dinner date is in the works with a fellow blogger. I'd like to go up to Chicago for the day. Maybe to the Indiana Dunes another day. If you can find a spot where there aren't many people, it's very peaceful up there.

Yawn

2009-07-26T02:30:00.002-04:00

A new day, a new litter. I'll have pictures of the last litter up here soon. I picked up a litter of four and their momma late tonight. (about 11pm) They are beyond adorable. My last litter was definitely my favorite so far and probably the least attractive of them but looks can be deceiving sometimes. They all had fantastic personalities and were just all around nice kitties. It's the first litter that I've teared up when I've dropped them off. I would've kept Rylee if we hadn't just adopted Saffron last year. I told my husband last year that I wouldn't have anymore than three indoor cats at a time and I intend to follow through on that. I am envious of the family that gets to call her their own. Some of them just get to you more than others.

Been cleaning last two days. Lots of cleaning. I want to be baking. And eating. But that's a stress thing, I'm sure. One more week and this house will be up for sale. And then I'll be more stressed. It's funny but I wish my realtor was here half the day so she could calm me down when I start to freak out. She has a calming way about her. Just having her in the room makes people feel better. As if your house isn't about to be opened up to the entire world to come and go on their terms. Yuck. I'm just glad we have fosters right now. Sitting in that room with them is like popping a xanax.

Just the usual

2009-07-24T02:22:00.002-04:00

Evan had a doctor's appointment Wednesday. Just shots and check growth. He's in the 50th percentile for everything. Honestly, I never pay much attention to what percentile they're in but thought it was funny he was 50th in every way. I was hoping to get some cream for the eczema he has on his inner elbows and inner knees. However, my doctor is very anti-prescriptions and tries to fix things without them. He thinks Evan has an intolerance to milk so we are to switch him to soy formula. Great. He doesn't tolerate food switches very well. He was also given his shots at this appointment. The last time he had shots, he screamed for four hours nonstop and then for two more hours on and off. It was an effin' nightmare and vowed not to go through it again. I told the doctor I really wasn't totally comfortable with him getting the three in one shot. He talked me into it though. (I just wanted to stagger his shots, not omit any) He only cried a little this morning for my husband but as soon as I got up and took him, he was fine. I haven't had any problems since then except for a little upset tummy that had nothing to do with the shots.

I was a walking injury yesterday. I can't tell you how many bumps and bruises I ended up with by the end of the day. At one point, I was scrubbing the floors in the kitchen (getting ready for the sale and whatnot) and a mouse ran across my foot, I screamed like a sissy (I'm so not afraid of mice. You just don't expect on to go galloping across your toes!) and then the cat sliced open one of my toes. Which reminded me the cat needs his nails trimmed. I chased the cat around and eventually caught the mouse and let him live wild and free - outside. Shortly after that I was making hot chocolate for my daughter. (the only child who asks for hot chocolate in July) I must be the only person in the world who would cut themselves making hot chocolate. I couldn't remember where I left the scissors last so I grabbed a nice to slice open the cocoa package and instead sliced open my finger. Jasmine told me I should be more careful with sharp things.

I was going to drop all the baby/toddler clothes off at Goodwill seeing as I don't know many people having babies right now. Then I realized my best friend from high school is pregnant with baby number four. I took a chance that she might need them but didn't think she would since he last baby was a girl. Well her last baby is messy so she more than needs them. :) I've already packed up one large box for her and probably have at least one more to go. One less thing under foot for now.

No more

2009-07-21T00:50:00.002-04:00

It is damn near impossible to get anything done around here. The house needs to be done by the first, not packed but cleaned to the point of spotlessness. We're packing as we go along because it's just easier to have stuff packed that we won't be using anytime soon. Without fail, every single time I start to make headway with something, Evan starts screaming his head off for no reason other than he wants someone to sit and entertain him. I feel like I'm trying to dig a hole to China and have only gotten as far as getting the shovel out. And I am so ridiculously tired. Evan hasn't been sleeping well the last few nights and last night was the worst yet. He was awake about every hour screaming. He didn't want a bottle, didn't want a pacifier, he just wanted to be picked up and carried around. I, however, just wanted to go back to sleep so he didn't get carried around. He got the bare minimum of maternal niceness from me and that was it. I have been able to wash about seven loads of laundry in the last two days and actually fold them all as soon as they were dry. I know I should use the this time to be cleaning but I am so sleepy that all I want to do is pass out and wake up nine hours later in a puddle of drool. That's how you know you slept good and deep, when you wake up swimming. :)

I have half a beach in my crack... TMI?

2009-07-19T05:02:00.003-04:00

I may very well be cleaning up sand till the day we sell the house. Whenever we go to the beach, Jasmine makes... snow angels, in the sand. As you can imagine, she brings back a great deal of sand with her. It doesn't help when I brought move home in my pants than she did on her whole body. I made myself a nice little recliner out of sand to lean against on the beach... and then I tried to get more comfortable and slide... backwards. Where do you think all that sand went that was behind me? Straight down my jeans. This was after the sun set. When the sand was cold. Really cold. We had headed for Lake Michigan tonight to go to the Venetian Festival and watch they yearly fireworks. I got several pretty decent photos on Shawn's phone. I no longer have a camera. Jasmine dropped it and, well, apparently you can only drop a camera so many times before something in it decides to die. The fireworks were nice and probably the last ones we'll see unless we go out in September or October to another festival. My guess is with the way finances are at the moment, we're done till next year.

Usually my husband is a bit on edge in large crowds. Tonight he was very well behaved, very laid back. He even commented several times on how good he'd been feeling thus far. We were walking back to our car which was about a mile away from the festival. Throughout the walk, you're passing houses and many times there are people sitting outside at those houses. We came to one house that has a group of guys sitting on the porch every single year. Some years there are girls with them but I don't remember seeing any tonight. It was obvious they had been drinking most of the day. I don't like to... tempt trouble so I made it a point not to even glance in their direction, lest one of them think I'm checking them out. As soon as we were directly in front of the porch, the guy closest to me says "You're gorgeous." It's strange how you can actually feel tension the second it's there. Before the guy could even inhale, my husband's chest was puffed out and he said something along the lines of "You'd better shut your mouth or you're going to get f---d up." One of the guys in the group that was a little more sober (out of about fifteen guys) said "I think you should do it." Wow, you guys aren't really that great of friends with the drunk dude, huh? The drunk dude never said another word after that and we continued on our way. (we never even stopped in front of the house and I never, not once, glanced at any of them... I just kept right on going as if they didn't exist) I laughed pretty much all the way to the car and then some on the way home and then some at home. I don't know, the whole situation was just funny to me. Not at the time of course. Things could've went very differently if the drunk dude decided to keep on going and I don't want my kids to see their daddy get into a fight and then proceed to get arrested. What I thought my husband should've said was "You know, I really tried to look good before I left the house today too. Thanks for noticing, I'm touched." And btw, I don't think Jasmine even knew anything happened or that any words were exchanged. She was walking behind us with my mom. Otherwise I would've had a mountain of questions to answer.

Ooooh What a night

2009-07-18T02:06:00.003-04:00

Went to the drive-in last night (one of the few left in the US) and watched the new Potter movie. The ending was a little disappointing. You leave going THAT'S the end?! Really? It's not some kind of trick? When the movie was nearly over, we noticed that the lights were a bit dim. We tried to turn the car on and guess what?! The battery had died. It may have been because we were using the wipers for the car since it was raining and then occasionally turning on the air to defog the windows. I've never had it happen before but the guy that gave us a jump said he's up there all the time and sees it happen quite often. They clearly tell you not to leave your car on while you're there since carbon monoxide is, you know, deadly and they also tell you "this will not drain your car's battery." Right Mr. Large Screen. We decided not to stay for the second movie, as we were concerned that we may not find another kind soul to jump us if our battery were to die again. Evan slept almost the entire time. I was extremely grateful to the little screamer, even if I did have to sit perfectly still or he would wake up screaming. Jasmine had quite a large dose of cotton candy throughout the movie... I clearly wasn't thinking when I handed the giant bag over. She was wired when we got home and stayed that way until around 2 or 3 in the morning.

Earlier this evening, I had bought a large coffee from Gloria Jeans. It must have had a delayed effect. We came home, made dinner and then left for Walmart. The caffeine kicked in about the time the door shut to the car. My husband had to listen to loud and purposely off key renditions of whatever song happened to be on the radio. When every station had on commercials, I would sing 'Oh it's Friday night And I feel all right, Oh it's Friday night (oh what a night)!" Over and over and over again as I don't know any other words to that song. (yes I know it's ladies night but tonight was FRIDAY night) Eventually Jasmine joined in, just as loud.

2009-07-16T03:51:00.001-04:00

Really shouldn't look at foodie blogs when you feel like vomiting. Seems to intensify the effect. I keep telling myself this is what I would feel like for a full three months if I decided to get pregnant again. Myself keeps telling me back that it doesn't care, it's only three months. Myself is going to is going to regret telling me that some day.

Nonsense, nonsense I say

2009-07-16T02:46:00.002-04:00

I've spent a good portion of the night looking up nonsense rhymes and folk rhymes. (although some of you are quite aware of that by now if you're on the bookface) I'm enjoying them a great deal. It's as if you're reading things a little... backwards.

We got rid of some furniture today. Gave some to a friend who needed it and some to Goodwill. We still have some that needs to go but didn't get around to it tonight. The house is starting to look a little... desolate. I swear I saw a tumbleweed earlier but it turned out to be some of Mia's dog hair. The less that is here when we sell, the less we have to take with us. Only a few pieces of furniture actually have any meaning to me, everything else I'm not attached to at all. The pieces I will absolutely not part with are, two worn recliners that belonged to my grandfather, which I plan to have them re-upholstered, a china cabinet that was my grandmother's and a small dresser that was also my grandmother's. It will be a very long time before I'll be ready to part with those recliners so they'd better hold up a while after I get them done. The realtor will be here in the next several days to take photos. This part it happening quite fast but I doubt the selling will go as quickly. I'm a little concerned however as I saw a realtor at my neighbors house a few days ago. You never want to have your house for sale directly next door to another house and the fewer houses for sale in your neighborhood, the better. You don't want people to have too many options in one neighborhood or else they may find a house they like better, is better priced, etc., than your own. I think the house across the street sold recently though. The lights were on in the garden tonight and it's the first time there's been any lights on at all since she died.

2009-07-13T04:22:00.002-04:00

Is it wrong that I just found baking chocolate online that I plan on buying (someday) that costs $72.00? Am I really that bake crazy? I think I must be.

I made them, I can pout about them

2009-07-13T03:15:00.002-04:00

I made cookies tonight. Cookies should make one happy. I. Am. Not. Happy. I was so excited to make this recipe. I have been looking for something similar since I was a kid. I'm starting to think I really dreamed up these cookies from my childhood. They are a soft, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth type of cookie and if that's not awesome enough, the centers are filled with creamy milk chocolate. The cookies I made tonight... *sigh* they are nothing like that. I had to drink half a glass of water after ingesting one of these tiny bits of food poisoning to keep from choking they were so dry. And the chocolate in the middle? Couldn't even tell it was there. I even drizzled vanilla icing over the tops and they still weren't to my liking. Jasmine on the other hand, had six in a row. Sorry kid, this is the first and last time I will be making them. I have been searching the interwebs for an hour now trying to find my recipe. If it's not out there, I will create it the damn cookie myself. In my searches for the chocolate filled cookie from heaven, I have found a skillet cookie that I think I'll make for dessert tomorrow after we eat dinner with my mom. It's a Martha Stewart recipe... usually you have to tweak Martha's recipes to make them have... uhm, flavor but this one looks to be on the up and up.

I get to keep the foot. :) There is nothing wrong with me other than the fact that I need to watch where the hell I'm stepping (apparently even if I have shoes on) and wash my boo-boos like a good girl. I think the lines that were spreading from the puncture were indeed from the pink paintballs that me and Jasmine had been smooshing with our feet since most of it had faded by morning. (and yes I tried to wash the stuff off the night before but it wouldn't budge, which is why I feared death by massive infection)

Jasmine goes to the doctor tomorrow. She just found out about the appointment today. She is not what you'd call pleased. The day after the fourth, she got this rash and has been itching ever since. I've had it with being woken up in the middle of the night to her trying to scratch the flesh from her hand and made her an appointment on Friday. I figure they'll just take a look at it and then tell me to put some cream on it. (I've tried the over the counter stuff) And wouldn't you know it, she hasn't itched it once tonight. Even if it's better tomorrow, she still needs to go as she gets canker sores in her mouth at least once a month and some of them can be monsters.

Need a little quiet time

2009-07-11T03:12:00.002-04:00

It's just been one of *those* days. We started off the day (me on only four hours sleep) going to Lake Michigan with my mom for a day of sun and swimming... or neither. The beach turned suddenly cold shortly after arriving, there was no sun and the water was like ice. And then it started to rain. We came home and just kind of stared at the walls for a while. After a few hours of nothing, Shawn wanted to go outside to see if the paintball guns he borrowed worked properly since he will be playing in the morning. Jasmine realized he was out of the room and wanted to go with him. Seeing as how a few hours earlier she had escaped out the backdoor and then out of the fenced yard without making much noise at all, I figured it would be best to go with her. I was just reaching for her hand as we opened the backdoor and Mia (border collie) rushed out the door, shoving Jasmine out of the way and causing her to face plant off the back steps, which are cement, onto the concrete. I thought I was going to be sick. I had no idea how bad it would be when she came up but a million images pass through your head in a matter of seconds. The way I said 'oh god no' quickly got Shawn's attention and he came around the side of the truck and was in the backyard so fast that I swear he must have just flew over the fence. She wasn't badly injured. She has multiple scrapes on her legs and hands, along with one just under her nose, making her appear to have a constant nose bleed. She was still crying as she asked 'Can I please play outside now?' After that she ran around stomping on and breaking paintballs as well as scolding her daddy for getting mad at the dog, stating that the dog didn't mean to do it and it was just an accident. We all ended up with a great deal of mosquito bites before we came inside (Evan was napping... for about four hours). Once the screamer woke up, we headed to Walmart to get a few things for tomorrow for the boys day of shooting each other with paint filled balls. That went fairly uneventful. However, it was a lot of walking. Now yesterday, I was out trying to get the wood pile to burn and being quite unsuccessful to the point of quitting. While I was out there, I felt a stabbing in my foot. My initial thought was what the hell was that... and then I realized I had flip flops on, nothing should've been stabbing my foot. I lifted up my foot and saw that there was a small piece of wood with several nails sticking out it, one of which was stuck through my flip flop and into my foot. 'Well, isn't that just effin' fabulous' I thought. I took off my flip flop, thus removing the nail from my foot and then from my flip flop. I threw away the board but neglected to do what any moron does after getting a wound of that kind... I never cleaned it. Fast forward to tonight. We stopped at the gas station on the way home as I was planning on some running tomorrow and didn't want to get gas then. A neighbor was getting gas at the time and we started talking. Suddenly we hear 'Moooooooo.' In the middle of the city you don't expect to hear that. There was a trailer with a big brown and white cow in it. I, being the animal dork I am, said 'oooooh I want to pet the cow!!' Tyler, being just a dork, said 'Let's go ask him!' We jogged over and asked if we could pet the farmer's cow. He looked at us like we were on acid but said sure. Turns out the cows name is Spanky (I do n.o.t. want to know whatever story is behind that as it got a laugh out of the farmer) and he was not for dinner but rather his son's cow that he raised from a calf and they were just showing him at the fair. I hobbled back to the car and saw Jasmine in full tears because SHE wanted to see the cow too. (duh mom) I grabbed her out and jogged (carrying her since I didn't stop to put on her flip flops) so she could see him, although she wanted nothing to do with petting him. (He was stressed and drooling... enough to fill a small pond) I took her back to the car but still holding her as we stayed out of the car to talk, suddenly I had some awesome pain in my foot and handed her off to Shawn. The pain stayed the rest of the time we were there and only intensified after returning home. If my foot wasn't elevated as much as possible when I was hopping through the house, it would start throbbing and cause my breath to catch. I took an antibiotic (I figure it's better to start one NOW if it is an infection, rather than wait till I get in tomorrow) and put some antibiotics on the puncture (which by the way was only deep enough to cut the skin a little) and then I took some pain medication. That's about the time I noticed the wide red streaks (light in color, not veiny) here and there. I can't be sure they are from an infection, the paintballs (which were pink) or just from being clumsy. I plan on heading to medpoint to tomorrow if they are still there and it's still as painful. Don't worry, I'm not taking any chances here as I've done my online research and if these streaks are from infection then it would be in the lymphatic system and can be extremely dangerous. Typically these infections were caused by what was commonly called in the 90's as the flesh eating bacteria. Yikes. I had plans for tomorrow but they may have to be put on hold a while. God, my husband will want to kill me if it turns out it is and infection and I'm told to stay off my feet as much as possible... we have a house to get ready for sale. Yeesh, what a day.

Long Day with more to come

2009-07-09T02:11:00.003-04:00

I am one sleepy lady tonight. We went to the local zoo with my dad and step-mom today. We did everything you can do at this zoo, pony ride, gift shop, train ride, see the butterflies. The highlight for me and my dad however, were the galapagos tortoises. They are in a fenced in area but in the fence is low enough that you can touch them. You're only supposed to touch the shells. Some kids had come up before us and threw in some weeds, complete with the root. Mr. Tortoise was eating them and the roots kept getting stuck in his mouth. The poor guy kept trying to hold them down with his foot but they're not exactly flexible creatures. I eventually, with great caution, reached down to touch his neck. I was just curious as to how his skin felt. They are kind of squishy and in definite need of some moisturizer. After a few minutes, I tried again. The damn weed was just driving me nuts. I wanted to get it out of his mouth but I have quite a liking for my fingers. Well, it turns out, this particular tortoise really just loves having his neck scratched. He stood up and stretch his neck out as far as it would go and even looked as if he was going to fall asleep. Eventually, my dad took over and I was able to snatch the nasty roots from his mouth. How often do you get that kind of encounter with a tortoise of that size? I asked my husband if I could have one in the backyard. He said absolutely not. :)

Afterwards we went to Five Guys for some burgers. We decided to sit outside since it was nice out and easier to have the baby outside rather than in. While I was waiting for everyone to bring out the food (I stayed at the table with the little one) a lady asked if the burgers were any good. My step-mom said they were the best she's ever had. There was a lady with her (that I thought looked really familiar) that said 'Oh no, then you've never been to my restaurant and tasted my black angus burgers!' We talked with them for a while and found out that the reason she looked so familiar was that she had done a cooking segment on the local news for a while. They went on to look at some shops and we finished our meal. As we were cleaning up, they came walking back through and we talked some more. Turns out the lady that had the cooking segment is doing an interview for the Food Network tomorrow. All the while I'm thinking, 'Should I ask this lady for her autograph? She could be the next Emeril.' She did say if she got the job and we ever wanted tickets, just to stop by the restaurant and leave our info. She was quite nice and had a great personality for television.

Shawn decided that it would be easier for him and my dad to work on the boat tonight rather than on Sunday. We headed over there after we all ate. I was exhausted from a lack of sleep the night before so I also grabbed a coffee first. I can't believe I managed to stay awake the entire time we were there. Something about being at my parent's houses just causes me to get sleepy, then add on already being exhausted. Usually about eight out of ten times that I go over to my dad's, I end up falling asleep on his couch for a while. Here it is 2:30am, I'm running on four house sleep and still going. Then again, I've been averaging six a night so I suppose I didn't lose as much sleep as I thought. I need to get in a good night tonight however as we have some more busy days ahead of us. Husband has one more week off of work and so far, we have only a few days full of running around for that week. We'll spend the rest of the time scrubbing the house. Tomorrow I take the kittens to the vet. This morning Ryder's eye was so swollen that even though it was open, you couldn't actually see his eye, just the eyelid. He was better this evening but still needs to see a vet. Friday we may be going to the beach. Saturday Shawn is playing paintball all day and I'm still not sure if I have plans or not. I thought I did but she may be busy after all. Wednesday or Thursday I hope to take Jazz to the drive-in movies to see the new Harry Potter movie. Saturday we'll be heading up to Michigan for a fireworks show. Is there time to breath in there anywhere because I just know more stuff will pop up.